Gotham Gatecrash: A Black Lagoon & Batman tale
by Dr Gonzo
Summary: Hotel Moscow hits the streets of Gotham with Revy riding shotgun on a mission of revenge but when Poison Ivy and Penguin decide to play with fire, anyone stupid enough to get in Balalaika's path is likely to get burnt. *REVISED*
1. Chapter 1

**Gotham Gatecrash - A Black Lagoon / Batman x-over**

**Author: B.H. Ramsay**

**Email**:  
**Disclaimer:** Characters appearing here belong to DC Comics & Funimation Entertainment  
**Rating:** Adult  
**Spoilers:** many  
**Dedicated to:** The Shrine of Heroes...May she live on forever in my memories if nowhere else. Amigodude, just another soul, unkeptsecret … oh hell the whole crowd at the Black Lagoon forums.

**Summary: ** A mission of revenge brings two of Roanapur's lethal ladies to Gotham City but when a Gang War derails their plans, someone has to pay, and there's a bat-shaped coffin waiting if the Dark Knight thinks to get in the way.

* * *

Rebecca's Story

Pain, my senses are swimming.

I'm not really certain where the pain stops and I begin. Maybe I don't begin; maybe this is the ending for me. My life has been nothing but pain since it began so maybe pain is all there really is for me. The pain of being unwanted; pain of being uncared for; pain at being betrayed, I am barely a teenager but my life has been defined by pain and my efforts to avoid feeling it or being a victim of it.

Certainly the policemen who beat on me tried hard to erase me, blot me out, kill me, they worked on me till I screamed, cried, begged for a mercy they had no intention of granting.

There were words ... drug possession, theft, murder and attempted murder. How did it come to this? How did I fall to this, I supposed to be so strong and so untouchable. Salina used to say I was the toughest ... She was the smartest but I was the toughest.

There is another voice now older, gentle, a man I don't trust old men they hurt in their own way. The pain they bring hurts in places that even police batons cannot touch.

More words, words I don't understand. I shake my head trying to clear it. My mouth is full of something that tastes foul and chokes me. I spit it out, blood I think it might even be my blood. I slip in and out of consciousness. There is a sensation of movement, speed, and sound, bright lights and loud voices.

I hear more phrases that mean something at last. The language of social workers and children's aid workers I hear some of their favourite words. Phrases like head trauma, multiple lacerations, concussion and later words like compound fracture. Obviously, I am really screwed up. It's a miracle I'm still breathing. I don't talk to God I stopped believing in God a long time ago but I talk to him now or maybe his opposite, The Other Guy, I make a vow, if I survive this, I will make Him pay. That bastard of a foster father who did this to me, I will hunt him down and make him pay. No will ever do something like this to me ever again. I'll kill them first.

Later there are more voices the same older male voice I heard before in the ambulance answering the screeching anger of a female doctor. "Leslie, I have no idea who beat her up I swear." the man says

"Jim Gordon you look me in the eye and you tell me you have no idea how this child came to be beaten to within an inch of her life -- you tell me that."

I can hear this Gordon's voice ... the shame and the tiredness. He knows all too well how this came to be.

The woman's voice again, Leslie was it? "Jim, please tell me you're going to do something about this. They beat this girl to within an inch of dying. If they are beating children in the streets, it's gone too far. You know that."

Gordon goes quiet. The Girl wonders if he is gone left. Turned his back on her like they all do eventually. But no, He is not gone, just speaking very, very quietly "I think that's Michael Antonucci's step daughter -- the runaway."

"...And the girl what about her?"

"That business up in Chinatown, the massacre, some witnesses reported seeing a young girl there."

"Surely they aren't going to try and finger this young girl for that kind of ...Jim that's just evil."

"Not my Call Leslie and If the Witnesses are accurate..."

There is disgust in the Leslie's voice "What kind of mad house is this. What's wrong with this city?"

"One day Leslie things will change, " Gordon says sadly, "One day this city will change."

"Well If I don't do something this little one won't be around to see it."

The young girls last thought before passing out again is that Gordon is a fool. She has lived in Gotham City all her short life and nothing ever changes it's always the same, this city, its people, their lust for the dark and corrupted side of things. Nothing ever changes.

* * *

Balalaika's Story  
***

I sit in the dark. The only light is the glowing ember from my cigar. Its flares when I take a drag, the light occasionally shows me the pictures scattered on my desk. The pictures are autopsy photos showing a middle-aged male lying on a metal table. His unclothed form clearly shows the place where bullets tore away his life.

I stared at the pictures for a long time until I drew the curtains to sit in the dark. His name is Nukhaev and a long time ago back when I was younger and sillier I think I loved him I know he loved me. He even loved me after the incident that gave me the distinctive scarring that gives me the local nickname of Fry-face.

He loved me; he just couldn't look at me. My pride says that it was the scars, that he was too weak. That if he had really loved me, the scars would not have mattered. I'm smarter now I can admit that the real reason he couldn't look at me wasn't because of the scars. It was because of my eyes.

He was the first of many who discovered that looking for anything like mercy or love in my eyes is a foolish waste of time. It wasn't love or mercy that let me survive the war, the death I saw, the pain of losing half my face; love isn't what got me through. It was hate, pure, cold hard and sharp. It was a ruthless determination to survive at all costs and punish my enemies that got me though those long days of recovery. My hate remains with me still a place that is warmed by this vile heart of darkness called Roanapur.

I can feel that place now, the flame that is both ice cold yet fiery hot as well. It burns as it has since I saw the pictures. I know he was stationed in Gotham City. I want to know what happened. I want to look into the eyes of those responsible and feel their fear as they looking to my eyes looking for mercy and pity and I want to see the fear when they find nothing nothing but my hate ready to consume them.

The door to my office study opened slowly. The light from outside cuts the gloom but even the light in Roanapur knows not to try disturbing Fry-face when she is pissed off, and I am in a foul mood. Only two men in this city would dare try my temper at this moment and Chang would still be in bed at this hour. So I don't even have to look to know that my intruder is Sergeant Boris.

"Well?" I snap.

"I asked about this Nukhaev's death," Boris says, his Baltic features twisted by school-boyish concern, "his juniors Mikhail and Vassily could tell me little and you know Volchek basically told me it was none of our business how he died. No offence meant ma'am but do we really want to get involved with this I mean..."

"We do not leave a comrade-in-arms on foreign soil and we do not leave a comrade's death unanswered for. That is Hotel Moscow's way. He was a brother-in-arms and his killers will be punished. This is a matter I take very personally."

Boris nodded "I thought you would say that so I took the liberty of showing the expense reports to the Japanese... from Lagoon Company."

Rock Okajima, the latest addition to the landscape of Roanapur, he is that rare flower that comes late to this foul business and yet shows a strange aptitude for it. "Give me good news Comrade Sergeant." I order and he responds with a grim smile.

"Someone was skimming off the top and trying to make it look like it was Nukhaev."

I smile. I lean forward just enough that my gargoyle like features slip out of the gloom to be partially illuminated. "Prepare the Marie Zeleska for operations out-of-town. Tell Rock that he is to pack for a week away." even to my ears my voice sounds cold and lacking emotion.

"He will be easier to handle if he has his security blanket along" Boris says simply

I consider his point. Having the Lagoon's Gunslinger along means potential chaos. However, her presence and more importantly her street smarts, help keep Rock in-line. The rewards outweigh the risks. "Then prepare documentation so that Revy can operate on foreign territory." I order.

He hesitates, "I have looked into her background there could be problems. She comes from Gotham and pulled an early version of a Two Hands special in the middle of Chinatown. There was also a police officer killed. She was teenager at the time."

"Ahh little sister, always making life interesting for me."

"If it turns out the Triads were responsible for Nukhaev's death I'd let her deal with it. Technically she is still Chang's so it would be an internal matter."

The flame of hate blazes up at his words. "I will deal with whoever is responsible for The Chechen myself." I say with quiet intensity.

"...Are you sure about this. After Tokyo things were a little disorganized and we are only now getting the place back in order following the Lovelace Maid's rampage."

" I assure you I worked out an excellent contingency plan should something like Tokyo become necessary again. Round up six of our more troublesome agitators. Tell Sawyer the Cleaner to leave the bodies somewhere conspicuous, I want every one to know who they were and how they were dealt with."

"What will we say they did?'

I crush out the dregs of my cigar. "They got noticed," I tell him coldly, "The rest of the cockroaches will crawl deeper into the shadows and remain there until we return."

* * *

The waves lapped against the Gotham Docks as Marty's eyes searched the darkness. He chucked a cigarette in the filthy water and cursed. He and his partner were walking the perimeter of the Dock area. Gloomy lighting reflected of the rain slick pavement. They passed one of several trucks groaning quietly in the evening air, each one was loaded with stolen gun parts. Several of the boxes bore the logo of Penguin Munitions. The weapons manufacturer had been pilfered, the boxes, and the rich bounty they contained, had been taken from them. Rumours persisted however that this was a cover story for the benefit of the police and insurance adjusters.

"So explain why we are doing the Birdman's dirty work for him?" Marty asked his partner a tall lanky fellow who went by the name of Dukes for reasons unknown to anyone who cared. Dukes claimed it was a tribute from his days in the ring but his build, age and temperament were all wrong to have ever strapped on a pair of gloves. Still he could fight and he knows how to keep his mouth shut which were invaluable skills in the trade.

"Birdman is moving product and is paying big money for it do you really care about the details."

How do we really know it's the Bird," Marty asked, "It could have been anyone on the phone."

"Pick the stuff up at Penguin Munitions and deliver it to the docks. Wait for the water taxi to pick it up and we get paid."

"Yeah I heard the message too but that doesn't mean it was Penguin."

Dukes smiled, "Who do you think it was, The Bat?"

Marty turned to Dukes pointing an accusing finger at him, "Do not joke about The Bat, Dukes; never Joke about The Bat."

"Sorry I didn't mean anything by it it's just you're starting to sound like Mikhail and Vass those two are crapping in their pants lately."

Marty wasn't above doing a little rumour-mongering, especially if it was at the expense of someone else. "What did you hear?" he asked eagerly.

"My old lady and Vass's hang out at the same salon. She told me that some bigwig from back home is pissed about the Chechen."

"Well it's like us aint it? Every body's got Bat problems what do they expect?"

"Money, every day, and I don't think they care about the details. I heard Sal Moroni had to go back to Sicily to explain the mess around here to the capos back home. They say he looked like he was going to the gallows when he left. "

"So what are the Ivans doing about it?"

"Word is they are sending in Hotel Moscow and the Mad Russian to deal with it that's why Vass and Mike are nervous."

"How crazy do you have to be that they call you the Mad Russian?"

"That is but one of her names"

"A dame, the Russkies are sending a dame? That is so lame it's funny."

Dukes shook his head, "Yeah keep laughing dude. Word is they call her Fry face. You want to know why? Cause during some war she got nailed with napalm or some shit. They say that she didn't make a sound while the doctors were cutting the flesh off."

"No kidding?"

"They say she runs their operations in Roanapur, Thailand ...Roanapur -- the villain's paradise."

Marty rolled his eyes, "Where the streets are paved with gold and the best crooks in the world can make double and triple what jobs are worth." Marty sneered, "There's really only so much bullshit I'll swallow before it starts to be a little on the unbelievable side."

"You can laugh if you want to..."

"I do "

"...But I would not want to be Vassily or Mikhail. When this bitch finds out about the Bat... you know these old school types they look at crap like what goes on in this city and they just don't get it."

Suddenly their radios squawked and a nervous voice came through. It was Frank another usually stable fellow who sounded scared. "Guys have you seen Paul"

"He's with Garret, they are supposed to be watching the east entrance."

"That's just it, I'm at the East Entrance and they aint here." Frank was obviously freaking out.

"Relax I'm sure they're fine." Marty soothed his nervous co-worker, "Paul, Paul sound out...Garret, Garret are you there."

Marty looked around and saw Dukes peering at a secured panel, one of several that dotted the dock area.

Dukes looked the panel, "Marty aren't these supposed to be closed, and what's this weird crap caked over it?" Marty heard the scrap of metal on pavement and looked down at his feet was a sharp bat shaped shuriken "Oh god..." he started suddenly there was an explosion from the panel and Dukes was thrown to the ground as the lights faded. The Dock area was plunged into almost total darkness.

"Marty, Marty the lights just went out " Frank cried out

"Yeah no kidding I know the lights are gone. Just do not panic." Marty snapped as he bent to check Dukes who was lying prone on the ground knocked out by the force of the blast.

"Oh god, I found em, Paul and Garret I found 'em. They're just hanging here."

"Well get them to help you search. We gotta find that Bat"

"No man, I mean they are hanging upside down ...he strung them up."

"Fine OK stays their I'm Heading to your location. We will stick together."

Marty started moving toward frank when he heard a cry and random gunfire. "Frank, Frank, are you there? Comeback, answer me." The thug called into the radio again.

Suddenly a soft voice hissed out the radio speaker, "Sorry Frank can't come to the phone. It's just you and me now Marty, just you and Me." the radio cut off abruptly.

Marty's eyes frantically searched the darkness. He fired at any kind of moving shadow but they would create smoke that would swirl in the corner of his eye making him swing around and cut loose with a blast. Finally he had his back to a wall. Now at least the Bat couldn't sneak up behind him.

Surprise the same harsh voice growled and Marty was hauled into the air he spun and thrashed and found himself hanging upside down. A hard fist gripped his head and his swinging was arrest and his body spun slowly until he was looking into a pair of white eyes. Who told you to hit the Munitions factory?"

"I don't know it was just a voice on the phone. All weird like a machine, the front money was in place so we said yes."

"Convince me."

"It was the Birdman it had to be. Getting in was way too easy. Everything was right there ready for us to take."

"What about the Russians. Tell me more about them "

I don't know anything I swear, please let me down."

Suddenly There was a rustle of leather wings and then Marty was talking to himself, he wriggled a little trying to get himself loose but it was not happening he could hear police sirens in the distance and he prayed they would be there soon. He had a sudden urge to pee and in his inverted state that would've a very bad idea.

* * *

A solitary figure watched from the shadows as the police arrive. The dark blue of their uniforms is swallowed in a sea of aquamarine, gray and white by the light enhancement lenses. The lenses make them out to be empty human shapes painted by the recognition firmware in the suit's smart A.I. The new generation even tells him what mood they are in so he knows that it is the vets cursing him. They think him long gone. They hate having to shimmy up poles to cut down gang-bangers left like low hanging fruit. The more nervous rookies are probing the darkness. They have all heard the stories about the man in the shadows the infamous Batman sometime hero, The Dark Knight. Soon they find all the evidence he has left for them everything they need, almost all they need. There is nothing solidly connecting Cobblepot, the Penguin to the evening's thugs. Despite that Batman was sure the thug was telling the truth. Their break-in and theft were entirely too easy, for a crew this incompetent. It was too polished. Penguin had all but drawn the thugs a map to where the stuff was located. Had Batman not already been patrolling in the area, had he not already been suspicious of Penguin's operations ...He raises a hand to the cowl over his head.

"Oracle, has Penguin made a move yet?"

The voice came over the line. "He just filed a burglary report listed everything that's sitting down there -- no more no less."

"Cobblepot is calling it a robbery."

"A Robbery attempt ... thanks to us the police have his stuff which will be down at Police Plaza. The Penguin's having a hell of a run of bad luck." Oracle commented with a sarcastic tone," First a shipment of machine parts goes into the North Atlantic..."

"One of Cobblepot's illegal arms shipments I have no doubt." Batman commented, "Still why was it headed back to Gotham when it went down?"

"...And this makes the second time this month someone has robbed him .One hit on his waste disposal plant and now one on Penguin Munitions if we weren't paying so much attention to him he might be in real trouble."

"Stripped gun parts, advanced electronics equipment and biohazard material, He's planning something big. We need to shut down his secret port. He's running materials in and out of this city past cops' weapons inspectors' federal authorities...."

"...And us...but I'm telling you, this isn't about selling anything. I can't find a single trace of a buyer or reseller anywhere. Whatever Cobblepot wanted those weapons for he wanted them for his own use. Although I have no idea why he'd stage a robbery of his own material?"

"...To throw everyone including the police off balance." Batman answered, "Once the goods have been stolen not only can he file an insurance claim he can recover the goods secretly and use them or re-sell them with nobody the wiser. The last place you go looking for a stolen wallet is in the pocket of the man it was stolen from."

"Maybe he was setting up the gangs. Getting them arrested has pretty much gotten them out of his hair."

"Unlikely Cobblepot likes being at arms length from his schemes with the Italians on the downturn and the street gangs now in custody over this fiasco all of Penguin's usual pawns are off the board. Whatever he's up to he's going to have to get his hands dirty with it personally this time. That's not like him. In the meantime I need you to run a check."

"Hotel Moscow and Roanapur? One step ahead of you. Boss. I already got an overview. Some ex-military types setup a lawless region in the South China Sea. It's now become the central vetting place for a majority of the illicit activity that goes on in that part of the world. Hotel Moscow was little more interesting. They were a Russian Black Ops force. Go anywhere, do anything, they were the ones to call when you needed it done fast, hard, and body count was not an issue."

"Russian Mafia leadership has appointed them to deal with Mikhail and Vassily."

"Bruce, I'm looking at the combat data. These guys gave new meaning to the term scorched earth. Why would they be coming here?"

"Only two reasons, neither good for us. Either their here to deal with Mikhail or they are here to deal with me."

"I'll start looking for all the data I can find." Oracle's voice betrayed her intense concern even over the digital connection.

"Go deep Oracle," Batman ordered as his eyes probed the darkness for a way to help his beleaguered city, "go deep; they may already be on their way and I want every advantage I can get."

***


	2. Chapter 2

Arkham Asylum had many things going for it. One the best, at least as far as she was concerned, was its newest resident, Doctor Harleen Quinzell. Today, she was escorting a good-looking woman through The Rouges Gallery as it was called a long hallway in which the asylum's most notorious and violent cases could be found. She wasn't sure who the woman was nor did she especially care. For Harleen, Harley to her friends, there was only one thing she cared about and it was coming up on the right. She stopped to stand by one particular door gesturing like a games show prize model. "The peace-dealer-resistance," she joked, "The Joker, no other first or last name, our pride and joy." She pulled aside the viewing slat that allowed one to view the room beyond and its occupant.

The woman stepped forward and was shocked when a pair of green eyes was up-close to the door staring back at her. She startled back as she heard a harsh bark followed by a demented laughing.

Harleen giggled "Aint he a pip, I mean it, something new with him every day."

"How was he caught this time?" The Woman asked.

"He was running a pet grooming business. Would you believe that, pet grooming."

"...And he was harming the animals, I assume?"

"Oh no he was actually grooming them. The scam was that the shampoo had his Joker toxin in it. Managed to poison about a dozen high priced pet owners before they got to him. When they caught him he threw one of those bitching freeze dogs at the cops it was hilarious."

"I think you mean Bichon Frise." The Girl corrected, "I was hoping to look at your new patient... the addict Doctor Quinzell."

"God, Addicts are boring. Normally we'd just detoxify him and commit him for thirty days and call it a case closed. The only reason we gave Freddie boy here his own secured room was because Toxicology can't identify what his poison of choice is or was."

"May I see him?"

"Your choice sweetie, right this way "she stepped across the hall and opened the viewing slat the woman peered inside.

Strapped to a bed was a frail looking man. He was moaning and whining. "The Green, the green give me back the green. I'm sorry I'll do whatever you want just give me back the green."

"Can I see him?"

Quinzell opened the door and let herself and the Woman inside. Harley watched the woman examine the medical chart and then the patient himself. "Has he had any visitor aside from myself." She finally asked Harley.

"His company Doctor, she signed in as a Doctor Woodrue and looked at him a moment then left why?"

"...Because this man is high. If you detoxified him wouldn't that mean he was now going to..."

"O.D. and drop dead?" Harleen looked at the guy checking his vitals, "Good catch yeah I guess Buddy's going to die but at least he's going to die happy. Too bad too, Oh well there is still the autopsy to look forward to. Maybe we can learn something then. "

"Doctor I've just told you your patient is dying. You seem unconcerned."

"I'm not." Quinzell flashed a cold smile, "See that ceiling camera, its one tiny part of a security system that covers this whole building and the grounds around it twenty four hours a day. If your guy got scrubbed the question on my mind is not who did it since it was most likely the company Doctor, I'm betting she signed in under a false name and slipped him something. She probably had inside help. That's the only it could be done. What concerns me is why... why come all the way here, the guy, He was a potato. Within about a week, maybe less, he would have been dead on his own he was dying of withdrawal. There was enough poison mixed with the narcotics in his system but that wasn't what was killing him nor was it the narcotics that started breaking down so fast I'd say detoxing him was a waste. Someone knew how we treat addicts and used that to their advantage care to speculate why?"

"Thank you Doctor Quinzell you've been most...illuminating."

"Hey you want to listen to the Joker tapes it's the funniest stuff."

"No thank you Doctor I'll be on my way." With that, the woman walked quickly out to a waiting car. Climbing inside the sedan, she began the long drive back to Gotham City passing over the long bridge that was the only way to get to or from Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane and the island it sat on like some squatting ugly creature.

The muscular driver looked in the rear-view "What did you learn?" he asked.

"That the Good Doctor Quinzell is a Joker fan-girl "

"What else did we learn?"

"Our agent, who has no previous history if drug use, was dying of withdrawal from a narcotic with a plant base. A drug that does not officially exist. Thanks to someone's intervention he is now dying of an overdose oddly enough of that same drug. The only clue I have is that the company doctor who signs herself, Woodrue, was responsible."

"Penguin Munitions doesn't have a Company doctor and the only Woodrue I know of who would deal in custom-made Narcotics based on naturally occurring flora would be Jason Woodrue but he is dead of course. "

"My Father is proof that death isn't quite as permanent as some would like to think it is."

Your Father and the rest of those who serve owe you much gratitude, my lady. If you had not responded to our pleas, come to Gotham and restored him following his battle with the Dark Knight..."

"Then you fawning sycophants may well have discovered a means of healing the world outside of my father's cruel idealism. Fubu, I think someone has found a use for the good doctor's research, someone who requires Penguin Munitions to remain above suspicion for a little longer."

"I shall make inquiries of course but there is a more practical reason to eliminate Phelps. I have come to learn that he was at there the night that Nukhaev the Chechen was killed supposedly by The Joker."

"Why is that important?"

"... Because the Russian leadership has brought in fixers to deal with Mikhail and Vassily. Her name is Balalaika and she served with Nukhaev during the war in Afghanistan. Rumour has it they were quite close at one time. Phelps death insures that The Joker is the only one who knows who killed the Chechen assuming he didn't do it himself."

"I have heard of Hotel Moscow," The Woman said thoughtfully, "A few too many co-incidences for my liking Fubu I sense the hand of the Demon's Head."

"The Demon's Head, does that not mean we should leave the city "

"No it does not it means that he's making his move so I make mine."

"But its Your Father," Fubu said with reverence in his voice, "... the demons head -- Ra's al Ghul."

A cold look came to her face as steel crept into her voice, "...And I am Talia al -Ghul, heir to his legacy. All it is and will be, whom do you serve?" She asked with a harsh whisper.

"I have sworn to serve you my mistress with my life "

"Then step on it. Daddy and Batman are about to throw down again and if I'm any judge Batman won't be sitting back quietly while Balalaika runs amok and everything I've heard tells me what a bad idea it is to get between Hotel Moscow and something its leader wishes to see dead."

"Have you considered that this is test?"

"How is testing Batman going to accomplish anything. Caught between The Penguin and my father's agent and now Hotel Moscow taking the field this city will become a free fire zone very quickly. This is bad, very bad."

"Maybe the test is not for The Batman but for you, to see if you will interfere and how."

"Fubu prepare for a night incursion The Good Doctor was rather proud of the asylums security it is time to see if her faith was well placed."

"You want to break into that madhouse, for what reason?"

"Balalaika wants revenge if I can expedite that quest she will leave and the fastest way to do that is to find out once and for all if Joker is the murderer of The Chechen."

"Well it isn't like you can just ask him is it?" Fubu waited for her agreement when it was not forthcoming he noticed the malicious twinkle in her eyes, "You can't be serious?"

***

Rock's Story

***

My first impression of Gotham City was that hell had gotten sick and puked up a maze of garish lights art deco sky bridges and grime covered gloom infused skyscrapers. Stone gargoyles peered with evil glee from practically every rooftop. Where the gargoyles didn't hold sway, there was statuary that seemed the product of a deranged psyche with an obsession with portraying religious and social icons in torment despair or agony. The place was also dark really dark. Imagine Tokyo with all its bright and garish lights and noise. Tokyo, as I will always remember it. Now flip the dimmer switch and crank it all the way down. It was like light and good where afraid to walk the streets of Gotham even in the daytime. Just thinking about what it must be like at night was depressing to me.

Revy stood at the railing of the Marie Zeleska as she cruised into port. She seemed lost in thought with her arms wrapped protectively. She kept silent about whatever was bothering her. She was holding her demons clutched as close to her heart as the Barretta Cutlass Specials in the quick draw shoulder holsters at her side. She even slept with the damn things and was not above pulling them if she was woken suddenly from sleep. One reason why I was often chosen for that particular task, I was one of the few people Revy has ever shot at that has lived to tell the tale.

On deck, the ship's crew, composed entirely of Hotel Moscow's best and brightest, bustled about moving crates. Some were being moved to more ...discreet locations. I noticed several of the large containers That Brother Rico and Sister Eda of the Church of Violence had brought to the ship prior to our departure being hidden under large heavy tarps.

I may still be a villain-in-training, as I like to say, but even I could tell Balalaika had brought an awful lot of firepower for what was supposed to be a simple fact finding mission. I wanted to assume that it was just precautionary thing but I stopped being that naive a long time ago.

A weedy balding man in a gray overcoat trudged up the gangway shouting Balalaika's name. His sour face and nasally voice reminded me of some weaselling middle management types from my days in the corporate world and his rude oafish manner did little to break that impression.

Balalaika emerged from her small office overlooking the deck. She was dressed in uniform like her men although for once she was actually wearing her military coat as opposed to having it draped over her broad shoulders. She glanced at the weedy man with obvious contempt before sparking up a cigarette she took from one of her soldiers. I noticed the man handed the smoke over as if making a divine offering

"Balalaika, I'm on to you." The man screamed while waving a pointing finger at Balalaika, "You might have the executive fooled but I know you are here to cause me nothing but trouble. I won't stand for it you hear me, you tin soldier? I will accommodate you only as far as I the executive board have asked me to and no more."

"Good day to you too Comrade Volchek, I only informed the board that resolving the financial crisis in Gotham City might be too much for you to handle alone. Comrade Casperov agreed with me."

"This disaster is his fault. He put that thieving Chechen in charge and between him and you, our operations have been bleeding money ever since."

"Still maintaining that I'm costing the organization...?"

"I do!"

"...Even though most of my operations, including this one, have been financed out of pocket?"

"Your pocket is our pocket even if you only use your money. You still represent us When you waste your fortune on useless expenditures it makes the rest of us look incompetent. "

"...And what does it say about us when we allow our leaders to be murdered with no response or vengeance? What does it say when we allow underlings to steal from us with no punishment. You were going to cover up The Chechen's murder."

"I was trying to resolve the situation quietly with discretion. I'll have you know I've recently made deals that will result in compensating us for everything that Nukhaev stole." The man -- Volchek apparently, looked at me closely, "Now why is your translator here. It's bad enough you needed him in Tokyo but its unforgivable that you are involving outsiders in our private affairs this matter has already become too public."

"You want to know why Okajima is here. I'll demonstrate. Okajima status of his ...deals please?"

All eyes turned to me and I closed my eyes. "He is completing negotiations with a Gotham based weapons and tech manufacturer, Penguin Munitions. They are trying to make an end run around international weapons shipments and trade with certain war-torn dictatorships not friendly with the United Nations. This is why he'll need Bougainvillea Trading to transport his arms and equipment overseas..."

Volchek laughed at me with contempt, "Heh, shows what you know I had no intention of coming to you or your company of psychos." he snapped sarcastically.

"The reason the ... organization would be using BTC" I continued, "is because we are not bound by international trade restrictions which I'm sorry to say all of your front companies are. Oswald Cobblepot the owner of Penguin Munitions likes doing business with nations on the restricted access list. I'm told that he has even become a source for the gray market diamond trade in conflict gems. Once again all under the table and quite beyond the reach of any of the authorities BTC deals with."

"Meaning, you cheap little man," Balalaika, hissed, "that if you want your precious deal to come to fruition as opposed to rotting on the vine, you'll need me. Now get off my ship and stay out of my way."

"You are not to declare war and turn this city into a shooting gallery like you have that crappy little hole you hold court in. Gotham is not Roanapur. I want no incidents that will make Cobblepot think we are ignorant storm troopers and back away from this deal."

"Okajima will locate the source of our disappearing funds. I have only one agenda. Once I've found and punished Nukhaev's killer or killers...my agenda will be satisfied."

"I have people who are capable of handling the accounting you did not need to involve outsiders."

"The problem with --your people-- is that I do not trust those with demonstratively bad judgment. I would say knowing you and admitting it qualifies as a singular example thereof. Okajima, even at his most stupid is a better choice by far than anyone you might fob off on me."

"You don't know them you've never met them."

"I pick my own people. That is why I have survived. That is why I prosper. That, Volchek, is the end of the matter. If they are associated with you then I'll not have them set one foot on the Zeleska and I won't have them around me."

"I am tired of your insults and your arrogance. You are not as untouchable as you'd have these cowed sheep believing. I say it is long past time the executive reviewed the ridiculous satire that is your leadership enjoy your lofty post while you can. By week's end Roanapur may have a new master that can bring it to heel properly."

"Then I shall have a whole week to enjoy the sight of your wet carcass soaking the seats of your expensive vehicle." The Mob Mistress said pleasantly before grabbing the smaller man hauling his wriggling form into the air. I was in that moment reminded that for a woman who must be in her forties Balalaika is freakishly fast and strong. I watched as she dragged him kicking and screaming to the side of the boat and hurled him over the railing to the water below. The men cheered loudly before Balalaika snapped a command in Russian to them that had them working as furiously as before.

Revy, who still does not speak any Russian beyond a few swear words I taught her, nudged me.

I answered her unasked question, "She told them that the show was over and that any man she didn't see working his best would follow the... I guess nerd is a close translation, into the water."

Revy cackled she was still smiling cruelly when Balalaika joined us. "Excellent work Rock as always. Continue to function at this level of competence and I may begin to suspect your being Japanese is some twisted joke at your expense."

"Who was that Big Sis?" Revy asked.

"Nikola Volchek is in charge of this theatre of operations. We are technically reporting to him. Technically he is also my superior but my refusal to guarantee his safety in Roanapur insures that he doesn't visit us often ...or at all."

"Who'd be stupid enough to make a move on you or anyone under your protection?"

"Chang, in hindsight I may have been a little too free with the information about Volchek's movements while he was visiting the city. Fourteen K made a run at him while my men were otherwise occupied. He has never returned."

"So how are we going to do this?"

"Mikhail and Vassily will meet us at the hotel we meet with the other heads tomorrow. Mikhail wants them to know that I intend no action against them."

"Aren't we packing quite a bit of heat for a simple meet and greet?" Revy gestured toward the large weapons crates.

Balalaika smiled with cold intent "Volchek doesn't want me to declare war thus leaving me free to engage in what we in the trade like to call ... a Police Action "

* * *

Cat's Tale  


* * *

There was something about nights in Gotham City.

Even when I was a kid, I always enjoyed the night I always been most at home when the lights go down and everyone else is asleep.

It's been about a year and a half since my public debut and I still get a kick out of being out here in the dark. It's not just the costume or the modified cat-o-nine tails. It's not the excitement of stealing something that cannot be stolen. It's not even just about HIM although God knows if you've found a crazier thrill then realizing that you are hitting the world's biggest O while in the middle of a full on fistfight thirty stories above the ground, you let me know what it is. It's the fact that I am at last fully completely and eternally in control.

I land on the roof across from the hotel The Russian checked into. Long habit makes me check for security features and when I am satisfied I pad on soft leather heels over to the roof edge. Tonight is not about stealing although My Sources tell me the Hotel has a nice easy mark that would make for juicy prey. I still do that from time to time. I've been hired through a third party and paid well and in advance to monitor Hotel Moscow. To that end I set up listening equipment across from their rooms, which I'm checking.

I set up some parabolic microphones in the hopes of catching a few carelessly spoken words and while the Japanese Kid talks business He's an accountant. I can tell he's closing in on the source of the money leak in the Russian organization. The Russian is apparently using the hotel as more of an in town base of operations. Her real seat of power is still that huge freighter docked at the port. I've got a listening post there as well I'm thinking I'll check the tape there see if any of the solders said anything I can pick up. But then I see HER.

Her hair is different and grown out and she is better endowed then when we were kids. The guns are also new though from what I heard she was already becoming a pretty fair shot when she was a kid. She wears the things with the comfortable familiarity that tells me they aren't just there for show and sparkle. She can and will use them to devastating effect. I barely recognize little Rebecca and yet if you close your eyes and listen …the voice that mouthy attitude hasn't changed in the slightest. Just as intense and foul mouthed as when we were kids in the group home.

It's been almost a lifetime since I last saw Rebecca. We were kids then. Stealing smokes from the matron and generally raising hell. I was shocked when I heard her name connected to that Massacre in Chinatown a few years ago and her frosty silence whenever the subject of her father came up made me unsurprised when he was shot and killed. They arrested her sent her away. Not long after that I heard she was gone, dead and yet here she is very much alive. Acting as bodyguard to the Russian it seems.

I check my disks for audio on them and Rock and Rebecca, or Revy as they call her now, are talking. She has become even more mercenary since we were kids.

Suddenly I'm not alone; I sense it and spin around my hand already snatching at the Whip at my side that has become my primary defensive and offensive weapon. And to think originally I just started using it as a prop for the dominatrix work. I guess you could blame that relentless need I have for perfection and a weird kind of approval.

He waits silent and watching for me to make a move. Slowly i let my hand come away from the whip. Confronting HIM is about establishing dominance. It's a role like any other and we play our roles far too often and well to give up on them now. I expect him to play his part as much as he expects me to play mine.

"What are you doing here Cat?"

"Miss Kitty is just out for a midnight prowl." I answer the cat-thing started out in the press but I have to admit I really feel the character when I do it now.

I like to think he likes it I like to think that because he gives nothing away, not from his eyes which I can't see anyway, not from his body which is totally controlled. He could be raging in lust for me right now and I wouldn't know it ...maybe that's why I want him so much.

"Tell me you aren't spying on Roanapur's Queen." he already knows the answer I play it just as close.

"I like to think of it as preemptive information gathering. If She is here to prop up the Russians then they might be planning on making a move I want make sure if any of my people end up in the crosshairs I have a advanced warning."

"If this starts a gang war, more than the East End will be in danger."

I laugh at the cruel irony that I have to remind HIM of the harsh reality of the situation. "Well I suppose with all the running around you do you'll be too busy to look after my little neck of the woods."

"You've marked your Territory and lately you've been running with your claws more or less sheathed."

I slide in close, running my hands across that broad chest. Common sense says it's the material that his suit is made from that makes it so hard and firm but the deeper part of me, the woman part of me, is pretty sure that's mostly him. "We could work together on this trade ...resources so-to-speak."

"I already know why she's here." He says as he steps out of my reach. I notice that it isn't too far away, just far enough that I would have to follow. Of course I don't dominance and control, remember. "She wants the killer of the Chechen." He is saying in that harsh whisper he uses.

I shrug, "That would be the Joker, and everybody knows that." I remind him.

"What everybody knows and what is real can be and usually are two very different things."

"What are you worried about. If she thinks Joker killed her man then so-be-it. She'll just end up doing what some people think you should have done the first time you caught him."

"There are some who think I should have done that to you, Chinatown gang lords for one, were they right?"

I had not even been planning on waging a war against the Triad when I started this I just wanted my home and my friends to be safe free from intimidation and fear. I had sent the first group I fund beating on one of my neighbours back with a few bruises, the next time it happened I broke some bones. The last I ever had to defend my turf, the luckless thug sent back was sporting my claw marks across his face.

Uncle Donny rose from his bed they say he's confined to now and drove down personally. We met and he made the tongs swear that no more intimidation and violence would take place in The East End. If they'd come to do business that was one thing but if they were there to make or cause trouble, they'd answer to me. The arrangement has worked but it also means I have to keep an eye out for casual incursions. Plus the Tong Lords get a discount on my services as a thief and spy.

"Who's your client Cat, who's trying to stir up trouble? You and I both know this won't end with Joker and if she has to go digging for the answers she'll raze this city down to the ground water without a hesitation."

"Then why not zip line over there and throw a little bat-weight around and make her leave."

"I'm no syndicate enforcer..."

I give a harsh and sarcastic laugh, "You and I both know, someone like that, she gets one look at you all dark and mysterious and capable and it's on. She'll stay just for the challenge of taking you down alone and once that war starts it won't stop till one of you is dead. If you get involved or if you stay out of it, this city is gone either way."

He turns then walking toward the shadows. "Be careful Cat you and your client are playing a dangerous game." he pauses, "And the jeweler traveling alone...the diamonds he's carrying... props. He's a federal agent trying to catch a black marketer."

He disappears then.

I glance at the hotel once more. Professional pride dictates I give The Feds and This Black Marketer a little reminder who is the Big Cat around here. Then again the last thing I need is to end up on the wrong side of a federal investigation and Black Marketers with the resources to get themselves noticed by the government tend to frown on being slapped around by masked adventurers like me. Maybe if I poke around, ask some questions, I can find a way to get the better of both parties and get paid in the process. Oh yes now there's an idea that has a nice intriguing sound to it.

I cast a last look at the Russians suite, According to my eavesdropping; Rebecca and the rest are meeting with the big dogs tomorrow. Knowing this city's gang leaders and their justifiable fear of The Batman's attentions, they will only set the meeting place at the last minute, All the better to avoid the kind of covert surveillance I'm doing right now. My primary concern are my friends in the East End, If Rebecca is still as bad as I remember and this crew she runs with is her equal for mayhem then maybe some getting out of town money might come in handy.

***  
The morning before the night after  
***

Alfred Pennyworth entered his master's study to find him hard at work. Alfred sighed in disappointment.

"Master Bruce, I see from the pristine state of your bedroom you've once again ignored my advice not to work too hard."

"I had a power nap and some of that stuff in the pantry." Bruce Wayne looked up from his computer to take in his Butlar's horrified expression, "You dump hot water on it and nuke it in the microwave?"

"Ah Mr. Noodle -- if only its makers could know the crucial role it plays in the never ending crusade of The Batman...perhaps an endorsement deal."

"Selina was out and about last night."

"A late night rendezvous with the delightful Ms Kyle and what did our felonious feline have to say for herself...should I alert Gossip Greta of Page Six?"

"She's been hired to watch the Russians. She was evasive about who she was working for so I'm working the problem backwards, start with the Russians and see if That leads me to who her client is and why they are interested in this Hotel Moscow."

Alfred set a tray of food next to Bruce who reached for the breakfast dish. Long experience had taught him Alfred would float ceaselessly until he ate at least some of what was there.

The Butler looked at the screen images which showed an attractive blond soldier including hastily shot video. While gunfire raged around her, she could be seen running up and hurling a grenade into a building. She could be seen personally gunning down the dissidents who fled the carnage she created. .

"Should I notify the Duffy Sisters that they will not be joining you for this evenings event at the Iceberg Lounge."

"Mandy and Candy, Oh no I need the distraction of their antics while I check out Cobblepot's place. His secret dock has to be at the Iceberg. This is Balalaika -- Russia's dirty little secret in Afghanistan. Her first tour was pretty standard. Then she went back for a second go around and did every dirty little job that Russia didn't want to admit needed doing and she did it better than most of the Afghan War vets still serving in their military."

"How heartening to know Russia views competent soldiers with the same lack of regard as any other government. I assume this Balalaika will be the focus of your efforts for the next little while."

"I've been thinking about something that Selina said last night. She said that the East End was in the firing line of any war that I waged. That if I started things with this woman it would just make things worse.""

"Always a possibility but you don't exactly have a choice do you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Master Bruce you have to understand something. You essentially started a war with the gangs. They had numbers and resources on their side so you adapted the methods and psychology of terror to combat them and it has worked for the most part."

"Aside from The Joker Penguin and even Catwoman becoming threats to be dealt with."

"In every war there are casualties. Remember you have allies now as well, for instance the ever helpful Oracle. You are facing a woman who has fought the kind of war you brought to the criminals of Gotham and fights it better than most. You must match her tactic for tactic, skill for skill and you must be as determined to win as she because I promise you this Master Bruce a woman like this survived the things she has by being totally devoted to the bottom line, victory at all costs and being one hundred percent adaptable to the situations around her. You must do the same or she will quite literally destroy you."

"So what's the secret?"

"There is no great secret. Wars can be likened to wildfires. They will burn and burn until they are starved of resources to keep them burning."

"The problem with your analogy Alfred is a wild fire can do a lot of damage before it runs out of resources."

"Pardon my bluntness Master Bruce but my analogy was perfect." Alfred retreated to leave him to his dark thoughts.

***

Rock awoke to messages telling him to join the rest. They were enjoying breakfast downstairs in the restaurant in the lobby. As Balalaika and Boris dined casually, Revy poked distractedly at the food in front of her while a cup of coffee was turning lukewarm beside her. Rock grabbed the cup while signalling for another. The double caffeine blast cleared the cobwebs from his head.

"Status." Balalaika snapped as he sat.

"I've learned as much as I'm going to from the files we were given."

Mikhail and Vassily had been waiting at the hotel on their arrival. Mikhail had handed over the cash records without comment while Vassily did a silent imitation of an aggrieved man he obviously saw the outsiders as an imposition but had heard enough about Balalaika that he was wisely keeping his opinions to himself.

Both men were adamant about not discussing the death of the Chechen. They both maintained that the hotel was not secure but assured Balalaika that she would have all her answers in the morning.

Balalaika scowled, "Then we will learn what we can during our morning meeting then I think Mikhail and Vassily should accompany us out to the Zeleska this afternoon."

Revy snickered. "Are you kidding me?" it's practically the fucking morning who talks business this early?" she paused and looked at Rock scathingly as if the timing was his idea. "I mean who other then Mister White Collar here?"

"I have to admit some surprise myself but Mikhail was adamant and got very agitated when I wanted a meeting time at a more reasonable hour. They do business in the light of day here in Gotham."

Rock ordered a simple breakfast and replaced Revy's lukewarm coffee with a hot one that she drank about as enthusiastically as she had the first.

Finally at a signal from one of the hotel employees they left the table heading upstairs to a small meeting room. Arrayed around the small table were various men while standing in positions of security were hard looking brutes, obviously bodyguards. Two Russian men who Rock surmised were Vassily and Mikhail, the current heads of the local branch of the Russian mob.

Across from them was a weedy looking Oriental in a cheap crimson suit. Revy started briefly upon seeing him but he seemed to not recognize her. Beside the Oriental was a Japanese man who nodded at Rock.

Beside them was stout, beak nosed man in an expensive suit. He scanned the room from behind an old fashioned monocle. He had an unlit cigarette in a holder as antique looking as his monocle. Behind him were two masked women the masks designed to simulate the facial painting of geisha's. The effect offset the traditional robes each wore that did little to disguise the red bodysuits both had underneath. It was painfully obvious that if trouble started these two would deal with it quickly, efficiently and with a maximum of bloodshed. Rock turned to his partner to see if she had noticed but her attention was not on the women but on the fat man's umbrella. She was nervously fingering her Berettas. Rock looked again at the umbrella slung casually over one fat arm. It took him longer with his untrained eye but he eventually saw it, the fat man was carrying a heavily modified umbrella that had been turned into a deadly weapon. The ornate handle was actually a brass knuckle but it was the main body that had drawn Revy's attention. The body of the umbrella bore an eerie resemblance to the weapon wielded by the Lovelace Maid, Roberta. It would no doubt be as effective, especially given the short range and enclosed nature of the room.

"Let's make this quick." Red Suit snapped.

"We can still be polite," Mikhail, said politely, "This charmer is Tommy Lao. He speaks for many of the Triad gangs and their bosses."

"What happened to Uncle Donny?" Revy asked pointedly

"Retired he's got stomach cancer bad." Mikhail answered

Tommy was finally looking right at her and Revy saw the flash of recognition that she had wanted to avoid but knew was coming. He knew her; maybe not personally she kind of recalled seeing him. Maybe a hanger on at the fringes he had obviously worked his way up the chain since her day.

"Next to him is Mister Hirotora." The man nodded at them

"An honour," Hirotora said, "I understand I owe a debt of gratitude to you Miss, My Family suffered greatly at the hands of those you dealt with during your sojourn in Tokyo."

"Your thanks would be better directed at my interpreter." She gestured to Rock, "It was his advice to neutralize that particular threat."

"Then I owe you a debt Mister..."

"Okajima?"

Hirotora directed a calculating look at Rock, "Okajima, a name I shall make note of for the future."

"And finally there is…"

"Never mind that," Vassily snapped, "She couldn't care less. We all know why she is here let's just make this quick. I'm still not sure this place is secure against ...prying ears."

"Fine," Mikhail sighed and went on," I know things have been tense these last few months but we are not making a move as some of you might have heard Hotel Moscow isn't here for anything or anyone except to observe and report on how my assumption of control following the demise of my predecessor."

A harsh bark of laughter came from the stout man. The others in the room seemed uneasy yet they did nothing as his loud raucous laughter rocked his bulbous body. "Don't mind me, I'm finding this very entertaining." he waved for them to continue.

Mikhail nodded and continued "The bosses have concerns about the daily expenses you know what we make versus what we kickback."

"Bat problems." Hirotora sneered,

"We all have Bat Problems," Mikhail said "We all know operating in Gotham City has … unique challenges you don't get anywhere else."

"Is it the police?"

"Yes and no," Mikhail said hesitantly, "Commissioner James Gordon and Maggie Sawyer's Major Crimes Unit is surprisingly competent and to go from dealing with police who would compete to sell themselves to you to police who won't take a lollipop if they don't know where it came from has been something of a shift."

Balalaika nodded and glanced at Rock who wrote down the names James Gordon and Maggie Sawyer on a small note pad. "Continue," she said politely.

There have been other setbacks..." Mikhail began but was cut off by more raucous laughter from the stout man this time he didn't stop laughing and had to wipe tears of mirth from his eyes. "It's like Chekov except lacking all the wit and genius."

Vassily growled at him "Quiet Bird Man you are only here out of courtesy mind your place."

". And might I ask who he is?"

"He's a freak like all the others."

"Vassily!"

"What, it's bad enough we are putting up with the Mad Russian. Why should I deal with The Penguin as well?"

The fat man stopped laughing; indeed he now had an icy look in his eyes. "A penguin is a bird which does not fly," he lectured, "I am a man. I have a name. It is Cobblepot, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot."

Rock wrote down the man's name while Balalaika gave him a forced smile "Mister Cobblepot I'm unclear what role you play in these proceedings."

"If our African-American compatriots were here they would say I'm the king with the bling. When these geniuses shoot guns, they're my guns. The bullets, mine too. The goodies they steal - fenced by me. The money laundered by me. I even get them out of jail and give some of their more competent membership legitimate employment. In short babe, I'm The Guy. You want to commit a crime in Gotham City you'll deal with me at some point, so it might as well be today."

"Pen…I mean Mister Cobblepot has been kind enough to finance several of our operations and he takes a cut ...a substantial cut actually, of any goods we ship out. Though truth be told he's rather good at what he does."

Vassily snorted with disgust, "He's just like the rest of the freak parade, no better then The Bat or the Clown or the Cat, he's as bad as that freakish little man who thinks his ventriloquists dummy is real. "

"Now is that any way to talk about poor Arnold." Cobblepot sighed, "Considering if he got it into his damaged little head he could run a two bit thug like you out of business …and by business I'm being generous since that Cat you are so dismissive of has managed to keep you out of The East End effectively ending your interest in the flesh trade.

"Why penguin if I can ask?" Balalaika's tone made it plain she wanted to get the meeting back on track.

"Blame my sartorial tastes and memorable visage amongst other reasons. Though Vassily would do well to remember that penguins are masters of their environment and that environment kills the weak and the stupid."

Vassily looked like he was ready to take a run at Cobblepot but the two women at Cobblepot's side flexed their hands causing long claws to slid into view. Rock could tell from where he was each one was razor sharp.

"Now, now Vassily, we wouldn't want the charming Miss Balalaika's first day in Gotham to be memorable for the sight of Russian guts painted across every wall of this room." Cobblepot smiled with evil mirth, "not that its any secret that she'll likely be spilling a little motherland blood if you stumblebums can't explain why a certain urban legend has been costing everyone at this table a fortune in lost revenue."

Vassily and Mikhail looked back at Balalaika with agitation plain on their faces and Rock realized they had indeed been holding back.

"Oh this is too rich." Cobblepot laughed harder still, "you mean you still havent told her or anyone else about ..." he shook with laughter.

"Tell us what?"

"Honestly sweetheart, allow me, the reason Mikhail and Vass-y look like their worried your going to kill them here and now is because you might. You see the reason they are in trouble is because of The Bat."

"The what...The Bat?"

"A man dressed as a bat which is why the newspapers call him Batman and yes the major crime bosses of the city have been pretty effectively corralled by a guy in a Halloween costume."

Revy looked at the reddened faces around the room. "You've got to be kidding me?" She cried out.

"No we are not kidding you my tiny little Twinkie. This batman problem has pretty much screwed everyone in the room. Why do you think we meet during the day and only set the meeting at the last minute? We do it this way because that's the only way we can talk without little Bat Ears listening and if you don't want to take him seriously just take this seriously." Cobblepot pulled a folded newspaper from his pocket, which he tossed on the table. "Today's early edition boys read it and weep. The Bat was busy last night."

Boris picked up the page and opened out to reveal a picture of several men in custody. A sidebar article also mentioned the recent setbacks of the Moroni crime Family this article was accompanied by a file photo of silvered hard man in his late forties."

Hirotora looked at the larger photo, "Where these men not in your employ at the time Cobblepot"

"Details, details, you think UN firearms restrictions get violated on their own. You need someone to shop the stuff and The Police and the Bat are looking at me way too much for me to do it on my own."

"This Bat-man, he did this?"

Cobblepot nodded, and then pointed to the other photo, "The silver fox is Boss Moroni, which is why the room is lacking the delightful aroma of cheap Italian cologne. Moroni was called back home to Sicily. The bosses there are as mystified by the thrashing our revenues have taken as your people."

"What about you?"

"What about me. I've lost potentially thousands to The Bat. But unlike these guys however, I got enough legit business to see me though. Crime is really more of a hobby for me. I think of it more as pleasant means to while away a few hours while making use of my embarrassingly capable mind."

Mikhail gave a sarcastic laugh, "Plus he is the only one still able to consistently get things into and out of the city which he charges huge money for."

"From each according to their ability to each according to their need." Cobblepot quoted, "and I really need to get paid for my work."

"Sorry Big Sis but why don't you just track this Batman down and kill him if he's that much of a problem."

"We've tried that," Vassily complained, "no one knows who he is or where he comes from."

"Then you find his family or friends. He's got to have allies if he's screwing with this many people. You lean on them till someone squeals there is always someone who will squeal."

Cobblepot snorted, "The Joker tried that it didn't end well."

The Joker?"

"That would be the Clown," Mikhail explained, "turned out to be as bad as The Bat and he brought all kinds of heat on us."

Revy no longer even tried hiding the unbelieving look on her face. "OK you are telling me that your solution for stomping the man who has been putting you out of business was to hire a clown." she asked

"Trust me sweetie," Cobblepot snapped, "The Joker is many things including sadistic, violent, and dangerously creative; funny however is not the trait that springs most readily to mind."

Hirotora chimed in, "with all the mayhem and chaos he unleashed on this city I'd compare him to the old stories of demons roaming the earth plaguing mankind."

"What the fuck is wrong with you idiots?"

"Two Hands…" Balalaika snapped.

"C'mon Big Sis you must be thinking it even if you're too proper to say it. I mean, if this was Roanapur…"

"It isn't. " Balalaika hissed with a cold finality that quieted Revy. "I see there is much I have to learn. Gentlemen if you will excuse me I would like to return to my suite Mikhail there are a few details I'd like you to go over again if you would be so kind. You can provide the details to Boris.

Rock caught Balalaika's eye and she motioned him outside. He grabbed Revy and dragged her out in to the hallway where she fumed about how idiotic everyone was while chain smoking.

Tommy Lao came past them stopping as he got close.

"I didn't believe it when Uncle Donny said you of all people had come back. I thought his mind was going but it really is you Rebecca."

"Yeah it's me alright in the flesh and all that creepy shit now fuck off I don't answer to triad lap dogs anymore."

"That's not what I hear. I hear you're Boss Chang's pet. I guess he keeps you around for the jobs he doesn't want to waste on real pros."

Revy snorted, "You aren't talking about guys like chuckles you got behind you there?" she snapped pointing at the burly bodyguard behind him.

Rock found the guy a little intimidating, but then that was no doubt the point. "Revy, I'm sure the Miss Balalaika is ready for us. Let's just go back inside." He said gently pulling at her arm.

Revy shook him off, "Hey mouthpiece, Tommy-boy and I are talking here don't be rude." She turned back to Tommy stepping right up into his face, "Now where were we …OH yeah, he was just about to tell all how a little step and fetch bitch managed to become top dog."

"The last big boss was done in on a RICOH beef he got greedy besides the big boys weren't too happy that you walked away Scot-free after bringing hell down in our yard.

"You mean when I cut down a ton of your guys like they were fucking wheat." Revy said with feral grin in place.

The big man stepped forward. Revy was reaching for her weapons when a loud clearing of the throat brought all action to a halt. It was Cobblepot. Behind him was one of his geisha…she was flexing her fingers causing the finger blades to make rasping sounds as the razor sharp edges slid across each other.

"Ah Thomas my lad aren't we playing a little rough today?"

"Cobblepot this is none of your concern you should…"

"Never you mind about what I should be doing lets concentrate on what you should be doing which is recalling that young Peri has in unwavering attachment to things of home. She has taken quite the shine to young Mister Okajima I think she might take an attack on him or his lovely bodyguard as reason to pull your heart from your chest as easily as she got your pocketbook."

"My pocketbook what are you..." The rest was lost as Tommy realized that the kunoichi was indeed holding his wallet in one razor fingered claw.

"I'll take care of The Penguin Mister Lao." The bodyguard growled moving toward the fat man who sighed wearily.

"If I've said this once I've side it a thousand times…" ripping the brass-knuckle handle from the umbrella his hand lashed out. He rammed his fist into the big man's gut. "My name is not Penguin." The fat man screamed punctuating his words with fierce blows to the bodyguard's face and stomach.

The man fell to his knees. Cobblepot stepped back and the man rose up again seemingly ready to charge, which was when the other geisha appeared. Her claw-like hand sliding around his throat, the intent was crystal clear. The man's next offensive move would result in his impromptu decapitation.

Cobblepot smiled "Ahh Geri, all done powdering your nose. What fortunate timing." He jabbed the umbrella point against the man's temple. Rock heard the distinctive and ominous click of a gun being primed. Obviously there really was a weapon built into his umbrella and it was now ready to fire. "What's my name?" The fat man hissed.

"Cobblepot!" the big man hissed out.

"Say it again -- all three names this time, so I know you won't forget"

"Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot."

"You see Thomas old man; any beast of burden can be taught. You just have to establish dominance."

"You wouldn't dare touch me Cobblepot."

"…But I would."Balalaika replied. She had entered the hallway; she radiated menace like heat and light from a star. "I've got weapons, men and I assure you Lao you aren't nearly as intimidating as you think you are. If you have a problem with my people ...any of my people, then you have a problem with me and you DON'T want to have a problem with me."

"Now I think you were leaving." Cobblepot snickered.

"Yeah I guess we were at that." Tommy Lao turned and quickly walked away.

Once the man was gone Cobblepot turned to Revy and Rock. "...And the plot thickens, here I'm thinking you Roanapur types are out of town rubes and suddenly we find a delightful little rapscallion is actually Gotham born and bred, curiouser and curiouser. I thought this was going to all boring all the time but you Roanapur types really know how to spice up a party don't you? You should swing by The Iceberg tonight I'm having a little thing just a few of the better class and enough booze to ensure they're doing things I can sell pictures of the tabloid rags.

"Sounds like fun but the boss is here on business." Revy said.

"Oh I think there will be plenty of chances to do business; Social events are some of the only places left where we can have the occasional private chat. Tell you what I'll have the invites sent over to your hotel I would advise attendance, as Geri and Peri get so sulky when they think their friendship is being spurned. " He turned to his assistants who were looking at Revy and Rock. Unreadable as their faces were under the geisha masks they looked like predators waiting for the signal to pounce. "Geri, Peri, let us away, I'm sure the younglings will need to freshen a little before this evening's festivities."

Once the Penguin was gone the Mob Mistress gave Revy a baleful look. She insisted on not speaking until they reached the hotel suite. "Just what do you think you were doing Two Hands?"

"C'mon sis you were thinking the same as I was "

"You are a hired gun; an extra pair of hands and your place isn't to speak up during those kinds of meetings. That kind of insolence reflects on me, right now they should be running scared wondering how I will react to the nonsense they've placed in front of me that's how I want them but now..."

"Some clown in a costume showed up in Roanapur and screwed with you or Chang, how fast would he be floating in the bay or be on Sawyer's table, be honest "

"They'd be found as quickly as possible and killed even faster. My God, what kind of place is this and these people, are there any professionals in the whole bunch of them." Balalaika dropped her face into her hands messaging her temples "Alright Okajima give me good news tell me you have something?"

Rock nodded "Mikhail and Vassily aren't being straight with us one or both of them are lying though I'm pretty sure that each has their own reasons. For obvious reasons we might want to figure out why Mikhail is lying to us since it's his figures I'm going over and if those are screwed then this whole enterprise is a waste of our time. "

"What about this BATMAN nonsense?"

"Definitely hiding something and I'm not talking about the whole costumed crime fighter thing that's embarrassing but they hardly strike me as idiots. This guy must have something going for him."

"Interesting, go on."

"Cobblepot is dangerous."

Revy nodded, "Keep his umbrella on a tight leash and the only thing you really got to worry about are the two geisha's."

"Umbrella?"

Boris nodded, "I saw it as well. It's a heavily modified and powerful shotgun."

"Just like the one that crazy fucked-up maid uses and you should have seen him outside the room with Tommy Lao's body guard. He doesn't need the geisha to do his fighting for him he just likes the wow factor."

"That one is all about appearances." Boris snorted with derision.

There was a knock at the door and Boris carefully opened it to admit a young looking bellhop who waited respectfully until Balalaika acknowledged him she in turn made him wait just long enough that she could carefully examine him before sighing contentedly

"A man in the lobby left this for you ma'am." The bellboy made a note appear; pulling it from the air as if by magic, and Balalaika clapped delightedly as if it were a novel trick.

She looked at Boris who didn't need to be told to provide his wallet from which his commander pulled a hundred dollar bill which she gave to the young man. "You let me know if he or anyone else returns or loiters and there's another hundred for you. Spread the news to your friends, the ones you can trust "

The bellhop nodded excitedly and was running off when Balalaika smiled at him "Be a dear, please disable the smoke alarms in this room."

"I'm not supposed to do that, they'll freak out if anyone finds out."

"You can count on my discretion and you'll find me ...very appreciative."

The young man flushed at her word and scrambled up to the ceiling in a moment the alarm cover was off and the battery snug in the young boys pocket Balalaika slipped another fifty dollars in his pocket before he ran off.

"One day you gotta show me how you do that."

Balalaika looked at her and snickered "It took a lifetime to learn how to act like a lady and another lifetime to learn how to use it to maximum advantage I doubt either of us will be alive long enough to teach you anything you would actually be able to use. Besides you are dangerous enough on your own Two Hands." she looked at the note, "it would appear that our Mister Cobblepot wants our company we are being invited to a soiree at his club the Iceberg Lounge, some kind of charity event"

"He spoke to us about it." Rock reported, "He's expecting us."

"Such a place would be a logistical nightmare for security." Boris complained, "What could he be thinking of."

"Tell the men they have the evening to themselves but that they are to maintain a state of readiness. We will beard the lion in his den. Or I suppose I should say the Bird in his cage. I hope you clean up well Two hands

"A Party, now I know you're screwing with me." Revy snapped, "Come on Sis you aren't seriously planning on dragging us down there?"

"You wanted to learn how to be a lady well it all starts with the right outfit." Balalaika smiled with wolfish glee.

***

Boris spent the rest of the day rustling up information about everyone they could it took a few hours but eventually he had names and info about many at the table

"Cobblepot's family was is old money the thing with the umbrella was stared by his mother Cobblepot's legitimate wealth is average his contacts as far as international smuggling and arms shipping are astounding. Two Hands was right about the umbrella he's known for carrying a wide variety of weapons and equipment built in to them "

"What about Mikhail and his junior? "

"Promoted themselves following the death of the Chechen "

"Who's that?" Rock asked.

"My Gotham city counterpart until Mikhail took over." Balalaika explained. "Have you learned who might have killed the Chechen?"

Boris nodded, "Mikhail claims to have witnessed it. He was a victim of this Joker by the way I have video of something you might want to see."

He slipped a disk into the televisions built in player. The picture had the grainy look of security video while the audio was hallow sounding. A date tag ticking away in the screen corner told them it had been shot some time ago. They watched as a wild green haired figure that did indeed look like a psychotic clown broke into a fancy dress party with a group of thugs.

Revy at first was dismissive but as she watched she began excitedly commenting on the action "Look at that crowd control, total eye contact with everyone in the room he knows his stuff." she said as they watched the Joker stroll through the crowd inquiring after someone named Dent.

"He's just a bully." Rock snapped when an old man spoke up and Joker began menacing him

"On the contrary, " Boris said in the tone of a teacher instructing a particularly dim student, "you have to contain such outburst quickly or others gain false bravado and you are forced to resort to harsher methods to reestablish control." clearly he knew his business as a young woman had spoken up and was now the focus of The Joker's attention. He was menacing her with a knife.

Then The Bat had shown up. The Clown and his thugs wore quickly thrown in disarray. The man who did indeed dress like a bat and moved with terrifying speed to subdue the joker's gang. Finally after tense standoff the joker had tossed the young woman out the window and batman had leaped after her. The joker fled and the video continued for a short while before cutting off.

"I can't believe it, a guy in bat costume and he looks like he could actually be trouble I mean that was what five six guys and he took them all out in like ...that" Revy snapped her fingers

"Comrade Sergeant see what else you can find me with this man or any of the rest of the freaks as Vassily called them I want to know what I'm up against.

"You kidding right, are we really taking this seriously?"

"They take it seriously Revy so for now we have to as well at lest till I know how to deal wit this sort of thing."

Boris looked through the file he had assembled. "His tactics remind me of the rebel forces we used to fight. Hit and run, striking from the shadows and hiding often among the people, for all that we know that bellhop could have been an agent of this bat. That was how they used to do it."

Balalaika sighed with sad nostalgia, "Let us hope that the resemblance of method is all we have to deal with I would hate to have to deal with grandma strapping bombs to herself like back then it was ...depressing."

"Ma'am can I ask you something? I'm looking at the books and there is No reason for the fall off of profit. I mean on paper the business is taking a hit that is plain but ... "

"Speak up Rock. "Balalaika snapped.

"Something is out of whack. Profit margins are like water with everybody in boats sitting on top everyone's pain and pleasure should be reflected by what's going on The Russian's profit fall is sharper ….a little too sharp if you get my drift. Businesses do badly but they don't do this badly not if they want to stay in business."

"It seems that This Cobblepot has some means of compelling Mikhail's co-operation. What do you suppose that means Comrade Sergeant?"

"Someone's skimming my lord kumbya." Revy sang happily. Boris nodded gravely.

Rock shook his head, "Mikhail doesn't seem the type." he said thoughtfully.

"The ones who do it and get away with it do so because they don't seem the type. Tell Mikhail I'd like to talk to him in the morning. We'll take him out the Zeleska I can get my answers out beyond the two hundred mile limit where we need not worry about Gotham Police and this bothersome Bat. "

"What happens then?" Rock asked nervously.

Balalaika looked at Rock with cold eyes but it was Revy who answered for her "Relax white collar if he was stealing its his fault for screwing up not yours for finding it out

"But still…"

"What happens on the Zeleska stays on the Zeleska get me?"

Rock nodded sadly it was not the first time his actions had lead to the death of others and he doubted that track record was going to improve as long as he lived in Roanapur and remained with these people, esepcially Revy.

***

Shortly afterward the hotel provided a tailor who measured all four of them and came back hours later with tuxedos for Rock and Boris a long evening gown in crushed black velvet for Balalaika and a standard issue little black dress Revy for some reason gravitated to the thing after she saw the red feather sewn across the front. Its long sleeves coincidentally could hide a pair of quick draw holsters. Since she couldn't carry her custom Berettas she went with twined Walther PPKS that could be concealed under the puffy sleeves. The whole outfit had a kind of Gothic look to it prompting Rock to make a joke about her spending too much time with Sawyer the Cleaner. That got Revy growling threats to his life and safety for the rest of the afternoon while the outfits were being modified.

* * *

-- to be continued --


	3. Chapter 3

AN- I want to thank those who have reviewed thus far. A little more action this chapter is your reward for sitting though last chapter's chatty tone.

* * *

THE GREEN...

I am in The Green. It is warm and safe in The Green.

There is no pain in the green. No worries about kids, money or anything else. There is only her. She waits for me in The Green whispering promises of pleasure, of fun and most importantly her love. She will love me like nobody else loves me. I know that now. That sorry excuse for a woman who calls herself my wife, those bratty kids, they don't love me. Not like she loves me.

She asks only for my love what more could a man want. All the love and pleasure, all she asks in return is that you love her back, love her enough to always want to be in The Green.

She called on me today asking me to play a harmless little joke on the other officers. God how I hate them anyway, the vicious bastards they don't care about me not like she does.

It took some doing though, First, getting into the evidence lockup. Then, entering the right code to unseal the locked containers then, getting some of the tiny vials with their glowing green liquid. Fragile little things, one broke as I was pulling it free. "Keep going," She whispered, "You'll be fine for a few minutes at least." she promised as I spoke to her over the cell phone.

It went like clockwork until I ran into Harvey Bullock. That fat bastard is the worst of the lot. I was hoping he would be part of the prank but he had to leave. Headed to see his bookie no doubt or maybe the girl he thinks nobody knows about.

I was sweating and shaking by the time I arrived in the squad room. I am nervous but memories of The Green make me calm. Memory of her makes me calm.

I look around the room. I see faces, so many faces. I hear her voice over the cell phone. Her voice is urgent and commanding, she's reminding me that they are always making fun of me, always tricking. None of them like me, none of them love me, only she loves and cares about me.

I crack the first vial drop a second and third and crush them under my heel. My shaking is worse my fumbling fingers drop the last two vials I manage to grab one and crush it while the other rolls under a desk slipping away.

I hear her voice. She loves me, I can see The Green I can see it so clear now. I sink into the deep soft warmth of The Green. It was so easy and so simple. I should have done this a long time ago. My sweet, my love, my Ivy I did want you asked.

She tells me she knows and as the screams from the other officers' echo around me she whispers that I will be in The Green with her. I can feel it, I'm in The Green its too bad I can't enjoy the prank I've played but who cares, the job is done and I'm in the green I can feel my heart. It is beating so very slowly now but I'm in the green it doesn't matter everything is growing dark and I think I can hear her coming, coming to me at last Ivy my lovely ivy.

I did what you asked. Please why does it hurt so much? My chest, my body it hurts so much. You said there wouldn't be any pain in The Green.

I hear her voice again "Poor stupid boy, it hurts because you're dying. That's what happens when you get a high dose of a virulent bio-agent. You die, and I'm thinking it will be pretty painful."

Too late I realize this wasn't some harmless prank. I just unleashed something dangerous in the squad room over half the force is in here with me. Oh god what have I done.

Only at the end, do I realize there is no green only grey and black

* * *

The wise man never wonders what mad men dream of. This was especially true for The Joker.

He had a smile on his face when he woke; of course The Joker always had a smile on his face. A permanent leer formed by the ear-to-ear scars that gave him a grotesque grin. He woke up to find there were two problems with his world.

One was the trussed up man on the floor, in and of itself only an issue because he did not recall leaving a man tied up on the floor before going to bed. He liked to think that was something he would have wanted to remember.

Then there was the cute girl in the dark combat bodysuit sitting on his bed looking at him with amusement.

"Since when did Arkham put in Room Service?" He asked with false whimsy.

"Now Joker, I've met Doctor Quinzell." His attractive intruder said with mirth, "If you aren't getting everything short of mints on the pillow; I'd be seriously surprised."

"Oh Harley? Cute kid, although I'm not so attached I don't have time to meet a hot al-Ghul. Thing is I thought Daddy was into cleansing the whole world. Aren't Arkham's psycho wards a little lowbrow for the lofty League of Shadows?"

"You heard of me and my father," Talia sighed, "how sweet, and here I thought you had no interests in anything that didn't involve killing The Batman."

"Why would I want to kill The Batman?" The Joker sounded genuinely hurt. "Batman completes me. The Starkey to my Hutch, the Teller to my Penn."

"The Holmes to your Moriarty ...yes I've heard about your odd fixation with The Dark Knight "

"Not that the verbal jousting isn't a high point of my short day but the tied up goon is throwing off my comic timing. Mind telling me who he is?"

"His name is Yuri, a low level soldier in the Russian Mafia ... a fact which seems not to have made the highlights of his HR file."

"So He's here to kill me?" Joker sighed, "and here I was thinking I'm such a popular guy."

"Your fan-girl Quinzell, she was little too proud of the security around here. I thought about it and did some checking. Turns out there are tiny gaps in security throughout the whole of the island. If you know where and when they are, you can literally walk out the front door and come back and no one would be the wiser. That's how Yuri here got into your cell and how I was able to intercept him."

"Gasp, note the look of shock and surprise on my face." Joker replied with bored detachment, "Lax security at Arkham Asylum. Surely you jest. So I'm wondering why The Demon's Head's little princess is interested keeping me alive."

"I'm not; I think the word would be a better place without you. If you killed the Chechen however, then Hotel Moscow's leader, Balalaika will be coming for you. He was apparently a friend of hers."

"So this Bally Matrix lady wants me dead for killing who now?"

"Khouzh-Ahmed Nukhaev, you would know him as..."

"The Chechen, oh yeah snappy dresser, ugly beard, kind of greedy. Why does she think I killed him?"

"That is one of many questions that I find myself asking?" Talia said thoughtfully, "though not the most important. You see Balalaika has a tendency to rely only on subordinates she can trust. With few exceptions, that means all her people are like her ex-military and have served with her at one point."

"So since Yuri here isn't a solder that means he's working for one of the Ivans... but not Hotel Moscow."

"She also has a noted habit of getting her hands dirty when it gets personal. That she would send another to kill someone who she blamed for the death of a personal friend …very out of character. So out of character I'd say she was not the agency behind the attempt."

Talia rose from the bed and headed for the door. "I'll leave Yuri here with you if you don't mind. Getting out of here is enough of a hassle without dragging a fat gangster behind me."

Talia slipped out the door leaving the Joker on his own with his tied up houseguest.

"Quite the girl," The Joker sighed, "Now what am I supposed to do with you?"

He raised his voice for the benefit of the watching tech on the other side of the camera. "Eddie, If you aren't too busy watching the female patients sleep I need you to call Harley I'm going for a quick outing."

He got out of bed and reached under the mattress to pull from it a straight razor. Tapping it thoughtfully against his cheek he stalked toward Yuri, "Now Yuri, you and I need to have a chat about your boss. We'll start with why he or she wants me dead and then we can move onto the fun part ... You telling me everything you know about this Balalaika."

* * *

Cobblepot's "little soiree" was apparently to be on of Gotham's social events. Paparazzi were out in force.

Balalaika stepped from the limo handing the male driver a hundred dollar bill. "We may not be staying long so stay in the area." She commanded

Dressed as elegantly as she was, The Russian Mob Boss was treated like a model on the catwalk as she strode past the flashing camera hounds as they screamed and scrambled for a better angle on Gotham's mysterious new Lady in crushed velvet who was off-setting her outfit with a mink shawl.

"I feel like an idiot." Revy muttered to Rock as they trailed after her.

As they were walking in a protester shrieking about fur being murder broke from the crowd with paint can in hand aiming for Balalaika's head.

Boris moved to protect his boss while Revy disengaged from Rock. With a flick of her wrists, she had her guns in hand. She shot the paint can in the air deflecting its pathway. As the can arced high above the crowd's heads Revy unleashed still more gunfire that forced the can higher and higher. Rock noticed she was tracking the protester with her other gun.

"Revy!" Rock screamed in warning, drawing her attention and stopping her gun's lethal trajectory.

The entire world went silent with the only sound being a loud clatter as the bullet-riddled can crashed to the ground.

Suddenly the paparazzi who had been ignoring her began demented picture taking Balalaika reached out and grabbed both Rock and Revy steering them none too gently inside where a older man with a bushy moustache glanced at Revy with a severe look.

"Gotham's carry and conceal laws are pretty clear young lady." The man snapped with a severe and disapproving look on his face. Revy found the man strangely familiar.

"…As are your rules about diplomatic immunity. My security staff knows their business Mister..." she let the pause hang forcing the other man to fill the blank in the conversation.

"Gordon James Gordon," The man answered, "… and it's Police Commissioner and you are...?"

"Vladalina I'm a visitor to your lovely city. The competence if you and your police force have been relayed to me Commissioner. Indeed so glowing are the reports I find the attack of a deranged fur activist something of a surprise."

"So am I, No one usually wastes an appearance in real fur on a Cobblepot party. His social gatherings are deemed B-list events. I was under the impression the real stuff was for a-list parties. The young lady is quite skilled with a firearm. I'm thinking that there should be paperwork with the young lady's name and face telling me she is in my town carrying weapons I don't recall seeing that paperwork."

Balalaika smiled indulgently, "I'm sure busy Police Commissioners have better things to do then deal with such trivial matters such as gun licensing paperwork that was filed weeks ago. "

"Well I'll be checking for it. In the meantime, could the young lady refrain from going Annie Oakley on my streets?"

"I endeavour to restrain her." Balalaika smiled thinly as she pulled them inside. Whatever she was going to say to Revy upon their entering the room was swallowed by their amazement.

The room's fashionable interior was modeled on an Antarctic landscape with an icy mountainous spire reaching toward the glass ceiling two stories above them. Rock was immediately dispatched to the bar to get Revy drinks. As he stood next to the bar, its icy surface reflected an art deco look and design. Orchids in blue and white sat on the bar giving the room a kind of frozen jungle feel. Not that Rock could tell if they smelt good his nose was still stuffy and he snatched a few napkins to stifle several sneezes. He glanced round and saw still more orchids and several of the patrons where looking at them, marveling at their rich colour. He was annoyed again at the fact he couldn't smell them as everyone in the room seemed to be luxuriating in their scent.

"It's a world away from that cubical you called home isn't it boy?" Someone whispered behind him.

Rock turned his head and saw the short stocky Cobblepot had moved in behind Rock with surprising grace. Behind the crime boss were Geri and Peri who regarded Rock with silent menace. They suddenly bowed in greeting. Their movements were perfectly in unison like clockwork. Rock responded in kind almost automatically.

"The Ladies are so happy you decided to join us Okajima." The fat man said with a sly grin.

"How did you know I was a..."

"Cube monkey..." Cobblepot sneered, "Oh come now Junior, surely you can't think you can just hang with the big dogs and the stench of civilian isn't going to still roll off you like cheap cologne."

"It's been a while..."

"You used to be like them but that's different now isn't it?"

"The orchids are a nice touch Mister Cobblepot "Rock said, changing the topic.

"All part of this evening's entertainment.... I like the way you say that -- Mister Cobblepot -- you're a survivor Okajima I can tell. And look where it's brought you. You could go further you know if you learn to seize opportunity when it appears."

"What do you mean Mister Cobblepot?"

"I have a proposal for your boss. I want her help with a ... little project. I think she'll want to get involved. But I'm betting it will be more tempting coming from you."

We are aware of your deal with Mister Volchek. Besides, it goes badly for me when I forget my place with Miss Balalaika. Besides I'm not the one you have to convince that would be Mister Boris."

"A woman I can respect. As for the Volchek the Vole, he's old news. You and your boss are the beginning of a bright new future. Why don't you stay for the floorshow? Once you've met my partner I'm thinking your going to see things my way."

The Iceberg in the center brightened while the music swelled. Cobblepot hurried toward the rapidly forming stage and struggled up onto it umbrella clutched in hand.

"Congratulations are in order my fine friends, they are in order. You are the lucky, lucky few who will be the latest to see my philanthropic largess. The orchids you see around you have been donated by the Earth First Society, an organization whose cause I have chosen to make my own. Their representative is here tonight and I would be remiss if I denied my fellow revelers one more minute of her seductive beauty or her important passionate message, I give you Doctor Pamela Lillian Isley."

Into the spotlight stepped a tall athletic red head whose flowing hair cascaded down around her oval face and aquiline features to pool on her pale skinned shoulders an emerald green gown encasing and yet displaying just a hint of ghost pale skin. The effect was breathtaking to judge by the wild swelling of applause as most of the men and quite a few women surged forward to show their appreciation for.... Rock was not sure what. She was attractive there was no denying this but her beauty, amazing as it was, was lost on him.

"Am I so stuck on Revy," he thought to himself "that I can't get excited for any female that isn't wearing Daisy Dukes and wielding pistols?"

"Thank you all for your generosity of applause," Isley said with a graceful smile in place, "I hope that will turn in to generosity of a fiscal nature later on. Earth First is looking for support but far from picking your pockets and expecting nothing in return we are hoping to give back something to you all. Passing among you are volunteers distributing body spray, perfume and bath gel all chemical safe and animal cruelty free. These products are derived from plant-based oils that occur in nature. Cheap to make, cheap to produce, these could revolutionize the aesthetics industry as we know it. Their environmentally sound basis makes them the kind of investment that the Taxman loves to reward."

Rock watched as tall models crept around the room offering bottles of gel and spraying men and women with sample cans of both perfume and cologne

Rock slipped back to the group, handing Revy an icy drink which she downed with enthusiasm "This is some nice hooch." She said appreciatively before sniffing in annoyance as some rich bitch named Bunny Something-or-other, got sprayed with what she obviously felt was a luxurious scent to judge by the almost orgasmic moans she made.

"That stuff is for bathing-in?" Revy growled, "It makes my mouth taste like battery acid."

"I wouldn't know. I still can't smell because of my cold." Rock complained,

"We saw you speaking with Cobblepot," Balalaika asked, "what did he want?"

"He has a proposal. He won't say what it is except that it's tied in with the entertainment for the evening."

They were brainstorming when Revy was bumped into by a stumbling trio including a well-dressed man and in an expensive tux accompanied by two gorgeous women whose physical resemblance marked them as sisters. He apologized while the women giggled with naughty glee.

"Sorry for bumping into you" he slurred, "Hey I know you. You're Calamity Jane. Here I am with two hot babes and all that page six will be talking about is how you almost ventilated a fur protester." Revy growled in frustration. Rock secretly elbowed her to remind her not to lose her temper. She settled for grinding her teeth and cursing under her breath.

"Amusing and you are?" Balalaika asked thinly

"Bruce Wayne ...and you're really, really tall."

"Oh wow Annie Leibovitz would go insane to shoot you." One of the sisters sighed, "That face is so amazing."

Balalaika barely disguised her annoyance "Indeed perhaps white phosphorus scarring will become the next big fashion statement."

"Really, who did that," One of the girls asked, "I heard there was this doctor in Star City…"

Wayne grimaced at her words, "white phosphorus is an incendiary munitions girls." Wayne explained, "I think our guest is having fun with you."

"Really, you were in the war that is so butch." Wayne's date whispered.

The willowy Pamela joined them. Up close it was easy to see that she a classic beauty with green eyes offsetting her brightly coloured hair. She smiled at Wayne.

"Bruce Wayne, it is an honour I was a recipient of the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation Grant it really helped out with my post graduate work. "

"Really you got Wayne Foundation support that's great. My Mother and Father were both staunch environmentalists...even from an early age I was learning how to live green I've tried to follow their example. I'm not always as successful as them but...."

"You do the best you can I'm sure." Pamela stepped forward and took Wayne's face in her hands. "You've had such an effect on my life, I've been thinking about this moment since I was a little girl." She leaned in and kissed Wayne on the cheek close to his mouth with a few photographers circulating snapped a few pictures of the kiss as she stepped back one photographer who had been looking the other way asked for a repeat and Pamela politely declined. "I wouldn't want to send the wrong message. My admiration for Mr. Wayne is strictly professional ladies."

Rock felt a stinging pain of an elbow in his side a quick check showing Revy glancing away innocently.

Rock got the message. Turning to the seething Mob Boss he said, "Miss, the band is starting the next song and Revy doesn't dance would you care to?"

Balalaika looked at him a moment before nodding crisply "That should be fine, lead the way Rock."

The two headed toward the dance floor as perfume spraying models approached Wayne and his dates. Wayne seemed reluctant to get sprayed but his dates were enjoying it.

The music started and Rock and Balalaika began waltzing in time. Balalaika was hissing with rage cursing in Russian English, even, surprisingly, Cantonese. Apparently she and Boss Chang had exchanged more then just heated looks and gunfire during their frequent meetings. Rock tried to ignore the iron grip the woman maintained on him as she continued to curse the stupidity and vacuous nature of Americans.

"I was worried about keeping Revy out of trouble but you looked like you were going to lose it Ma'am."

"Indeed thank you for the timely rescue or more accurately thank Two Hands. In truth to maintain your cover you should be trying to get Wayne's ear."

"Wayne is a notorious party circuit hound. " Rock looked around, "Actually I'm wondering where Mr. Boris is I haven't seen him for a while."

Balalaika's sharp eyes swept the room, "There he is speaking with Cobblepot and Miss Isley he looks like he is enjoying himself."

"Want to dance over to them? The most you might have to put up with is Cobblepot."

"That man's odious presence is hardly an improvement on the company of a pair of petty whores trying to bed themselves a sugar daddy."

Rock sighed, "Bruce Wayne has a lot of sugar." he pointed out. "Wayne Technologies or Wayne Tech accounts for an astonishing amount of his personal wealth and he holds the patents on some of the most cutting edge technology in the world. The shipment of his goods, both gray and black market, accounted for the about -- forty percent of the smuggling profit in Roanapur."

The two eased over to the small group and Cobblepot caught sight of them as they approached.

"Balalaika," Boris called out as they approached, "Mister Cobblepot was just introducing me to Miss Pamela she is an expert on botany and bio chemistry she especially bioengineered and supplied these orchids."

"Pamela Isley my friends call me Pam." She said with a seductive smile.

"Indeed, my congratulations my dear," Balalaika said politely, "the plants are quite eye catching."

"Plants are an invaluable resource so important to the well being of the world."

"Cobblepot is hoping to aid Pamela and he wanted our assistance."

"I'm not really the earth first type Comrade Sergeant. I find most environmentalists are unrealistic dreamers. Their passion for their cause while laudable is rooted in the naive assumptions that man must live in harmony with his environment."

Pamela smiled widely "so many people aren't at first..."

"No offence Miss Isley but the essence of nature is conflict. Every living thing fights to survive and proves it worth by doing so. War is a truer expression of the ideal state of the world then any tree hugging idealism. The World has proven it is a most formidable foe when it desires to be "

Isley's eyes flashed "Give me some time with anyone and they soon understand the true wonder and importance of living and thinking green."

Rock noticed Balalaika's eyes were watering ferociously. "That's odd," she whined, "I don't usually have adverse reactions to flowers."

"...And this is Okajima her translator and negotiator for this trip " Boris introduced him excitedly Rock was surprised as in his experience Boris' entire life revolved around attending to his commander yet Balalaika was in obvious discomfort and yet Boris seemed oblivious.

Rock was reaching for Isley's hand when a feat of sneezing took him. He made apologies and headed for the bar, grabbing several napkins and clearing his nose. He saw Revy at the bar growling and secretly triggering the release on her wrist holsters so that the gun slipped into her hands only for her to slid it back and then trigger it again.

"So many people in this town need to die; it is not even funny."

"Where is Wayne?"

"Dancing with those wenches he was hanging with." Revy sneered.

Rock nodded to the bartender who smiled oddly at him. The man slid another two drinks down the bar in their direction.

A brunette in a from fitting sparkling black dress slid up to them as Revy downed both shots, taking Rock's right out of his hand.

One of the models was approaching Revy who didn't even hesitate to pop her gun out. "You spray me, you'll piss me off and there is no way you want to piss me off baby." The Gunslinger snarled at the young woman who gulped and ran off so fast she didn't even bother talking to the pretty brunette who had been moving toward them.

"Rebecca? Little Rebecca, it really **is** you." The woman asked with shock thick in her voice.

Revy looked at the woman a moment before snorting and shaking her head. "Selina - freaking- Kyle. How the hell did an A-Class con artist like you make the invite list for this thing? Now I know I must be in hell.

"What about you, you crazy bitch," Selina said with a sly grin in place, "I heard you were dead and here you are gunning down anti-fur types. I didn't even know fur protesters were in season."

"Jesus, would you listen to you people. It's not like I even popped a cap in the tree-hugging sonuvabitch."

"Not for lack of trying." Selina said with sarcastic glee before turning her attention to Rock, "umm a handsome man in handsome suit. Don't tell me you're wasting all that scrumptious on this psycho."

Long experience with The Church of Violence's flirtatious Eda had taught Rock what his survivability rating would sink to if he rose to Selina's baiting. "Okajima, Friends call me Rock. Revy ... Rebecca and I work together."

Selina turned back to Revy, "So spill it Girlfriend, Last I heard, you were dead. What happened to you?"

Revy sighed, "It was touch and go for awhile I ended up in South Asia I work for the tall Blondie in crushed velvet."

Selina looked over at Hotel Moscow's leader and shuddered, "Wow, does that one ever set off my danger meter."

"You always were sharp Selina. Boss lady is here to ... take care of business, so-to-speak."

"I have an ear to the ground," Selina nodded, "I know some quote unquote crazy Russian chick is in town to straighten out Mikhail and Vassily of the Russian Mafia."

"Miss Vladalina is a legitimate businesswoman." Rock explained using Balalaika's preferred cover identity."

Selina looked at Rock, "You're cute Honey, and the earnest eyes really sell the story. But if you think I can't smell a cover story a mile away, you obviously don't know who you are dealing with."

"So what are you doing here Selina?" Revy sighed as she downed another shot of Barcardi.

"I do charity fund-raising, among other things. I'm using Cobblepot's party to work a few long term prospects."

Revy looked at the woman a moment then shrugged, "So tall me what's the deal with this town anyway. Its like freak central around here, are these guys in masks running around for real?"

"Not just guys we're equal opportunity around here. I assume you've heard of The Catwoman. And if you think this is weird you could see Metropolis, The Big Blue Boy Scout will blow your mind."

"I think I've see it all babe." Revy grumbled.

Suddenly the glassed ceiling shattered as a man in an armoured flight suit floated down. A high whine coming from the backpack he wore. He threw out his arm and blast of heat that could be felt yards away cleared off the bar and scattered the patrons.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen the experienced among you might recognize me as Firefly I see some newbie's in the house so for their benefit I'll explain how this works cash and valuable in the bag and if I see or hear anything bat-like this place and everyone in it will burn."

"Are we being robbed at ...at.... what the hell was that thing he used?" Rock asked

"What that was, was the ringing of the bell cause someone is about to get schooled." Revy snarled.

Firefly was approaching Balalaika and Rock once again noticed that Boris moved to place himself defensively in front of Isley and not his boss and Captain.

Firefly peered at Balalaika. "What's this, are you mocking me? You think because you felt the fire up close ...the fire speaks to me ...to me, you hear me?" he screamed with raising dementia.

It was obvious Balalaika's scars were the cause of his agitation but the Russian didn't cringe however, if anything her eyes became more harsh and her face even more intense as she regarded the flight suited man. "The fire didn't speak to me," she whispered "it sang, hasn't it ever sang for you?"

Firefly seemed to get more upset and angry "it sings, it's always sang to me."

"I think not, standing there in your little costume. You've never let the fire touch you for real not like I did. I felt it and heard its sweet music."

"You're lying. You're mocking me." Firefly raged at her, "I'll teach you not to mock me."

Quick as a snake, one of Revy's pistols was nestled against Firefly's skull. The Mercenary laughed, "You must be an out-of-towner. This thing is damage-rated to be practically bulletproof."

Revy's face pulled into a death's head grin, "There is a world of difference between bulletproof and fire resistant. And I'm betting a fuck-up like you doesn't know that difference enough to buy smart. If what you're wearing is bulletproof I could fire this gun into your skull and you just might survive. But if that Halloween get-up is just fireproof well then someone is about to have really, really messy night."

Firefly raised his arm and pointed the wrist-mounted incendiary weapon at the crowd. "Back-off hero or its Rich-boys roasting on an open fire."

Revy shrugged, "Hey I could give a crap if you want to open up on the top ten percent. If they can't duck --fuck 'em." Her thumb flicked the hammer back on her pistol obviously she was about to gun the pyromaniac down in cold blood.

"Oh you're one of those huh, OK change of tactics." Firefly swung his weapon around training its muzzle on Rock "Hey boyfriend think fast."

Rock hurled himself over the bar. Long experience in Roanapur had taught the Ex-saleryman that the safest place to be when the shooting started was behind a bar.

Revy kicked out at the villain as she hopped atop the bar and started firing at Firefly even as the criminal unleashed a fiery blast at her. Revy dodged, leaping through the air twisting and firing as she went.

She aimed her fire at his backpack. When he began turning himself so she couldn't hit it she simply ran straight at him, sliding across the floor kicking him as she passed between his legs. He grunted and tried to hit her with another blast but she was already behind him and firing repeatedly at her target.

Suddenly there was another crash and a dark figure in a cape dropped though the glass

Firefly cursed, "Not him any one but him" he screamed as he launched a blast at the dropping Batman.

Revy unleashed a kick that sent the mercenary flying backward she began unloading ammo at the backpack. An ominous sparking began coming from the backpack a bat-shaped shuriken came flying at them both. Firefly was knocked to the ground while Revy reflexively shot down the other flaying projectile.

"Stand down gunslinger!" Batman shouted.

"Screw that, this douche bag isn't getting away from me." Revy screamed as she slid around the Dark Knight for an angle on the pyromaniac.

Firefly was panicking and triggered the backpack he started taking to the air "Reload" Revy screamed in the direction of the bar. Rock popped up with two fresh clips that Revy slammed home as she darted across the bar toward the fleeing Firefly. Leaping into the air she latched onto his foot. In this fashion they flew through the glass ceiling with Firefly trying to kick at her and Revy still firing at the backpack whose sparking had gone from ominous to sinister. Batman triggered a zip line that carried him upwards past the broken glass. He landed on the roof.

"Oh god its going to blow." Firefly gave up trying to save his flight pack. He ejected from the backpack causing he and Revy to fall though the broken skylight. Firefly latched on to the edge of the broken skylight frame leaving the Revy to slid down the giant iceberg her fingers desperately clutching for any purchase.

Batman caught the falling backpack and wheeled around, hurling it away from the roof. There was a tremendous explosion as heat and light bathed the night sky. The Dark Knight spun around to see Firefly dangling over the edge of the two-story drop. The gunslinger was sliding quickly down the giant iceberg toward what would be a painful stop at the bottom. Batman hurled two bat-a-rangs into the ice pile hoping the girl's reflexes were as fast as they seemed.

Revy indeed spied the bat-a-rangs stuck in the ice as she slid past, she reached out snagging them. Their edges dug deep grooves in the ice as she continued to fall but they slowed her momentum enough that she crashed harmlessly in the pool at the bottom.

Batman hauled Firefly up from his failing grip on the skylight before delivering a hammer blow that would render the pyromaniac unconscious.

"Now that was a fucking rush." Revy sighed as she sat in the cold pool of ice at the bottom of the ice structure.

Jim Gordon was there, looking severe, "You, young Lady, are under arrest. I don't care what kind of immunity you have."

Revy was swiftly handcuffed and lead away Rock didn't ask permission, he just jumped into the backseat with her behind Gordon as the police car pulled away from the Iceberg Lounge and sped though the dark streets.

"Man ...Big Sis is gonna blow a gasket when we get back " Revy sighed.

"How long have you known the Boss?" Rock mused thoughtfully.

Revy shrugged, "They were still setting up shop when I came to town. They took out a bunch of small fish before she and Chang really threw down for the first time."

"I've been living in town about two years now and in all that time I have never heard mister Boris call the boss anything except Captain or ma'am or some variation there of ...until tonight when he called her by name."

"So he called her by name... so what?"

"Did you see him He was looking at that Pamela Isley? Everything she does paying attention to her every word..."

"…In other words Boris is looking to lay some pipe." Revy snapped dismissively, "I realize to a social fuck-up like you this will be shocking but pretending to give a shit what a chick says is usually the first step to getting in her pants."

"Hey whenever I want to talk, either you get drunk or you get me drunk and don't get me started about what happens when I want to share about your past."

"What do you want to know?"

"Well we're in Gotham city and it's obvious you got history with this place...."

"I grew up dozen blocks from here. The locals called it Crime alley. That when they call it anything at all. I don't have family or any family I give a shit about."

"Sorry..."

"Hey Jimbo, " she called to The Commissioner in the front, "I hear you don't pound a beat anymore. Who had to die for that to happen?"

"Commissioner Loeb, I thought that was you when you came in....you've come a long way from the Chinatown Shootout. What happened to you Rebecca?"

"I figured out how the world works. It's not hard really the weak get stepped on and the strong do the stepping I decided I was sick and tired of getting stepped on."

"So you became a what, hired gun a mercenary some kind of killer." Gordon asked looking at her in the rear-view.

"I never killed anyone who didn't have it coming."

"Did that include Officer Michael Antonucci?"

"You tell me Commish; I know you saw his place... The pictures he had and who was in those pictures. What's the GCPD's policy on covering up stuff like that these days?"

"That was done as much for you as it was for his family. They didn't deserve the anguish of a long drawn out inquiry and frankly, you might not have had such an easy ride at court if it had gone public. An east ender, crime alley reject, ran with gangs rumored to be their button man."

"Yeah I know the score Jimbo, some slick lawyer would have called me a rat from crime alley. Said I was whore who had it coming. The jury would have been creaming in their pants to let him off."

"So is that what happened that day Rebecca? You get mad. Go looking for payback?"

"I don't know what happened to Officer Antonucci, Commissioner." Revy grinned evilly, "Maybe it was God's Will maybe it was karma."

"You had better hope not young lady, if you believe in Karma then someone might wonder when you are going to get what's coming to you?"

"Hey maybe if I get in to trouble Bat guy will swoop in and save me. You know you were right all those years ago."

"What are you talking about?"

"You said Gotham was going to change and be different one day... I don't know if its better but this place was never as exciting as it was tonight."

"It is better Rebecca. It wasn't just HIM. He helped, but there were others, Leslie Tompkins, Harvey Dent; we all worked to make this city better. You could have been part of that." Gordon looked out the window as if some fleeting shadow was drawing his eye.

Rock watched him for a moment before turning to his partner who shrugged at him. "He was the guy who found me and got me patched up after.... well I was in trouble again" she explained.

"What happened?"

"Long story I'll tell when there are few less ears."

"That might take a while."

The policeman upfront was on the radio and cursed. Gordon turned to him what is it?" The Commissioner asked.

"Russian Consulate rep is down at booking, we aren't even there yet and their already cutting paper to cut her loose."

"You've got to be kidding me?" Gordon asked.

"No sir they are down at One Police Plaza as we speak."

"Then take the next left." Gordon sighed

"Left but that will take us to …"

"Bludhaven where we will book her for her weapons violation in Gotham City whereupon when my honest mistake is discovered, we will transfer her back to Gotham City all of which should take six to eight hours to deal with we might even have her for half a day."

Revy smiled into the rear-view, "What do you know Jimbo Gotham City ain't changed that much the police are still willing to screw you over."

"If this was the old days you might not make it Bludhaven I just want you out of circulation long enough for me to run paper on your boss. Very few people have the kind of influence she does and all of them have caused this city more then its share of problems. I will do what I have to keep Gotham safe."

Gordon settled back in the set and ignored the girl in the back and that smile he remembered from so long ago that deaths head grin that looked so out of place on the face of the little girl but looked frightening on the grown woman she had become.

* * *

Balalaika walked out the Iceberg Lounge. She ignored the fawning press who were focusing their attention on the departing party guests. Okajima would have to deal with Two Hands and Boris had vanished. For the moment she was on her own. The car from the hotel was out front so she trudged toward the car slipping into the back seat "Back to the hotel " she snapped to the female driver the car pulled away into the night.

* * *

The Joker waited in the dark. He had slipped secretly into the party posing as a bartender. It was amazing, for the better part of a year he had terrorized this town and yet he was able to stroll around and few noticed him and no one even recognized him. This town was forgetting him, something would have to be done about that. Tonight however, the agenda was a little more focused. Yuri with a little persuasion, had been very forth coming. Joker had the lowdown on the Russian out of towners and her back up crew.

Joker had seen Firefly's attack on the party. Joker would have to give Garfield a piece of his mind when he next saw the flame obsessed freak. As far as Joker was concerned when he was the subject, imitation was not a form of flattery.

He saw the hotel's car swing around and glide to a stop near him he smiled, this was going to be fun. He would make this Russian crime boss wet herself. He opened the car door and was shocked when he looked inside to find Balalaika casually holding a Stechkin to Harley's head. In her other hand was a Walther PPK that was pointed at the Joker. The Russian waved the gun meaningfully and Joker started to climb in. "If you would get rid out the explosive vest first. Just dump it in the street if you please?"

The Joker carefully removed the vest he was carrying that held his usual trump card of explosives. He was putting his coat back on when her gun gestured again.

"The knives as well ...all of them, in fact, just take off your clothes... everything except the boxers please."

The Joker disrobed while looking at Harley who shrugged. "Sorry mister J she got the drop on me."

"You're in the front seat and she can't have known you were there. How did she get the drop on you?"

Balalaika snorted with contempt, "I realize living in this soft city has dulled your brains but I have spent the last several years of my life in Roanapur I have a regular lunch date with a man who has dedicated his life to killing me and I have to fend off at least two random attempts on my life a week. You can't seriously think I would be taken by surprise by such a pedestrian attempt on my person."

Once the joker was finished undressing Balalaika looked him up and down and then gestured him inside. Joker was settling in across from her when she gestured again "Please Mister Clown, Don't be shy, feel free to seat next to me in fact I insist." the Russian hissed and waved Joker closer. joker though this would be the time to turn the tables but then the Russian jabbed the barrel of her gun into his crotch. "I don't care how insane you are. You are still a man. I'm betting you still retain enough rationality to protect the only thing of real value **to** a man."

Joker whined, "Hey careful with that thing its cold."

"If you like I can warm the barrel up for you the old fashioned way." Balalaika hissed before nodding to Harley. "Doctor, if you be so kind, The Dockyards please. We will rendezvous with my ship and then you and your boyfriend will accompany me out past the two hundred mile limit "

"I'm not really in the mood for a sea cruise." Joker muttered

"Don't worry you won't be aboard her for very long." Balalaika said with cold politeness, "I have a fascination for history especially the old method for cleaning barnacles off the hull."

Harley was mystified; "You want us to clean your ship for you?"

They used to drag man across the hull underneath the ship. The barnacles would flay the skin from his body." Joker explained as he felt the gun jab in again.

"What the matter Mister Clown?" Balalaika asked with a cruel smirk. "I thought you found Death amusing?"

I didn't kill the Chechen." The Joker said simply "I threatened him but I'm not the one who actually did the dirty deed."

"…But you know who did and will tell me maybe not right away but I have methods of compulsion. The Afghans have a particularly effective trick that I've wanted to tryout. If you aren't insane now you will be by the time I'm done indulging myself awhile."

"Look me in the eyes Captain." The Joker said in perfect Russian with not a trace of an accent.

Balalaika was surprised to hear perfect Russian so far from her Homeland "I did not kill the Chechen I left that task to his juniors and they performed it beautifully I have to say." He laughed.

"Which one?"

"I was watching your people. The Girl is a real gas she's like a pit bull terrier. But you know the one I really like is The Boy. Such a find ...his eyes are his best feature. He isn't afraid, nervous yes neurotic to the extreme he's like Woody Allen on crack he's so neurotic. But he isn't afraid is that why you keep him around?"

Balalaika didn't answer but the absence of the cold indifference that had been etched on her face told the Joker all he needed to know he had scored a point She had indeed noticed the absence of real fear in Rock's eyes.

"You've seen what this town can throw at you and he's adapting they both are though you aren't doing too badly."

Balalaika flicked the hammer on the gun back and Joker retracted his hands which had been creeping toward her "Before you make the obvious joke," The Russian hissed, "I assure when I go off, I will be fully cocked."

"I'd say you are adapting to this town really, really well." The Joker muttered, "anyway my point is, I look at someone like The Boy who has no fear and then I look at Mikhail and Vassily who are I'm betting are wetting themselves around you and I would begin to wonder. He reached forward and tapped Harley "Harley-Girl stop the car we are getting out here. The Captain can drive herself back to the hotel." He said in English.

Balalaika jabbed the gun into the Joker's side but he seemed unmoved by the threat. "What makes you think I'm not going to kill you?" She hissed.

"…Because you have rules Captain, your kind always does. Rules are the only thing that kept you alive when everyone around you was screaming and dying. Your rules and code are what's keeping you honest in your little Roanapur Kingdom. That's why you're still on top down there. Guy like me, I've got no code, don't need em can't stand em but then you aren't like me and you don't want to be. If I don't screw with you, you won't do Harley or Me any harm. I told you the truth and you and I both know that you were never in any real danger from me."

The car pulled to a stop and both The Joker and Harley got out leaving Balalaika looking after them. The Joker tossed a look inside the car. "It's too bad you hate this town Bally-baby. Someone like you would really make it fun again. Between you, me and The Bat this place would be a non-stop party town."

The nefarious pair walked into the night leaving Balalaika looking after them. The Russian had to admit The Joker managed a fair amount of dignity since he was dressed only in his boxer shorts. He had also left her much to think about.


	4. Chapter 4

Cats Tale

* * *

IT was hours after the partygoers had departed when a dark shadow slid down a high tension wire to perch on a ledge outside an office window of Penguin Munitions.

Catwoman adjusted her goggles. Not just a fashion statement, their enhanced lenses allowed her to pick up all the little surprises that made being professional thief an annoying pain. However running the visual scanners across the entire light spectrum revealed .. nothing -- no laser tripwires, no sonic tags, it was like Cobblepot didn't care if anyone broke in. Only a simple metal latch kept the windows closed and she used a simple magnet on that. Opening the window, she slipped gingerly into the room stepping over the plants that lined the windows ledge. She set her feet gently on the floor but there was no signs of pressure sensitive flooring.

"Geeze, Oswald," she hissed to herself. "make a girl work for it why don't you."

As she crept through the gloom she wondered at Cobblepot's need for so many flowering plants. It could not be for appearance's sake because the colouring and look of the flowers clashed wildly with each other and the office itself with its many pictures and statues of birds. Moving to the desk, she tried desk drawers finding them open and containing nothing of interest. Then she got a locked drawer. She lockpicked the thing open in under a minute. Inside were photos of the The Hotel Moscow Crew and Balalaika herself. There were also pictures of The Marie Zeleska including design plans marking out where storage tanks could be set up in the huge freighter.

"Oswald what are you doing?" She asked as she took pictures of the plans with a small camera. moving to the desk she saw the computer was on.

"tsk, tsk, Oswald a security flaw like that could be exploited by someone with an agenda."

She attached a flash drive to the computer pressing a button on the top which auto executed the copying of the computer's files. She could have them decrypted later. While she waited for the files to flow into the flash drive, Selina looked around the office and noticed a light coming from the next room.

Selina softly opened the door and was shocked to find the Russian mob boss' aide-de-camp Boris laying on a cushioned bed surrounded by more aromatic flowers. Selina watched as the man stared sightlessly into the dark while whispering to himself. "The Green, The Green." he repeated like it was a holy chant.

"OK that's just creepy." Selina whispered to herself as she crept back into the office area. She heard a soft whispering coming from another room down a hallway and so she moved stealthily up to the door leaning close to hear the conversation going on inside. She saw Isley, the pretty red head, video conferencing to someone in an ornate mask.

"...Ivy you were warned against pursuing your own personal agendas We can not afford the attention your ... activities bring."

Ivy cut off the mask man. " Those Poor stupid villagers, " She sneered "They had it coming. Thousands of years that old growth forest stood there and they turned it over to a corporate slash and burn outfit for money," She hissed with contempt in her voice, "for money."

"Ivy, they were starving...blight had wiped out their crops and the ground would not support new ones."

"They should have starved rather then destroy something older then they were. Probably their fault anyway. That ground was perfect for generations. if it went sour it was no doubt something they did. I just gave them what they had coming."

"We at the League of Shadows strike against the corruption of the world..."

"They were corrupt, what's more corrupt then despoiling ground that has sustained and supported you despite your misuse of it. They should never have been there anyway. At least their deaths allowed me to test my mutated biotoxin. I've introduced it to the elite class, they will start sickening within a day and after that... I even arranged to deal with some old business."

"What do you mean?"

"I met Bruce Wayne and managed to slip him the virus personally. He wont die right away but he death is assured i want him to suffer for what he has done to me."

The figure chuckled softly, "You would do well not to underestimate Wayne. he has played a role in upsetting our plans in the past."

"The only thing he will be doing soon is puking his guts out and that's just the fun part before it gets nasty."

"And why did you involve the gangsters from Roanapur?"

"That wasn't my doing. Cobblepot promised me Volchek's assistance in shipping the virus out of Gotham but his security was compromised I had to deal with the spy then I also had to neutralize the police the spy might have reported to."

"I would be very careful Ivy, Balalaika is not one to suffer manipulation gladly. Should you be unable to control her..."

"No man or woman can resist Poison Ivy that's at least one good thing about my ...condition."

"The strong minded resist your compulsions else you might have suborned my will long ago." The Masked figure reminded her, "if there is one thing I can tell you about Balalaika it is that she is strong minded."

"I already have her right hand man under my control. If she won't be ruled then she will be dealt with...permanently."

"Confidence borne of ignorance Ivy, Pray that your learning curve will not be a steep one. You have far more to fear from those you have met then you know."

"I am more then capable of dealing with anything this town can throw at me." Ivy sneered reaching out and clicking off the connection. "Which includes spies." she wheeled around quickly with a small dart thrower in her hand. Selina ducked as a small dart stabbed into the wood of the door.

"Did you enjoy the plants in the office my dear they hide their heads at night and only open them if they are disturbed by touch causing them to throw off a distinctive smelling spore." Ivy snarled as she stalked toward down the hallway firing darts at the fleeing Catwoman. Catwoman entered the office and when she had room unleashed the whip at her side, cracking it harshly at Poison Ivy driving her back.

"That wouldn't be the Demon's Head I saw on screen would it?" Catwoman taunted, "Don't tell me your crazy enough to deal with that megalomaniac." She snatched up the flash drive while keeping Isley at bay with the whip.

"Ra's Al Ghul sees as I do that Mankind is like a weed choking the life from the planet."

"Funny I just thought he was an arrogant jackass with a messiah complex even if he's a total wacko about it."

"All of mankind have committed crimes against the Planet."

"I'm thinking city wide genocide might be perceived as being a little on the side of overkill."

"Trust me I'm thinking way beyond Gotham. I mean for men everywhere to pay for their sins."

"I'm surprised you got Penguin to sign off on that. He's greedy but he's no lunatic. You can't make money from a city filled with corpses."

"Penguin is like most men. Appeal to the head that does the thinking and he was easily exploited."

The two traded blows around the room dodging and striking at each other. Suddenly Catwoman lashed out in a kick that forced Isley backwards. Instead of being angry, the woman grinned slyly at Catwoman.

"Aren't you tired of fighting dear. isn't it just getting so hard to move don't your arms feel like they weigh so very much ... just lie down."

Catwoman suddenly felt it, something sapping her strength and ability to move. She barely acknowledged the presence of Cobblepot who had shuffled into the room. "What...what did you do to me?"

"Oh honey, i didn't DO anything. you really should have studied a little botany in school you might have learned about many of these orchids. The scent they produce creates a state that dulls the senses. You've been breathing in the toxins since you came in the room and by now they should be taking hold."

Catwoman stumbled away from the woman trying to clear her head. She looked around the office but saw nothing that could help her and the office itself was starting to blur and whirl around her.

"Just give up , give in," Isley whispered , her voice almost hypnotic, "go to sleep and when you wake up you'll feel so much better. so much more friendly to me."

For some reason Selina latched on a memory. Her and Revy in the Group Home and how much pleasure the young hellion took in lighting things afire and watching them burn. Suddenly she knew what to do. She snatched a small aerosol spray can from her belt normally she used it to make fingerprints visible to her special lenses but right now she had a more old school use for the thing. She grabbed an ornate lighter from the desk and flicking the flame to life used the can as a makeshift blowtorch. First she tried forcing Isley and Cobblepot away from her but then turned the belching flame on the plants around her, scorching them.

Isley screamed, shouting about her precious babies and screeching at Cobblepot to kill Catwoman. Cobblepot came at her swirling his umbrella at her, its tip extended to show a razor sharp blade. Cobblepot jabbed at her with a cutting slash. Selina hissed at the stinging pain of the cut he made on her shoulder and chest.

Turning to the window she launched herself toward it, curling herself into a ball as she smashed though. Suddenly she felt her mind clearing as she plunged toward the ground. Triggering the claws in her gloves she tried digging into the wall but her speed and momentum were too great. She gave a painful cry as her body slammed into the wall before bouncing away. Still she was falling to the ground. She grappled on to a flagpole. It bent almost double under her weight but seemed to be holding her until the wall housing ripped free sending her hurtling earthward. Selina cursed as she braced herself for a painful landing. Finally she crashed with a thud on something firm yet giving.

She shook her head to clear it and realized she was moving. Looking around, she realized she was in a flatbed truck. Reaching out she gathered up the substance she had landed on, a combination of sand and sawdust, from a construction site no doubt.

"Saved by kitty litter. Someone with a sense of humour really likes me." she sighed "I wonder what the regular folk are doing right now."

* * *

"Name?"

"Okajima, Rokuro Okajima. Everybody just calls me Rock."

"Rock? Is that you being funny? Address?"

"The dark side of the moon."

"What"

"**That** was me being funny, Roanapur Thailand, no fixed address"

I haven't met too many homeless people in Brooks Brothers Tuxedos. So how come you don't have a home address?"

"That's a very good question Officer Bullock and one I would love to discuss in great detail but see I'm trying to get someone out of jail so..."

"...And I'm trying to figure out who you are so's we don't end up releasing a suspect into the hands of someone dangerous. For all I know you might be a some whack-job."

"Do I have a talking puppet? Am I psycho clown? I'm nobody you have my ID."

"This place just reopened after a bio-terror attack. One of the uniforms got a hold of some weirdo stuff and released it in the squad room."

"A bio terror attack are you sure it's safe?"

"Two thirds of the force still has their heads in toilet bowls at home." Bullock complained, "At least the ones who aren't in hospital. Eggheads from the CDC went through this place with a fine-tooth comb and cleaned it out. I had to leave my entire video collection here overnight when they locked the place down. Just after I'd finally gotten my hands on Shanghai Sirens directors cut Too."

"Shanghai Sirens?"

"Its a b-Movie classic hot babes total ass-kicking action...."

"I know what it is. My company delivered a bunch of DVDs a couple of weeks back."

"...and what is it you do for a living, Mister Rock?"

"Office Manager for Lagoon Courier Company."

"...And what do they do?"

"It's a Company that couriers' things aboard a ship called The Black Lagoon. Hence the name Lagoon --Courier--Company."

"Are you being funny again cause I got to say, every joke you tell leaves your friend that much further away from being released into your custody."

"Officer Bullock, We've been doing this for hours and I've been awake all night I've been rerouted misdirected and outright screwed with by every badge in Gotham City. Revy has been shuttled though every police station lock-up from here to Bludhaven. You even managed to commit her for a few hours to Arkham Asylum. One of the doctors even tried to psychoanalyze the both of us."

"No fooling, which one, not the looker?"

"If you mean Doctor Quinzell then yes the looker, to be honest my sense of humour is about the only thing keeping me sane right now."

"Bullock," a shrill cry cut across the near constant din of the squad room, "Bullock how many times have I told you, no doing reports while looking at your DVDs. This arrest report is a freaking mess."

Rock looked up and saw a tall shorthaired woman everyone called -- Sawyer. Idly he wondered if she was in anyway related to Frederica J. Sawyer, Roanapur's infamous Cleaner.

As he sat waiting for Bullock's return from being lectured, he looked around the room. His eyes caught sight of a small greenish colored vial lying under Bullock' messy desk. He picked it up and saw right away that the vial itself was not green rather its contents shimmered with a emerald glow that was almost hypnotic. As he looked at it he could almost swear there was a girl dancing inside. Her body seemed to move slowly and sensuously inside the vial. and there was a voice in the back of his mind almost pleading with him, begging him to let her out. She would be his if only he would just open the vial, open it and let her ... He saw Bullock coming back to the desk and shoved the vial into his pocket.

"OK Mister Okajima if you could just sign this here release form the lovely Miss Rebecca will be your responsibility."

"Thank you "

"...and here, and here and there and initial there."

"There isn't even a line there."

"You want to go though some more procedural paper work cause I got time."

"So you've seen the two sequels to Shanghai Sirens and the prequel starring the old lady from Crouching Tiger."

No I Aint seen those."

Rock leaned in, talking in a conspiratorial fashion, "Tell you what, you seem much more competent about police paperwork then me, why don't I get you to fill these forms out while I access the private server my friend keeps the copies on."

I'm not so sure that's a good idea they watch the internet connection around here and i'm on a pretty tight leash with the commander if you didn't notice."

"Trust me I've picked up a few tricks, they won't know what happened and I can even get you a copy of her softcore porno, it's very tasteful has lots of scenes of her with this really cute Indian actress they do this one scene in the shower..."

Bullock swiveled the computer screen over to Rock's side of the desk "you've got five minutes Mister Rock."

Rock began typing furiously hoping he could remember the name of the servers that Benny The Lagoon's tech guru kept his movie files on. The man had taught him how to remote access the Lagoon Company servers but hacking in from around the corner was a little different then hacking in from the other side of the globe."  
______________________________________________________________

AN-- my apologies to any fans of BATMAN RETURNS -- :-)


	5. Chapter 5

Rock and Revy came shuffling back to the hotel suite around dawn. They found Balalaika

brooding, an icepack cradled to her face. Rock swiftly shoved the dazed Revy into the bath for a much needed shower. Balalaika wondered if he bothered to even undress her before shoving her under the spray. Rock eventually joined her obviously a little nervous after last nights action.

" Captain..." he started to explain but she cut him off.

"Rock, did we serve together?" Balalaika interrupted coldly.

"No ma'am."

"Then I assure you that Miss, will do fine. - Though I appreciate the show of respect. It has been sadly lacking from certain quarters of late."

Rock made note of the half empty bottle of vodka next to her. He went to move it away when Balalaika said with icy politeness, "Rock you'll understand that I'm being quite sincere when I warn you that if you touch that bottle I will kill you where you stand."

Rock pulled his hand back with exaggerated slowness, "Are you all right Miss, Did something happen last night? Did you hurt your face?"

"It has been irritated since the party; the vodka and the ice have been most helpful. They've also allowed me to contemplate my encounter with The Joker."

Rock paused, "Excuse me, The Joker?" he asked in a shocked voice, "...you met with him, as in face to face."

"He attempted to kidnap me. I assume it was he who killed the limo driver and stuffed him into the trunk. I found his corpse leering at me when I got back to the hotel."

"What did you do to him...The Joker I mean?"

"I interrogated him and then I let him and his paramour go." She waved away his surprise. "I didn't come to this city to rack up a body count. Once Mikhail and His junior are dealt with, we can depart and leave this insane asylum to its inmates."

"Where is Mister Boris?" Rock asked and Balalaika gestured to a newspaper beside her Rock looked at the gossip page Bois could be seen arm and arm with Isley, smiling stupidly into the flash of the camera that had captured his departure.

"My Sergeant was photographed leaving the party -with Cobblepot and that tree-hugging _kashka_."

She saw his mystified look and sighed, "I'm told your fellow Japanese occasionally call them comfort women, A charming title thought up I have no doubt, by men too cowardly to admit their base desires or the need to indulge them." Rock blushed as he realized what she was driving at. Rock occasionally forgot that as well mannered and learned as Balalaika was, she possessed a dark and ruthless worldview that she did little to hide. Wherever Boris was, Rock prayed that for his sake he had really good excuse for what he had been up to.

Revy wondered into the room having traded the black cocktail dress for more casual attire. She was vigorously toweling herself off after the shower. "I feel like crap, any chance of real breakfast. I got to say, that jail looks smaller then I remember or maybe I'm just taller now."

"So good of you to join us," Balalaika snapped. "You made quite an impression last night, Two Hands."

Rock turned to the front page. There in all her violent glory was Revy. He glanced at the story and accompanying pictures including one snapped of Revy she was about to shoot the fur protester outside the party. He passed it on to Revy who whined about the photographer not getting her best side.

The phone rang and Balalaika snatched it up, listening for a moment. She slammed the phone down with a curse. "Best faces all of you. That was the Bellhop; the police are on their way up here. Along with a half dead zombie that resembles my Sergeant."

"Boris getting back now? ...Way to go." Revy cackled.

"If he can't give a good account of himself, he might need the police to keep him alive." Balalaika snarled as she prepared to greet their guests.

Minutes later, there was a knocking at the door. Okajima opened the door to reveal Boris standing looking dazed while a group of official looking men and one woman stood at his back.

"We found this guy wondering around the lobby, is he yours?" The Woman asked with a wry smile, "Maggie Sawyer - GCPD Major Crimes Unit. When the city's more ...unusual citizenry go on the rampage I deal with it and with anyone possibly connected to the incidence."

The bellhop came in pushing a cart filled with coffee and food. He looked sheepish. "Compliments of the Hotel ma'am."

Balalaika assumed a look of cold politeness, "Thank you for returning him Margaret good reliable help is so hard to find these days." She turned to Boris, speaking sharply to him in Russian. The man responded shrugging his shoulders and pointing to his watch, the international sign that he was claiming to have lost track of time. Rock sighed, he knew less about women then most and even he knew that wasn't the answer you gave when one was upset with you ...that going double for those females who, like the women of Roanapur, had a track record of vicious brutality.

"Incidentally that breakfast cart looks delicious. Mind if me and mine indulge?"

"No," Balalaika answered, "feel free to avail yourself Margaret I would prefer to be a little more presentable anyway." She fixed the young Bellhop with a powerful look, "Don't you go anywhere young man I'll want to have a word with you when I return."

She disappeared into her room for several moments before emerging again in a kimono. She had obviously splashed a little water on her face and run a brush through her long blonde hair.

Seating herself like a queen at court. She waved the bellhop forward handing him a hundred dollar bill.

"Please take the tray with when you leave. I would be mortified if my staff were to take such advantage of the hotel's generosity. I'm sure one of the disadvantaged souls I saw in the alleyway outside would be more then happy with such a rich assortment of treats please give it to them." when he was close she slipped the hundred into his pocket as she whispered aloud,

"A little more warning will get you double that amount." The boy reddened and scampered away pushing the breakfast tray before him Revy was about to snag a breakfast roll and another cup of coffee when Balalaika cleared her throat meaningfully. "For the less fortunate Rebecca means... for the less fortunate put it back you can stuff your face on your own time not mine."

Maggie was about to start speaking but Balalaika cut her off with a waving hand as she lit an expensive cigar. She took several contemplative puffs before settling back in her chair, Maggie started again but Balalaika stopped her again with a meaningful look. "Now am I to take your word that you are Gotham Police. Even in Thailand the authorities carry identification of some kind at least then I'd know with whom I am conversing."

Maggie handed over her shield; Balalaika took it and examined it and the ID that came with it intently before jotting something on the pad and paper beside her that she handed to Rock.

"Notes - if you please Mister Okajima."

Rock nodded and took the proffered shield and ID, which he returned to Sawyer.

"So, have you paid off all the hotel staff or just the bellhops?" Maggie asked with a sardonic smile firmly in place.

"I believe in maintaining a strategic advantage. Thinking like that is what got me where I am today."

"... And I assume you know smoking is traditionally frowned upon in these rooms." Maggie commented.

"Feel free to add it to the many complaints the consulate generals office alerted me to this morning. Your department has filed more paperwork with them in the last few hours then in the last year. Someone must be very busy."

"So have your people. I've seen paper chase played a few times in my career and your people are the best at it." Sawyer produced a pad and nodded as she read off everyone's names. "...So quite a busy evening we all had."

"That would be ONE description of the chaos. Inspector."

"So why'd you to cut loose like you did Miss Rebecca?" Sawyer asked Revy who gave the seasoned cop an indifferent shrug.

"I thought that freak was going to make a move on the Boss." The gun woman replied with nonchalance.

"If she felt threatened by this Firefly ...god must every pathetic want-to-be criminal in this godforsaken city have some stupid alias." she swore in Russian, "Okajima tell me you know this useless piece of filth's name...his real name I mean."

Maggie smiled "Lynnes, Garfield Lynnes he's a..."

"... Pyromaniac, yes I gathered." Balalaika waved an annoyed hand at her, "I knew such a man during the war. I ordered him to raze farmer fields to flush out resistance troops. We found him later in the day ... naked and surrounded by flames. He was in a state of obvious excitement."

"I remember Igor, Pamela would have been upset with him," Boris, sighed, "she cares so much for plants and fields I never appreciated such things until she opened my eyes."

"Indeed, the crux of it Officer Sawyer," Balalaika hissed while fixing Boris with a cold look, "is that my Security personnel, charged with my protection whilst in your violent little city, saw a threat to my person and responded. If you wish to debate their exuberance feel free but as you are aware such choices are made heat of the moment."

Sawyer looked her, "So you're a long way from Roanapur Miss Vladalina I guess drumming up business can't be easy with the rumors about your business links to organized crime.'

"Reading tabloids are you? I'm surprised Margaret, you don't seem the type. My shipping company is a legitimate business interest. If some of my competitors have slandered my name, it is only because they lack the ability to beat me fairly. As a woman you are either very lucky or very naive not to have experienced such situations yourself."

"Oh I've had my share of nasty things said about me but calling someone who beat you to a deal, a Russian Mafioso, is a new one on me. Odd then that you would approach Mikhail Petrovic, he and his partner have connections to organized crime, well known connections.

"Mikhail and his partner Vassily are ex-military. While I have not served with either of them I prefer to deal with ex-soldiers. I find them to be more reliable then civilians."

"…And the well-armed men you've left sitting in on that boat of yours. Are they part of your security as well?"

"Roanapur is a violent place, one either learns to take such an environment seriously or else."

Maggie snorted, "...And the reason for your visit?" she asked.

Balalaika smiled coldly, "Organizing legitimate shipping contracts with various potential clients including Penguin Munitions."

"...Which means you've met Oswald Cobblepot, what are your impressions of the man?"

"...A pushy preening fool clinging to what remains of his family's former glory."

"Well I'll give you points for your perception but Cobblepot has a long history with skirting trade restrictions and weapons embargoes."

"Bougainvillea Trading Company is finalizing an arrangement to provide Mister Cobblepot with shipping access to the Asian Pacific corridor a plumb opportunity for both companies."

"You're aware " Sawyer asked, "that Penguin Munitions is under investigation for dealing with non-compliant nations?"

"Yes, trade embargoes against nations whose leadership are less then friendly with the UN and NATO member countries. I read United Nations statues as well as you do Margaret." Balalaika smiled at Sawyer.

"For a woman beset by scandalous rumors of your own legitimacy. I would think you would want to stay far away from the type of people Cobblepot does business with ... and Cobblepot himself for that matter."

"Margaret if we can be honest with each other, many of Bougainvillea's existing customers have questionable reputations and track records. More often then not, most are small business owners unable to afford the bribes and graft that certain governments demand."

"One last question did you know Mister Okajima is dead?" Sawyer announced casually.

"Excuse me?" Balalaika blinked.

Sawyer pointed at Rock, "He's dead, has been for over two years." she opened a pad and read from it, "Rokuro Okajima was declared legally dead by his employers at Ashii Industries over two years ago. I assume no one bothered to mention it to you. However traveling around with a dead man's identity is a pretty serious crime even if you happen to be that person."

Balalaika looked at Rock, "Is she right?"

"It's a legal and bureaucratic technicality, but it's a serious one. In hindsight, it should have dawned on me that my Boss took my resignation entirely too well and it's not like I exactly needed his good reference for my ... current job."

"Touché, Margaret," Balalaika gave the woman a frosty smile. "You win this round. Mister Okajima will have the appropriate documents filed by the end of the day if he wants to remain employed."

"...And Breathing." Revy cackled. Balalaika shot a murderous glare at her.

"An official statement by police verifying his identity might expedite the process. Of course, that would require he answer a question or two for me." Sawyer said with fake innocence.

"I assure you Margaret, if anyone has nothing to hide, it is our Rock. I'm sure he won't mind answering any questions. Will you Rock?"

Maggie noted the implied command in The Russian's voice. This was a woman who got what she wanted from anyone she wanted.

"Care to comment why your old bosses cut tie with you so easily?" Sawyer asked looking into Rock's eyes.

"We had an ethical conflict." Rock answered openly, "Once I'm back to being alive however, telling you anything would be a violation of my nondisclosure agreement."

"...Which only kicks in when you are alive. Right now you're obligated to be as forthcoming as possible or we can make this a more formal interview I'm told Officer Bullock made an impression last night."

Rock shuddered, "My bosses were building and trading nuclear weapons with nations on the UN watch list."

"...And you had a problem with that I take it?"

"What I had a problem with Officer Sawyer, was their decision to hire mercenaries to kill me when there was a chance of that data becoming public knowledge."

"Ouch, nice kid; OK, Tokyo Police have eyewitness testimony placing you back in town about a year and half after your quote unquote demise. Care to comment?"

Maggie didn't miss the quick glance Rock gave his Boss before answering, "I was there on business for BTC," He replied smoothly, "Miss Vladalina's ... there are some nuances of the Japanese language and culture she required my assistance with."

"I'll just bet there was." Maggie muttered, "tell me, did you get a chance to say hello to Mommy and Daddy while you were home?"

"My parents and I didn't have much to say to each other when I was living in Tokyo."

"You expect me to believe that you were in town and didn't feel the need to see them at all, not a card, not a note, nothing."

Now it was Rock's turn to smile coldly, "I never said I didn't want to see them but there was no point. I was a low ranking wage slave who screwed up the national exams the first time I sat for them. As far as my parents were concerned, I was dead to them the moment they couldn't boast to their friends about how much better I was then their children."

Maggie stared hard at the boy but saw there wasn't a trace of falsehood in his words. Whatever he was lying about, it wasn't this. "One last thing, Tokyo police wanted to clear up a small matter from a outstanding. I promised I would bring it up during the interview... You witnessed the death of Ginji Matusuzuki and the suicide of Yukio Washimine did you not?"

"Actually she kidnapped me."

"...In broad daylight, at gunpoint - it kind of stood out in the minds of the people who witnessed it."

"Yukio Washimine was a confused girl who tragically blamed me among others for the events that overtook her family. I wish there was someway I could have helped her but she committed suicide before I could stop her. If not for Miss Rebecca's intervention who risked her life and safety to assist me, things might not have ended so well."

"She kidnapped you at gun point Okajima, you almost sound sorry for her."

"I am Officer Sawyer, I feel very sorry for her she did not deserve to be dragged into the ugly side of her family's business."

"...And what was that business exactly?"

"As I'm sure the Tokyo police informed you when you went on your fishing expedition, Yukio Washimine was the last head of a Yakuza clan. Her demise brought a long standing gang war that swept the city to an end."

Maggie looked him in the eye, Once again he was being totally truthful, "She sounds like a sweet kid, confused but sweet. All right Okajima I'll notify the Japanese Consulate that we believe you are who you say you are. I'd advise you to get your paperwork filed ASAP. There is an office in town that would happily accommodate you."

Balalaika looked at Sawyer. "Well this has been most amusing experience. Inspector Sawyer," She said with cold smugness, "If you don't mind, I have indulged myself and my employees far too much. If we are done here I'd like to accomplish something today."

Sawyer looked at the woman carefully before nodding, "Of course Miss Vladalina."

The police left with Balalaika holding up her hand preventing any conversation until the elevator doors down the hall were heard to close. She pulled a small device from her kimono's pocket checking it. "We are clear. There was some kind of listening device in the room. I'm going to assume it came in with the breakfast cart hence why I asked for its removal."

"You think Sawyer brought it with her." Revy asked.

"I suspect a third party it might be time to consider relocating to the Zeleska." She turned to Boris "...And just why are you coming in at this hour Comrade Sergeant?" She hissed with annoyance. "...And spare me your excuse of losing track of time."

Boris shrugged, "I was with Mikhail, He and Cobblepot were taking me though the fine points of their profit-sharing deal. I'm looking for a way to get Cobblepot his money without Mikhail losing face."

"Assuming I believed you ...And I assure you I don't, why would you think I cared about such a thing?"

"This way everyone gets what they want... share and share alike. I have not worked out the details but Pamela felt it was a wise to at least..."

"Pamela," Balalaika snarled, "You discussed business, OUR BUSINESS, in front of that plant-crazy bitch. I'd ask if you had taken leave of your senses but that was in evidence last night."

"Pamela is a knowledgeable and formidable intellect. Speaking with her was quite enlightening."

"Jesus Boris, did you ever get pussy whipped quick." Revy remarked snidely.

Balalaika was more to the point, "Sergeant if you insist on dragging that woman's name in to every breath from your mouth, please just find her and have at her. Perhaps then you'll be of use to me again."

Boris snorted "Balalaika, there's no need to be like that about Pamela..."

Rock only heard a deep animal-like growl from Balalaika. The next second, quick as a rattlesnake, she was across the room. Her first blow slammed into Boris' stomach driving the air from his lungs. She screamed at him in Russian. He answered and whatever he said made her snarl with rage as she slapped him hard across the face before ramming another six heavy punches into him that landed hard, driving him to his knees. She hauled him up screaming in his face, cursing in Russian. Before kicking him in the gut and face. Screaming again and again. He answered her screaming with wounded grunts and moans crying out repeatedly over and over as she beat on him mercilessly. Finally satisfied, she settled back in her chair picked up her cigar and resumed smoking.

"Comrade Sergeant," She said as if nothing had happened, "I believe you have been undesirably influenced by the distracting nature of Gotham City. You can report to the Zeleska when you are finished here. Consider yourself confined there for the reminder of the trip. Corporeal Denisof can take your duties until our work is finished. We can discuss your inappropriate behavior when we are in a more secure ...and isolated location."

"Yes Comrade Captain My apologies for my indiscretion."

"We are on foreign soil conducting operations that might prove deadly it is only natural that stress reveal itself in occasional lapses in appropriate decorum but discipline and control have always been our strength and they must continue to be."

"I have a date with an over worked bureaucrat." Rock said pointedly while pulling on Revy who had to be practically dragged from the room.

"Of course Rock please attend to that matter with your paperwork. Then I want you to find out what that pushy bitch was really looking for. She gave up the hunt far too easily for my liking and Rock..." she fixed him with a baleful stare, "...There is a world of difference between technically dead and permanently dead. I trust we won't need to go over the fine point of that difference you and I. Two Hands, that goes double for you. You're here to keep him out of trouble, not get into it yourself. We are a long way from home and a lot of unfortunate things can happen between here and Thailand, unfortunate and quite untraceable things. Are we clear?"

Rock and Revy left the hotel and Revy turned to her partner "OK what the hell was she saying when she was wailing on Boris."

"Cultural idioms don't always translate well."

"Fuck that what was she saying to him?"

"Roughly translated, she was screaming what's my name bitch. He answered with her proper name and that was when she really started laying into him. She only let him up after he called

her captain and ma'am a few times. This is getting out of hand. I don't like this."

"Normally I'd be telling you not to stress about it, but you might have a point. Boris was coming down off something. I've seen my share off druggies in my time and Boris was whacked on something. He did it in the last few hours too."

"...And Boris doesn't do drugs. At least as far as I know."

"Come on, Boss wanted you to figure out what Sawyer was after and that sounds like the best place to start. There can't be too many places a guy like Boris can score and not stand out like a sore thumb." The two of them departed in a taxi. Thus missing when Boris himself exited the hotel looking tired and distracted.

Boris was humiliated but it had less to do with Okajima and the gun-woman seeing him disciplined it was that he had forgotten his place. Even now his mind was filled with thoughts of Isley, her eyes, her smile, her smell - oh god that smell. A brisk walk was the way to go. He would break himself of this fascination. Suddenly a car swerved across several lanes and stopped in front of him. Cobblepot poked his head out the window.

"Boris old man, a fine afternoon, you Russians don't half keep a man waiting do you?"

"There was a legal difficulty with Gun-woman. She and Okajima are off resolving everything now."

"Ah the local constabulary, I have had my own run-ins with that bunch of primates. But I brought along a guest."

Pamela stepped out of the car. She glided effortlessly over to him taking his face in her soft hands. "Look at you Boris you look terrible what happened?"

"It was The Captain, I was inexcusably informal with her and she ...well she has been under stress. My indiscretion did not help matters."

Pamela removed her gloves and stroked his face gently. "Poor Boris you know a woman of strength... real strength doesn't like it when her subordinates forget themselves. I understand her fury but I'm sure she forgives you as I do." she leaned in to kiss him deeply. Cobblepot watched as a euphoric smile spread across Boris' scarred face. Pamela had him completely under control.

Boris felt warmth flooding his body and as Pamela leaned in to kiss him again all thought of Balalaika slipped away. "How do you feel now?" Isley asked him.

Cobblepot noted there was coldness in her eyes that did not match the seductive tone of her voice.

"Thank you, I feel so much better." Boris muttered drunkenly.

"It can be like this all the time you know. You and me together, you just have to do a small favor for me."

"Anything, Anything at all."

"I want to see the inside of that wonderful ship you came into port with and I'd like to meet the rest of The Deep Strike team you brought with you."

"They are a rough bunch ma'am I'm not sure, they might behave inappropriately with you."

Isley sounded annoyed at his hesitation, "I can take care of myself Boris, Now, you will do as I've asked won't you please?"

Boris so wanted to make this perfect woman happy, "Of course we could go now."

"Of course we can." she turned to Cobblepot "Get out." she snapped.

"What?" Penguin whined, "...But its my car."

"...And I'm borrowing it for a few hours. We tried it your way now we are doing it mine."

"...And what am I doing while your playing around with Boris?"

"Getting ready to move my plants and supplies to Balalaika's ship once Gotham is a ghost town we'll need to ship my lovely children out of town. If your contingency is in place then we can move as soon as I have Hotel Moscow's leader under my control."

"We took care of the most of the cops with that toxin of yours the rest are stretched so thin they wont be able to do squat that leaves only the Batman. I doubt even he can take on a whole army by himself."

"Then get everything ready I want this city locked down when we make our move." Isley stepped forward and caressed Cobblepot's face. He sighed at her touch, "Get me what I want and I'll give you what you want Oswald...everything you want."

"Now there is an image that will sweeten the rest of my day."

"Get moving Birdman. If this Balalaika is everything they say we don't need Mikhail and Vassily anymore. You know what happens when useless people disappoint me."

Cobblepot bleached, "You didn't have to kill Freddie I would have dealt with him."

"He was spying on you. The video he shot was the only link to you and your operations and after the Catwoman broke into the office last night I'm surer then ever killing Freddie was the best idea. If Balalaika had not been dropped into our laps we'd have no way of making our scheme happen."

"Don't worry about Mickey and Vass, It's long past time I dealt with those two."

"Then I'll meet you back here when our tasks are finished." Pamela turned to Boris who had settled in beside Pamela. She caressed his face as they drove away. "Now Boris tell me everything about your Captain I want to know it all and if there is time I want to hear about this lovely city you came from Roanapur it sounds like a place I could make into a green paradise. You want that don't you Boris."

"Oh yes Pamela, I love the Green."

"We are so close Boris you can call me Ivy, my very special friends call me Ivy."

"Yes Ivy." Boris slurred for he truly loved The Green loved it now more then anything.


	6. Chapter 6

Rock's Story

* * *

I could tell from the look on Revy's face that she was in a bad mood. We were in a bar outside Chinatown. Where I was using both my cell phone and a pay telephone that looked like it had been installed by Alexander Graham Bell himself. The Lagoon Couriers office phone kept going to machine and there was no answer at either the Church of Violence or Chang's Headquarters.

I finally rejoined Revy dropping into my chair with a sigh. "Bad news first or Good News?" I asked with tired eyes.

She shook her head "No way there could be good news with that wet puppy look you're sporting."

"I've been trying to call Benny or Dutch and there's no answer. I even tried phoning Chang but..."

"Don't expect Boss Chang to do anything. As far as he is concerned, this is a Gotham problem. If Balalaika brings down the heat, it will be here and she will have to deal with it. If we want to make it to the end of the week I'm for cutting and running and I mean yesterday."

As we were talking, the door to the bar opened and Selina walked in. Catching sight of us right away, she bee lined for our table.

"Kyle," Revy snapped. "You might want to find a safer place to be."

"You might want to be in a safer place then Chinatown. Tommy Lao is not happy and he's openly talking about throwing down with your boss."

"Then he's a dead man she'll crucify him and that's if she's feeling charitable." Revy growled before pushing the beer aside. "This trip is going to hell and I need real hooch."

"The good news is I might have an exit strategy for you two. But you're going to have to trust me."

"...And I'm going to do that why exactly?" Revy growled, "I mean there are a lot of bars in this city and you found us pretty quick. I'm thinking that's not a co-incidence."

"Lover boy has been using unsecured phone lines to make his calls." Kyle answered while Revy gave me a dark look. "If you know the right tricks," Selina continued, "You can track that kind of thing and I know someone who knows all the right tricks."

Who." Revy asked suspiciously,

"Her name is Oracle and she told me how to find you."

"Why? Who is this Oracle and what's your angle in this Kyle."

"Rebecca when you were a kid you had a pretty dark streak. I knew it and everyone around you knew it. You could be a real bitch if you were in the mood. I need to know how far down the rabbit hole you got I've heard about Roanapur I've read some pretty scary stories and I need to know if there is anything left of the girl I used to know."

I was the one who answered, "I swear this was supposed to be just a business trip and whatever you know about Roanapur, know this. Everyone who comes to Roanapur looking for trouble will find it. But that's true of any place on earth including, I've noticed, Gotham City. We may be crooks, hell, scum of the earth is being charitable, but business is business."

Selina nodded at me with a grin smile, "Oracle asked me to bug your hotel suite. She heard what you said about the Washimine Princess. Anyone who could still find charity in their heart for someone who tied to kill them, might just be someone we can trust." She replied wryly. "Time to lay the cards down huh Big Sister."

Revy shook her head, "You can't have bugged the Hotel, and Boss sweeps for listening devices all the time, that's how she knew the food cart was bugged."

"You swept the Hotel ROOM, not the hotel or the buildings around it, if you had, you might have found the parabolic microphone on the next roof. Trust me sister, you live in a city with a guy in a bat costume who seems to be everywhere and nowhere and you start thinking outside the box; way, way outside."

I nodded at her, "Then you know we came here to deal with Mikhail and Vassily and get the business back on track."

"All right, first off you should know Cobblepot is working with a real piece of work, Isley."

"Are you kidding me?" Revy snorted, "That tree hugging loony...?"

"...That Tree hugging loony has a history of eco-terrorism that would shock the hell out of even a hardcore criminal like you. She is a really dangerous woman Rebecca "

"Is there any other kind?" I asked. That comment earned me a smack in the head from Revy.

Selina chuckled and then continued her story, "Pamela Isley graduated at the top of her class in chemistry and botany. She was always a big time earth nut but she got worse after she had a run in with the Floronic Man."

"Who the hell is that?" Revy asked.

"Jason Woodrue, he was a hardcore environmentalist, really hardcore, Had some really wild theories including that every major chemical weapon could be replaced by naturally occurring flowers or plants His other major theory was that he could create some kind of super steroid out of rare plant extracts."

"I remember reading about this once," I said in recollection, "he administered his cure to a bunch of his students and a few of them died."

"Not all of them, Isley survived she was even a part of the Class Action lawsuit filed by family's of the other people Woodrue experimented on. Case was tied up in litigation for years before everyone was bought off Isley got a nice fat pay-off."

"Guess that pissed her off a little."

"Funny thing is she started dating Woodrue for a while they were together when he died of an acute allergic reaction to plant toxins."

Revy snorted, "Well that's a little too co-incidental if you ask Me." she replied snidely.

"A few people would agree with you but there was no evidence that Isley administered any kind of poison and the cops dismissed her as a real suspect. That wasn't the only thing she's skated on. She's been investigated in connection to the bombing or destruction of over a dozen firms with varying degrees of environmental mischief to their credit. She's even tried kidnapping and assault. Usually corporate executives running companies too big for her to bomb."

"How'd a hot little number like that slip though the cracks?"

"She picks her targets well. Male, married and in posts that make it problematic if they try and press charges assuming they survive."

"Survive are you joking?"

"Its not just poison. One guy choked to death on plant spores he inhaled, another somehow ended up being stabbed to death by a thorn bush he fell into while golfing. Another guy died of a reaction to this wife's make-up and lipstick. The only connection is that they were all on the hit list of radical environmental groups for doing harm to the planet."

"Let me guess, Isley's Earth First Organization," Revy growled, "What's her secret?"

"Nobody knows but somehow she can make people do what she wants them to with very few exceptions. She's been arrested loads of times and every time she skates. Judges let her off the hook, jury's can't or won't convict her, people get around this woman and its like they become her best friend."

"So why aren't we drooling over her then?" Revy asked

"I have no idea but I did some checking and Isley has been in Gotham for a few weeks now. Round about the same time Cobblepot and the Russians started working together,"

"Wait, you mean Volchek and the Russians started dealing with Penguin cause the plant chick worked her mojo on them?"

"Cobblepot is a middleman," Selina explained, "he prefers working behind the scenes and keeping his head down. Suddenly he's openly dealing with the Russians and shipping black market materials around town like they were stereo components. That's not normal, in this town, not normal is a red flag that weird stuff is going down."

I was starting to see the pattern, "It might explain why Mikhail has been so bad at hiding the fact he's skimming money and why Volchek and Vassily are so panicked by Balalaika." I mused thoughtfully.

Revy sneered, "Then she's dead when the Boss finds out. This chick has no chance against Big Sister.

There is no way she could get any kind of hold over her."

"That's not so true I saw ...I mean a friend saw Boris at Cobblepot's last night and I think he was high on whatever love drug she uses, Cobblepot too. She was ordering him around like a puppet."

"I'd like to see her try that with Boss Balalaika," Revy laughed, "I mean guys can get stupid when a chick is hot enough But Rules One and Two of living in Roanapur are - You do not fuck with Balalaika or Hotel Moscow."

* * *

Balalaika looked at the picture of her and The Chechen. His arms around her, A smile upon her unscarred face. Her grandfather had not been pleased at her taking up with the young Chechen soldier. But his smile his touch, when they were together in the dark he felt just like any other man. After her wounding, the look of nervous fear on his face when he looked at her, that was just like other men too.

The situation was a nightmare. Indeed the only other story of note was a strange sickness that was sweeping through the city. Balalaika wondered how this situation could get much worse.

The Telephone rang it was the bellhop warning her a mousy man in an ugly coat was rushing up to see her. Balalaika was more then ready for Volcheck when he burst in the door.

"I'm tired of your escapades. Weeks I've spent working on this deal - weeks, and your people are dragging our names into the papers. I want you gone, you hear me you lunatic. I want you out of this city by the end of the day."

Balalaika looked at the huffing puffing man like he was an insect. The cold rage that filled her eyes had Volchek cringing even as she hauled him into the air.

She slammed him into a chair. "Listen very carefully I am not going anywhere not until every disloyal piece of scum has been dealt with -that includes you, or did you think I wouldn't find out about your dirty deals."

"What are you talking about?"

"Lying to me is just about the stupidest thing you can do right now. I want the truth and if I have to carve it out of your lying ass I will."

"It wasn't me it was the woman." Volchek squealed.

"What woman?"

"She came to Vassily first. Suddenly he was trying to ship materials into the city - chemicals, plants, and all kind of things. She was making something from them. Nukhaev put a stop to it She tried to convince him but she couldn't. Then she turned to Cobblepot and abandoned Vassily."

"Nukhaev refused?"

"He didn't trust her she was an agent of Ra's-al-Ghul - The Demon's Head."

"What did they do Penguin and this woman, what did they do when Nukhaev refused them?"

"They never got a chance to do anything. The Joker thing was upon us and then Mikhail killed Nukhaev shot him and claimed that Joker made him do it."

"What about you, why would you get involved?"

"Vassily asked for my support and The Woman she was so ...everything she said made sense, everything. It was just easier to do what she said. She promised that The Demon's Head would grant me power and Immortality."

"So you betrayed the company for a woman ...a woman

"I tried to resist her but you can't... I can't think when I'm around her."

"Who was this woman?"

"Isley, Pamela Isley she's some kind of scientist."

"The Joker's Woman says someone in our employ tried to kill him. She claimed it was Russian Mob was that you or Mikhail?"

"Mikhail it had to be, The Joker knows that Mikhail murdered Nukhaev. I think he also knew Vassily and I were doing business with Ra's-Al-Ghul's organization."

"I've heard of this Demon's Head. They'd happily see every one of us dead, and you wanted their help? Are you stupid as well as insane?" Balalaika slapped Volchek,"I think you are the one who'll soon be looking for a new position Volchek. The senior board takes a dim view of embezzlement and conspiracy."

"You aren't going to kill me?"

"Don't thank me just yet, by the time the senior management are done with you, you'll wish I had killed you. If I do that though, those fools back home might try and make me take over operations here in Gotham City. The last thing I want is to end up having to run this place. No I'll let the board deal with you, but Mikhail ...Vassily those two idiots are mine."

She looked up as Boris entered the room at the head of a small squad of Hotel Moscow troops. The burly Sergeant was dragging Mikhail and Vassily behind him. Behind them came Cobblepot twirling his umbrella. Both men had been roughed up some with Mikhail's face baring some deep scratches

"Comrade Sergeant, I ordered you to remain on the Zeleska?"

"I've brought Mikhail and his partner, Cobblepot has helpfully given us the proof that he was responsible for Nukhaev's death and covering up Vassily's thievery."

"How fortunate I was just thinking we needed to focus on our mission. Still why is Mister Cobblepot here, this seems like more of a family discussion."

"Think of it as peace offering. I want you on my side and I don't need them anymore."

"How unfortunate for you Mikhail." Balalaika sneered with a cruel smile.

"You're making a mistake. I swear it wasn't me," The panting gangster pointed at this partner, "...It was him he was stealing..."

"You betraying piece of shit," Vassily swore, "You sold me out."

"Volchek has helpfully sold you both out. I doubt he will last long once the senior board are done with him but he'll at least live longer then either of you useless pieces of garbage."

"I swear it wasn't my fault ...the Joker he made me..." Mikhail began but Balalaika slapped him across the face sending him crashing to the floor.

"I can smell your lies little man and the stench offends me." She grabbed him by the hair, dragging him across the room to throw him into a chair. "You sit right there. Don't move, don't breath don't even think and I might forget I want to tear you apart with my bare hands and kill you quickly...I wouldn't count on it but seeing the hope for a quick and painless death die in your eyes might amuse me enough that I'd consider it."

"We are also going to assist Doctor Isley, she requires assistance and I've committed our forces." Boris stated the men behind him nodded.

Balalaika felt the rage raising in her "You did what, how dare you?"

Pamela Isley came sauntering into the room, "Calm down Balalaika, this is not a challenge to your authority in fact I admire you." She said gleefully,

Doctor I have no time for your tree hugging nonsense. I do however have a subordinate that needs reminding of his place."

"I don't think beating him again will be necessary in fact I think we can work this out you see I've figured out what the problem between us is...in part it is jealousy."

Balalaika looked at the Doctor as if she was insane, "Jealousy, you think I'm jealous of you. Men are hardly that discriminating. A hint of ass or breast and their brains turn to mush but it takes more then that to control trained seasoned soldiers."

"Then it's fortunate I have more then tits and ass - I also possess pheromones. People do what I tell them to I won't bore you with the tech but I smell good, very, very good. You for some reason have a resistance just like your dead boyfriend but resistances can be overcome."

"Pheromones?"

"Yes the longer people remain in my presence the more control I have. It worked on your men including your Sergeant. It would have worked on Nukhaev in time and with a little booster I've invented it will work on you."

"So the reason my Sergeant has been acting as he has is because of you?"

"...And now it's your turn. Strong women are so hard to find we really shouldn't be enemies. So I think we should work together and destroy this city."

"...And just how do you think your going to get me to help you?"

"Look around Balalaika," Pamela smiled coldly. "No man ...or woman can resist me, not for long anyway. Your men couldn't and neither will you."

Balalaika looked at Boris and rest of her men, really looked at them, their faces bore a cold zombie like look. Their eyes were empty and devoid of anything familiar. They may have been holding the weapons and wearing the faces of her loyal Spaznet troopers but these were not her men. They were dolls, husks that apparently lived for one purpose alone now.

"Hotel Moscow belongs to Poison Ivy now Balalaika; and soon you will too. You and I are going to be friends one way...or the other."


	7. Chapter 7

Revy Rock and Selina arrived at the hotel, leaping from the cab and racing though the lobby ignoring the bellhop in their haste who noted their progress with a nod before heading toward a phone.

"You do realize Balalaika will be pissed when she finds out what's really going on." Revy whined .as they rode up in the elevator.

"Better her being pissed off then her being dead." Rock countered, "If Selina's right, this Ivy is playing for keeps."

Selina nodded, "I got up close and personal with this chick once and yeah I'm betting she'll use your Balalaika to get whatever she wants then abandon her when it's over."

They entered the hotel suite to find the room crowded. Penguin was propping up the wet bar, a cigarette smoldering away. Balalaika stood over a map of Gotham surrounded by her men including Boris. Volchek and Vassily danced around the fringes trying to make themselves important but Mikhail was seated in a chair sniveling.

"Good, you're back." Balalaika said waving Rock and Revy forward; "We were concerned we might have to do this without you, especially you Two Hands."

"What's the deal Big Sis, are we making a move?" Revy asked.

"Yes, we are assaulting police headquarters. They have bio-agents there that we require for our operations. My team will assault the building, securing the canisters, and returning them to the Marie Zeleska for refit and deployment."

Boris nodded, "I will take a small squad and secure the Marie Zeleska. The rocket launchers will be ready when you arrive. What about you Cobblepot?"

"Don't worry about me - The Pinch I had built will have the city locked down. Flip of the switch and this city will go from digital age to Dark Age in a heartbeat. Once the gas hits, the city will tear itself apart."

Balalaika frowned at the map in front of her, "Gotham City's power systems are built like a spiders web with Wayne Tower at its center. Your device will be best used there."

"Will we need to defend Cobblepot at the tower?" Boris asked.

"This town is lousy with guys who'll do anything you say if you give them enough money and firepower. I have both."

Balalaika nodded, "Good, once power is cut, my team can make its exit from One Police Plaza making for the dockyards and rendezvousing with Boris and The Zeleska." Balalaika turned to the rest of her men, "Cobblepot's device will disrupt communications. We will be dependent on timing and audacity - two things we have always excelled at."

"Whoa, hold on there Big Sister, Why are we helping Cobblepot? And assaulting the police in Gotham seems a little high profile. I mean that would be a big deal back home let alone here."

Balalaika stared at Revy calmly, "I have reassessed the situation Two Hands, I now see Gotham is a cancer that needs to be cut down. The bio-agent will aid us in that plan."

"...And the millions who will die as a result, what about them?" Rock asked quietly.

Balalaika gave him a cold smile, "They will contribute to a greater beauty then they are part of now. Their bodies will be absorbed into The Green to be remade anew."

Revy was protesting but Selina stopped her "It's no use she belongs to Ivy now. She's just like Penguin and Boris."

"I thought I smelled something familiar." Isley said as she sauntered into the room. "Give the woman a prize for boldness."

"You," Selina's growled, "what the hell are you doing here?"

"I might ask the same Miss Kyle - or should I call you Catwoman." Pamela snapped, "You might not be wearing your mask but the orchids you touched while breaking into Cobblepot's office left their mark on you. A very distinctive smell."

Selina turned to Rock and Revy, "We have to go. Your boss is her slave and unless you want to end up the same way we have to get away from her."

"I wouldn't dream of you leaving," Ivy said smoothly, "at least not before I know what you've shared about my plans for the city."

"You mean your plan to make the world a better place by killing every living thing in it." Rock snapped.

"...Not every living thing Rock, Just mankind, but not to worry, there will always be a place for you in my Garden of Eden, How you serve is up to you companion or compost ... it's your choice. Don't you want to be my on my side don't you want to be my friend?" Rock heard her voice. It felt like it wasn't just in the room but inside him, in his most secret places.

"Hey, dumb-ass this aint the time to be spacing out." Revy snarled. Something about her voice yanked him back from the dark pool his mind had been sinking into. He was in another place another time hearing Revy ask him almost the same thing.

"What side you on Rock?" Revy had asked him so long ago...so long ago.

"I'm standing right here where I've always been Revy." He said drunkenly.

Revy cursed and pulled her guns. Suddenly every gun in the room was out and pointing at someone.

Rock cursed his head for numbers it made it way too easy to see they were badly out gunned.

"Secure that weapon Two Hands." Balalaika snarled with no trace of friendliness in her voice, "You might take one or two of us but even you can't shoot everyone in the room and your little friends will end up very dead."

"Rebecca," Pamela said soothingly, "You'll be so much happier on my side. Just give in."

"Actually I have an Option B," Rock held up the vial in his pocket. "A couple vials of this decimated the GCPD. I'm guessing there is enough here that breaking it open will make for a bad day across the board."

Balalaika scoffed, "Come on Rock, do you really expect me to believe you could pull that trigger, condemn everyone, me, your new little friend and of course your precious Revy to death."

"It's like I keep saying Miss, I'm a villain-in-training." Rock looked her steadily in the eyes.

"Enough of this charade!" Ivy snapped, she grabbed Volchek's pistol and shot at Rock.

Rock cried out as the hot fire of the bullet tore into his arm.

Selina grabbed him hauling him out the door while Revy snapped off a few rounds to keep everyone's head down as the three darted for the dubious safety of the hallway.

"You stupid fool you've killed us all." Volchek screamed at Ivy, slapping her in his anger. She looked at him coldly as a trace of blood slid from her lip where the man had struck her.

"I engineered that poison." Ivy explained coldly "I know more about what makes it deadly then anyone on earth. Okajima had more to be afraid of then us. Its only dangerous to you in airborne form." She wiped her lip with her hand before slapping Volchek's face. "This poison on the other hand works almost instantly and only requires contact with the skin to make it deadly."

Balalaika snapped, "Volcheck You idiot, I know Okajima. He was bluffing." She turned to her men, "Get after them both." she screamed.

Volchek began to twitch and spasm his face turning an ugly shade of gray as he collapsed in a gurgling heap.

"What are the rest of you doing?" Balalaika screamed at the few who had not responded instantly to

Her commands "Get after them."

The Soldiers cleared off after Rock and Revy. The sounds of gunfire soon filled the hallway outside.

"You are too kind mistress." Balalaika smiled coldly as they watched Volchek die.

Ivy turned suddenly and embraced Balalaika. "I see now Balalaika I should have relied on you from the beginning you are everything they said you were and more. I just could not believe such a woman could exist for real."

"I am nothing more nor am I anything less then a soldier my lady."

"...And soon you will have new lands to conquer starting with your lovely little island paradise. Boris has told me of your conflicts with Mister Chang and the others. When we are done with this city we will go back to Roanapur. You and me together ...nothing will stop us, no one will dare."

* * *

Rock and Revy arrived in the hallway with Rock snatching a broom off a maid's cart and jamming it into the door.

"That will hold for about five seconds if we're lucky." Rock shouted.

The door banged hard cracking the broom.

"Apparently our luck is the shits as usual." Revy snapped gripping her guns. She aimed for the aiming for the door ready to let fly with both barrels.

Rock startled as his cell phone chirped, he glanced at it. "It's Oracle she's locked down the elevators."

"WE needed those to get out of here?" Revy cursed, "Now we're trapped."

"So are they..." Selina snapped then she looked around the hallway, "No elevators? Guess we're taking the Laundry chute."

"What," Revy squawked in protest, "I aint going down the damn laundry chute. What kind of dumbass...?"

"IF we don't, we die." Selina snapped digging into the bag she carried and producing a grappling wire.

"Since when did you start carrying around a grappling hook and wires?"

"A girl in Gotham has to learn to look out for herself. Sometimes that means becoming a gun-toting psycho, sometimes it means rocking the skin-tight ballistic leather and learning to use a bullwhip. Hey Rock, how were you with climbing the rope in gym?"

"I sucked." Rock muttered. "I'm thinking I'd better get really good, really fast or get dead really soon."

"Good call" Selina snapped.

"Can we trust some random person texting us?" Revy asked.

"Every person on the other side of that door wants us dead." Selina pointed out, "I'd go with the mysterious texting stranger if I was you."

The door exploded open so Revy without hesitation hurled herself on the maid cart riding it down the hallway while her Cutlasses blazed and roared, peppering the soldiers with gunfire.

Hotel Moscow returned fire even as one of Revy's shots managed to hit a fire extinguisher. A vaporous cloud spewed into the hallway blinding some and making her harder to see and hit.

Rock took one last look at Revy.

"Don't just stand there ya moron get down there if yer going?" She screamed as the cart crashed into the wall spilling her on the floor.

Rock didn't hesitate any longer and rolled into the darkness of the laundry chute.

Revy was actually impressed. The old Rock would have been whining, wondering if they were going to live or die. This new and improved version seemed more devil-may-care. She had to admit it was change she could get behind.

She fired off a few more rounds before she too hurled herself though the chute door with a war cry sliding into blackness.

* * *

The Room was suddenly filled with soldiers again. Boris waited until His Captain had freed herself from Ivy's tight hug. "The Lagoon crew has fled. They used the laundry chute," he reported.

"The laundry chute?" Balalaika nodded, "...Revy, I'll bet, she always did enjoy a little theatrical flair to her work."

"They are gone Miss," Boris concluded, "The elevators aren't working either. By the time we get down there, I'm guessing they will be blocks away."

"Then you've failed me Boris," Ivy hissed, "and failing Poison Ivy has a rather strict punishment." She was raising her bloodstained hand to slap at Boris' face when Balalaika reached out to snag her wrist.

Ivy saw Balalaika's eyes darkening, The Russian mob mistress' mind was so strong and Ivy's control was not complete. "...Of course I yield to your experience Balalaika." Ivy relented and the dark look faded. Hotel Moscow's Queen was back under her sway ... for now.

Balalaika smiled coldly, "Chasing those two would be a waste of time and resources better spent on the operation."

"What do you mean, won't they be a problem?"

"I'd be disappointed if they didn't try something, Separately they wouldn't be much of a handful but combined and with a mission to occupy them, they have proven to be surprisingly tenacious and Two Hands has earned her reputation for spreading chaos."

"Then we will have to find a way to get them off our backs for awhile." Ivy said gently.

"I have a thought." Cobblepot mused, "Tommy the Tong Lord was most anxious to renew acquaintances with the young lady."

Boris nodded "As a teenager, she gunned down several of their street soldiers."

Penguin smiled wolfishly "I'm betting that left something of a bad taste in a few Triad mouths perhaps its time Tommy-Boy's gangbangers got up close and personal with the boogey-man, or girl in this case, Tommy used to seize control of the gangs?"

"An interesting suggestion Cobblepot. How do you propose to make it happen?"

"Easy, violent tendencies plus a surfeit of accessible weaponry always make for pliable cannon fodder."

"Too true, Sergeant; escort Cobblepot to his base of Operations. Make sure his weapons are distributed to the Triad Gangs along with Hotel Moscow's wishes for good hunting."

"At once ma'am," Boris answered, "how will we make sure that The Gun Woman moves as we want her to?"

"By leaving her no other options, The Police here are so much more competent then they are back home I'll assume they can handle a simple sweep and search of the city. "

"Are you sure, Cobblepot and I already neutralized most of the force." Ivy was fascinated to watch Balalaika at work.

"...And now the few that remain will be too busy searching for Two Hands to bother to effectively patrol their own fortress at One Police Plaza."

"Are you sure this will work they will want to investigate?" Vassily asked.

"Then best we give them something to investigate." Balalaika said with an evil smile as she shot Vassily, "But Yes, I'm quite sure my plan will work perfectly." She shot him again before tossing the gun to one of her soldiers.

Mikhail was quaking in fear "you just ...you just..."

"You're quite safe...for now." Balalaika growled, "I wouldn't dream of using anything less then my own bare hands to deal with you. However I need you to sell the story of Revy's rage. You angered her and she shot you and your partner in a rage. Is that understood?"

"Yes ma'am I understand." Mikhail said his voice shaking with fear.

Boris smiled "They might find the story a little more believable if he has actually been shot ma'am."

"How right you are Sergeant it is good to know I can count upon you again. "

Mikhail watched in terror as she was handed another gun that she shoved into his body.

"Choose quickly," She hissed, "...belly or kneecap if you make me choose, I might recall how much I really want to kill you."

"Kneecap." he squeaked.

"How typical," The Mob Mistress sneered as she shot the man in the stomach, "Men get to choose their fates. Cowards are victims now and always."

Balalaika turned to Corporal Denisof, "Bind him up enough so that he doesn't bleed out. Then take him to the hospital. Take Gregor and Peter with you. I'd like you to borrow two of the City's disease control response vehicles."

"What ... why are we doing that?" Penguin snapped.

"...Because emergency vehicles have unfettered access to the city during a crisis - like the terrorist threat against the police you will call into the CDC fifteen minutes from now." Balalaika paused to look at Boris meaningfully. "Sergeant when you are at Cobblepot's see to it that the Mistress' plants are moved to the Zeleska. When we are finished with Gotham, she will need them to produce more of the toxin."

"I will detail a team."

"Then its time to remind the people of this city why they huddled in basements for fifty years in fear of our coming. Gentlemen, lets bring them hell."


	8. Chapter 8

Revy Rock and Selina were only a few blocks from the clock tower when, passing a storefront and the big screen TV therein, Rock saw a talking head posed before a picture of Revy with the words "murder suspect" superimposed across her snarling face.

Revy however had something far more pressing on her mind then the fact she was wanted for a murder she did not commit. "So Selina was there anything you left out when you were telling me what you were up to these days?" she growled.

"Come to think of it," Selina answered, "I've been a little curious about the whole mercenary pirate thing."

"Since when are you super hero?" Revy shot back.

"I-am-not-a-super**_hero_**." Selina hissed quietly, "The polite term is _Masked Adventurer_."

Revy stopped, "What is it with this town and the mask thing?" she asked.

"Its a symbol - Cats represent power, freedom, and control. When I'm in costume up on those roofs and the rubes are quaking in fear of Catwoman... it's a rush like you can't imagine."

"I get my kicks the old fashioned way." Revy snarled and downed two pills from a small bottle she carried.

Rock saw her and sighed, "Yaba -are you really taking yaba ...Now of all times?"

"Will you lay off about the fuckin' Yaba, It makes me feel better."

"It makes the pros who work the pole in the strip clubs and whore houses feel better too. Makes it so they don't give a rat's ass about the shit being done to them. You're better then them."

"What the hell is yaba?" Selina asked.

"Don't worry about it." Revy snapped.

"It's a drug, the dance club crowd like it cause they can go all night and all day. Same thing with ... " he paused in his rant looking at Selina as if he had spoken out of turn.

Selina was looking at him with a wry and amused look. " Go Ahead Rock, you can say it, Strippers and Hookers its popular among sex trade workers."

"When she's on it the most dangerous place to be is between her and anything she gets it into her head to kill."

"I don't hear you complain when I'm shagging your ass do I?"

"If I'm such a bad lay you need to get strung out to get though it then please let me know. "

"I'm not a strung out bitch."

"And I'm not the kind of scumbag who gets his kicks nailing those kinds of girls. You're my friend and maybe the best thing to ever happen to me in the hell that is my life. You're already awesome without drugs you don't need them."

Rock grabbed her then and kissed her full on the mouth. Selina watched shocked as Revy reacted with wide-eyed surprise before relaxing into the kiss.

There was beeping from Rock's phone but neither Rock nor Revy seemed inclined to answer at the moment, making out publicly as they were.

Selina slipped the phone out of Rock's pocket and answered it.

"This is Oracle, you three are getting close, keep heading toward the Watchtower. What the hell is going on Selina? The police have a dragnet out. Mikhail Petrovic just showed up at Gotham Mercy with a bullet wound claiming The Gunwoman and her partner tried to kill him and did kill his partner Vassily."

"Oracle, they didn't kill anyone Vassily was still alive when the three of us left. I am going to guess that Poison Ivy's working her magic."

"Great, our mutual friend isn't answering my pages so we might be on our own for a while. See if the three of you can make it back here without blowing yourselves or anyone else up. Whatever we are going to do we'll have a better chance of doing it from here."

"Mutual Friend?" Revy asked having finally come up for air.

"Selina gave her a cagey smile, you've already met - at Cobblepot's party," She reminded Revy "I'm thinking you made quite an impression on him."

"You mean..."

"Hey " Rock snapped, " less chatty more getting us the hell off the streets. I've had more then my fill of people trying to kill me today, toss in being hunted for murder, my boss working with a genocidal whack-job and this day is getting the gold star for screwed up."

"You think this is bad," Selina chuckled, "you should be here during one of the Joker's rampages. You're getting an easy ride, trust me on this."

* * *

Oracle was watching the trio progress though the city she almost didn't hear when Batman entered the room. He was moving ...not quite right. "Alfred said you were sick, that he found you unconscious. How are you even walking around, let alone in costume?"

"Rage and determination are a hell of a cure-all." Batman stumbled but waved her away when she went to help him. "Ivy kissed me at the party, gave me some kind of poison. It's killing me but I won't die, not yet. Not before I figure what she is doing in my city and stop her."

"Selina is on her way here. The Gunslinger and Okajima are with her, Hotel Moscow is moving and they needed the police hunting for the both of them so they framed the gunslinger for Vassily's murder."

"Gordon's resources will be at the breaking point if Balalaika moves now she'll walk all over Sawyer's Special Task force without breaking a sweat."

"Then we don't have much time."

The Dark Knight held up a small phial. "Another sample of my blood, test against the gunwoman and Okajima when they get here."

"Revy? Why her blood?"

"...Because she doesn't like Ivy. She avoided her at the party, Okajima as well. Whatever control Ivy is exerting doesn't affect them. If we can find an antidote then Ivy and Penguin will still lose this battle no matter what happens to me."

"We'll beat them Bruce." Oracle promised.

The tapes you had Selina make will clear the Gunslinger and Okajima but it won't matter if we're all dead."

"The World's Greatest Detective strikes again...what gave me away?"

"You're the only logical person. You know Selina, have assisted her in the past, in hindsight her deciding to start probing Hotel Moscow right after I asked you to find out everything you could was ...a little co-incidental."

"We need her help Bruce we need all their help."

Batman clenched his fist, a subtle movement for anyone else but Oracle had known him long enough, he was in pain - a lot of pain. "I'm hardly in a position to argue the point." He whispered harshly.

* * *

Revy's mercenary instinct began kicking in. "We are being stupid," she whined as she stopped in the street, "we got to get out of town."

"Not an option anymore darling, " Selina sighed, "I'm afraid you're stuck in it with the rest of us."

"Oh yeah?" Revy asked her, "Give me a reason why I shouldn't head for Gotham International and leave you morons to work this shit out on your own?"

"I'll can give you three," Rock pointed out, ticking them off on his fingers, "Ivy is about to kill every man woman and child in Gotham City and when she is done here she will move on, maybe even to Roanapur.

"Not My problem, I can still run and we stand a better chance if we get away from Bird boy and Weed-chick."

"Sunny point number two, Ivy has control of the boss and you can bet she'll try and get Chang and every one else we know. If we don't stop her here and now, then we can look forward to fighting an army filled with everyone we know and care about."

Revy shook her head, "...Still not feeling an overwhelming urge to put my ass on the line."

"Which brings us to Sunny point number three, you are the only one who has resisted her domination completely. She's already tired to kill both of us and you can bet she'll try again."

"What about Kyle?"

Selina shook her head, "Don't look at me. I've already faced her once and that was enough for me. She almost got in my head. It was a miracle I made it out alive. Besides, I got a more practical reason to stay Sis." Selina pointed out, "This chick has just screwed you pretty harshly. She and Penguin are laughing at you. I've read the reports and screwing with the best of the best from Roanapur is usually a death sentence or did that change when I wasn't looking?"

"What are you saying?" Revy growled.

"What I'm saying," Selina said with a smirk, "Is that I have never known you to lie down for anyone or let anyone else screw with you and get away with it."

Rock gave her a sarcastic smile, "Do you really want to show up on Eda or Shenhua's doorstep and tell them that a freaky tree hugger and a fat momma's-boy with a few tricks up his umbrella got the better of the great Revy Two-Hands."

Revy glared at him, "Hey if you got a plan Sunshine I'm all ears, otherwise shut your pie hole," she snapped while poking him.

"Of course I don't have a plan, yet..." Rock said with an uncharacteristic confidence.

"...Which is why we are running to The Clock tower. Oracle will know what to do."

"What about This Batman of yours where's he at?"

"You're asking me? I spend most of my time trying to AVOID The Batman. I'm a professional thief remember?"

Soon enough they had reached the Clock tower, a tall imposing building reaching into Gotham's night sky. A massive subway train roared overhead along the railway that fed into and out of the massive tower Selina ignored the obvious door walking down a side alleyway. To an ordinary looking dumpster she reached behind it and triggered something causing the dumpster to rise revealing a door. Selina placed her palm on the door's window causing a bright flash and the door to open allowing them into a tiny alcove. This proved to be an elevator, the ride was quick and when the door opened they were in a large room with floor to ceiling servers and training equipment.

From out of the shadows stepped a smallish woman with dirty blonde hair. She looked at Selina

"Thought you'd miss out on all the fun," she said with a smile.

"Revy, Rock, I'd like you to meet Oracle."

Revy blinked and then started laughing, "You have to be kidding me? Our nuts are in the wringer and this is the best you got Kyle. Maybe you aren't paying attention. We are going up against Balalaika and every member of Hotel Moscow she brought with her. Against that, we don't need a Poindexter. We need a fucking army not some runt who looks like she's spent her life shoved inside a locker."

Oracle didn't flinch instead getting a weird smile on her face, "I would think after meeting Benny's friend Jane. You'd know not to judge by appearances alone."

"Hey Jane and her little friends are one thing I aint relying on them to keep me alive...how do you know about them anyway."

"Welcome to the digital age where tiny bits of data are all you need to background even the most isolated person." Oracle sat at a computer pressing a button. Rock watched as information flowed across the screen. He recognized some of the data detailing the comings and goings of the people of Roanapur.

"Whenever anyone travels, shows ID real or fake, or passes a security check, they leave data behind that with the right software can be used to track the movements of anyone anywhere at anytime."

Oracle poked at another button freezing the images on a photo that was very familiar to Rock and Revy. It was a picture of the Lovelace Maid known to one and all as Roberta. Well almost everyone called her Roberta. Revy, like she did for most people, had a more colorful expression.

"Glasses Bitch?" Revy snapped

"Whatever you call her...she's still one of the more sought after terrorists in the world. She was red flagged the second she left South American airspace. Since she made two trips to Roanapur, Interpol and various other agencies ran background on every person she came in contact with. Same thing with Hansel and Gretel and of course your hacker friend Jane. Combining that data with the detailed reports filed by the American Marines The Bloodhound hunted though the streets of Roanapur and I have details about everyone of consequence in your little city."

"Great," Revy sneered, "your well informed. I bet you can tell me how many times I've said fuck in the last two years."

"Two hundred and fifty nine," Oracle snapped, "which includes all the ones you dropped since I had Selina start running surveillance on you and your boss." the master hacker poked Revy in the chest, "I'm not just well informed - I am very well informed."

"That doesn't get us the hell out of the city or help us lay a beat down on Ivy or bird boy. How did those two freaks got our boss to sign on to stomping police headquarters?"

"I have no idea and it hardly matters. If we can't stop your boss then she will unleash Ivy's toxins across the whole city."

"Boss said something about bio-agents at One Police Plaza and everyone freaked out when Rock pulled that green crap out of his pocket."

"What green crap?" Oracle asked.

Rock handed her the vial from his pocket "I found it under Harvey Bullock's desk its so messy under there I don't think the sweep teams even saw it. Everyone but ivy was afraid to even move when I pulled this out at the hotel I'm guessing it's important."

"It is." Said a harsh whisper that came from the shadows. Revy startled and pulled her weapons but Batman ignored her as he walked past her. "Have you learned anything else, anything at all?"

Selina shook her head, "All I know is what I already told Oracle. Ivy is or was working with Ra's-Al-Ghul. I think they said something about shutting the city down but I have no idea how."

Rock held up his head, "Penguin said something about a pinch but I have no idea what it means."

"Pinch is a ...doohickey for shutting down electrics." Revy explained, When Rock looked at her like she had grown a second head she sneered at him, "What, you think cause all I do is blow stuff up I don't know stuff like that?"

Rock could tell when he was being baited, "What's a pinch?" he asked simply.

"Like the lady says, Pinch is a bomb..." Selina started before The Dark Knight interrupted her

"An EMP bomb to be precise." He explained curtly.

Oracle nodded, "Set it off and any unshielded power system will be rendered useless."

"Why would he want to black out the entire city there is only so much usefulness to causing that kind of chaos?" Rock mused,

Oracle swore, "Was Balalaika concerned about getting out of the building? One Police Plaza, was she planning how to get out?"

"Not as far as I could tell. She was more concerned with getting in."

"That means she already knew how she was going to leave." Batman turned to the servers, "Oracle give me a look at the water and sewage map."

Oracle hopped back on her terminal and tapped away soon they were looking at a grid pattern showing the Gotham City underground.

"Why did you build your sewers with so many support structures?" Rock asked as he looked

Oracle explained, "Most of its redundant, Gotham's underground was ripped up and rebuilt over the course of a few centuries."

Batman flicked though image after image before settling on one old map. "Oracle overlay this one across the modern plans."

Oracle did so Batman tapped a few more keys. "That's how he's been doing it. Cobblepot's family helped build the City of Gotham. I was looking for signs of recent construction but Penguin didn't build it, a member of his family did."

Batman tapped a few more keys and a sepia toned photograph appeared showing a man who looked like Penguin standing looking miserable next to a taller man. Rock pointed at him. "Isn't that Elliot Ness of the Untouchables - are you saying the Cobblepot family were bootleggers?"

"You mean Penguin has been smuggling crap out of here using old bootlegging tunnels."

"That's why he needs to black out the city." Oracle explained, "In the case of a catastrophic power failure the inspection hatches the power company uses are rigged to open all at once. Those tunnels were built directly over the old ones."

"Anyone wants to bet that one of those hatches is directly under Police Headquarters." Revy snickered.

"It's even worse, those hatches connect almost every major building in town including banks, the jewelry exchange..."

"Nice, bird boy can rob the city blind while everyone is choking on their own vomit."

"... But how is Balalaika he going to get Ivy's poison into the water supply?" Rock asked.

"Boss doesn't have to do that." Revy answered, "Remember those packages from The Church of Violence ... Collapsible rocket launchers, she likes those because they can be easily modified. Basically you unscrew the warhead, load it up with what you like and baby's got a brand new kill-switch."

"Now we know the delivery method." Batman snapped, "She'll launch from her ship a few miles out to sea. She can cover the city in Ivy's poison while leaving her completely safe."

"Didn't Penguin say something about bringing his bomb to ...The Clock tower."

"Makes sense if you want shut down water and power you need access and the central hub is underneath our feet. The only other place would be one of the relays around town but they would only short power for a few minutes at most before the central computers compensated."

"Penguin Munitions and One Police Plaza are on opposite ends of the city from here. I can't be in both places." The Dark Knight looked at Selina, "I need your help."

"I thought you worked alone."

"Balalaika got where she is by being one hundred percent adaptable. If I'm going to beat her then I have to be as well."

"I'm still not cool about going up against the boss." Revy whined.

"Then you can help me stop Cobblepot," Selina said curtly, "we just have to keep him and his goons from bringing that Bomb to the Clock tower."

"Meanwhile I'll deal with Balalaika at the Police Station. Oracle, warm up the Batwing. If I can't stop her there, she'll make for the Zeleska. I'll need a way to follow."

He shuddered and seemed to falter for a second. Oracle looked at him, "Are you sure your all right. You don't look so good?"

"I can't afford to be sick. Gotham can't afford for me to be sick. Use Okajima's vial as a base. See if you can come up with a antidote."

"Maybe we can tilt the odds in our favor. Revy I'll need some blood."

"What you want my blood? What the fuck for?"

"I need to know why Ivy's poison hasn't screwed with you."

It took some arguing and bargaining but Revy was finally convinced to part with some of her blood. Rock was easier to convince and soon Oracle looking at the samples under a powerful microscope.

"Ivy's spoors are in both samples in high quantities," The Technical Mistress reported, " Revy's has some kind of meth-amphetamine running though her system." She reported, "It has a partial plant base that's blocking the pheromones from reaching your neurotransmitters."

"English bitch, English." Revy grumbled.

"The Yaba, you've been taking," Rock explained. "Something about it is making it so Ivy can't screw with your head."

Batman snorted, "I doubt the madness drug itself is doing anything. It's the fixing agents your supplier uses to make it. Oracle, distill a booster it might not be much but it will give us an edge."

"I'm on it."

"What about Rock why isn't he being effected?" Selina asked.

"He might be, the spoors lower inhibitions and effect decision making skills. Makes it easier for Ivy to persuade people to do what she wants. I'm going to guess he has some kind of strong focus that's been helping him hold off her influence."

"Strong focus," Selina asked before she realized what Oracle was driving at, "you mean... oh that is rich."

"Shut it Kyle," Revy snarled.

"What are you talking about, am I sick?" Rock asked.

"Just the oldest kind of sick Rock," Oracle teased, "Ivy can't work her chemical magic on you cause ...you're already under someone else's influence. That's what's keeping you stable."

"Ah isn't that cute," Selina snickered, "Rocky is in love with Revy. Where do you want me to register the china pattern Sis?"

"Hey Kyle, I got a gun. Don't piss me off." Revy snapped.

"I'm going to hazard a guess the real reason is the spoors effects are cumulative. The more you take

In, the easier it is for Ivy to control you. You and Rock haven't been near her much and Rock has been thinking of you any time he was."

"...And now we're gonna march our asses out there to get them shot off so we can be big goddanm heroes. I knew I was on the wrong fucking side -I knew it."

"...And yet you're here and not on that plane out of Gotham Airport. Seems to me Rock isn't the only one whose decision-making skills have been screwed with."

"As for getting your ass shot off," Oracle said thoughtfully, "that might not be as much of a problem as you'd think. What are you, a size five or a six?"

Selina snorted, "in her dreams she's a size six. Down here on planet real ...she's a size eight."

"Why? " Revy asked suspiciously

Tommy Lao climbed from his car surrounded by his thugs. He watched as several Russians loaded several trucks before departing.

"Cobblepot we will rendezvous on the Zeleska." Boris said with a salute before climbing into the last truck and leaving.

"Penguin when you called I was tempted to ignore you." Lao snapped as Cobblepot waddled over to him.

"Then its a good thing my lad, you didn't. Uncle Oswald has some good news. Our Russian Mistress has jumped on the Cobblepot peace train and as a show of good faith she's letting you take care of some -old business."

"The girl, I wasn't planning on letting her leave the city anyway. Why should I do Balalaika's dirty work for her."

"...Because I'm making nice with the one thing that has brought gentlemen of the world together since the invention of the firearm..." he opened a chest to reveal a glittering array of sophisticated weaponry. "Guns ...lots and lots of shiny new guns and Balalaika's personal guarantee that if a significant amount of the bullets end up in a certain young gunslinger she won't feel too bad about it."

"Whets the catch?"

"The catch, if you want to call it that, is that I need cover while I drive the big rig to Wayne Tower where I'm going to set off a little piñata that will signal a whole new kind of festival of fun... This city will be delivered into your hands wrapped in a big bow. All you have to do is pull a trigger. You think you and the short bus rejects you call a gang can handle that?"

"...And you want the girl dead?"

"...First you do for me then you get to kill the little girl."

"...And the city will be mine to do with as I please when this is over?"

Penguin thought of the hundreds who would be dying along with Tommy Lao's army of thugs in a few hours time. "Thomas I can promise you this. After tonight this city will never be the same again."


	9. Chapter 9

A sleek black motorcycle tore thought Gotham's darkness. Astride the bike was Catwoman while Revy was riding behind her.

"This get up ain't half bad Kyle." Revy shouted over the Valkyrie-like howling of the engine. Revy was sporting a few bold fashion choices. "The jacket actually looks cool it doesn't feel like ballistic leather." she cooed. Under the jacket was a body suit whose clinging appearance disguised the many small yet functional pockets in which she could store all the ammo her guns would ever need.

"Breaths better too," Kyle replied,"Mine is made from the same stuff and this little number has allowed me to survive close range gunfire, a several story fall and --oh yeah, it makes me look hot, or should I say, it makes me look hotter."

"This thing feels so light --like butter. This thing is actually bulletproof?"

"...And shock absorbent, and fire resistant. You know this Revy, Oracle tested it for you before you would put it on."

"If that sneaky little bitch ever tries another stunt like a live fire test **while** I'm wearing what she's aiming at, I'll bury her out in Gotham Bay."

"Revy you wouldn't suit up unless you knew it wasn't just for show. Ah screw this, Here we are all grown up and I'm still spending half my time trying to keep you out of fights."

"...And the other half stirring up the shit that usually got me into those fights as I recall."

"At least your taste in men has improved since we were kids. I thought Rock was going to have a heart attack when you walked out in the outfit."

"I still think I look like some kind of butchy domme in this get-up. It feels a hell if a lot more comfortable then bondage gear ever did."

"Kind of the point, A little misdirection can really make all the difference. How are the shades by the way?"

Revy smiled. Normally, she wasn't one for wearing any kind of distracting eye wear. She had near-perfect eyesight and she had seen more then a few wannabes end up as slabs of meat on Sawyer the Cleaner's table because the cool shades they thought made them look so bad-ass blocked their vision at a crucial moment in a gunfight.

The wraparound shades she was wearing now however were a universe away from those poser fashion specs favoured by the mercenary gigolo Rotton among others. What looked like a simple fashion statement was in fact a state of the art HUD including on-board targeting, enhanced optics to take advantage of ambient light, sat communications, it even boasted a tiny digital timer.

"Why is there a clock and why is it wrong?" Revy complained.

"That's not a clock, that timer will let us know how much time we have to stop Penguin. We have to disable the truck BEFORE it reaches Wayne Tower."

"Revy nodded " I was listening dammit, take the truck down or Penguin will shut down the city and we're screwed."

"You OK back there?"

"Actually this crap is the most normal thing that's happened in the last few days. Someone fucks with me back home and I'd bury them , no reason that should change cause its Gotham. This is going to be fun."

"Just try and restrain the urge to massacre everyone."

"I'll do my best."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Cause you got smart since we were kids. Now get us there. it time to get this party started."

* * *

The truck was moving through the city core. Penguin had another of his helpers by the name of Rodney guiding the big rig while Thomas sat nervously in the back

"Mister C" Rodney called while glancing out the side window. "We got incoming -- looks like a motorbike with two babes coming up fast."

Cobblepot pulled out a pair of opera glasses, leaning out the window he peered at the oncoming warrior women. "Ah the cat and the brat, and on a motorcycle no less. If I wasn't going to kill them I might want to set up a webcam and charge money."

* * *

The girls saw the convoy of cars flanking a large semi pulling a trailer.

Revy cursed "Kick this puppy into high gear we gotta catch up to them."

"I'm working on it. "

"This crate has weapons?"

"Revy, focus. I got some goodies for taking out people chasing me but if I have to evade pursuit I've kind of screwed up on the whole sneaky thief enterprise."

"Let me worry about the cars." Revy said with wolfish glee.

Selina guided the bike between two of the sedans. The men inside began unloading ammo at the women. Revy leaned back stretching out her guns to shoot out the tires of the two cars simultaneously. The vehicles skidded out of control and smashed into buildings on opposite sides of the street.

They slid up beside another car. The young gang banger tried to shoot at the girls with a semi-auto rifle but his aim left much to be desired. Revy reached in grabbing the barrel and using it to bash the kid in the face with the butt of the weapon before tearing it from his grasp.

"Hey junior if your going to use a man's weapon you gotta learn how to fire it first." She flipped the weapon around and fired off short burst into the vehicle. Then she directed another short blast at the tires causing the car to skid and fishtail wildly before slamming into a wall.

Selina heard a whining sound of a engine before she saw the motorcycle slid out of a side street She saw the geisha twins astride the thing. Mounted on the cycle was a long rifle. Selina had less then a second to register the sheer size of the thing before heat and light raked the street and roadway before her exploded.

"We got geisha's incoming what the hell are they using?"

Revy looked back and was surprised when the specs auto focused allowing her to see the mounted long gun. "it's an anti-material rifle. Normally you'd use it to take out tanks and APC's."

The geisha were taking pot shots at Selina who weaved around the triad cars. Revy fired off a few rounds at the red clad assassins. The ninjas, far from holding their fire, blazed away indiscriminately blowing up several triad cars.

Pulling up beside one of the cars, Revy went to fire at the driver but the gun clicked empty. She hurled the rifle into the drivers face and then reached into the car to grab him and yanking hard the man who started screaming in panic. Selina was shocked at the tactic and braked suddenly Revy held her grip and the man was hauled from the vehicle to bounce and land with a bone crushing thud on the roadway.

Crouching on the back of the cycle Revy jumped to the trunk of the speeding car unloading a full clip of ammo in the vehicle which also skidded out of control. She leaped though the air to grab the racing truck, hauling herself onto the rooftop.

"That bitch is crazy." Selina whispered.

* * *

Maggie Sawyer was just finishing her paperwork when James Gordon entered her tiny office space.

"How's the report on the meeting with Hotel Moscow Queen of Mean going?" He asked her.

"Jim I've met some people as a cop, bad people, i would even say I met a few evil people. Hell i once had to interview Lex Luthor and that man really creeps me out. But her...when she looks at you ...the only way to describe it is... it must be like trying to stare down a Great White Shark."

"Our mutual friend is looking into it, I know how much you hate leaving things to a vigilante but..."

"Jim I've read the Roanapur files and you hired me to this job because I can look at the big picture. I've got some good people on my team, dedicated and skilled. But this Vladalina... Jim she was running her own Black Ops when I was chasing down purse snatchers and pickpockets. If sh comes at us with both barrels ... her people will chop us into fish chum."

"Don't count yourself out Maggie, Roanapur may be a tough town but we have our share of dangers here in Gotham City. The very fact shes trying to keep something of a low profile says that she doesn't want the full weight of the law on her neck."

Sawyer snorted, "A low profile Jim?"

"You said you'd read the files Maggie. Child Assassins, terrorists, hi-grade counterfeiting, if even half of what's in them is accurate, that Rebecca shot up a party shouldn't surprise us. That anyone was left ALIVE afterwards ... that's the surprising part."

"We'll just have to be thankful all her people seem content to sit in that huge freighter out at the dockyards."

Harvey Bullock joined them "Just got back from the hotel. Everyone there is singing the same tune, Mikhail and the Gunslinger got into it and shots got fired. She vanished along with her boyfriend and some unidentified female ... I knew that sneaky little nebbish was up to something."

"...and where was Hotel Moscow's leader when this was going on?"

"Depends on who you ask," Bullock grumbled, "OH by the by, that ship of hers, it put out to sea an hour ago. Nobody knows where it went and Coast Guard are having trouble tracking it."

"Maybe she's pulling stakes leaving the gunwoman in the lurch." Sawyer said hopefully.

Bullock chucked, "I'm not taking a suckers bet like that." he sneered.

A fire alarm stopped the conversation. The three headed for the outside of the building on the streets. CDC vans pulled up sirens wailing. Gorden watched as men in bio-hazard gear climbed from the back. One of them walked up to Gordon pulling his mask off as he did.

"Walker -- CDC," The man panted, "We got a threat that the building was going to be targeted again that something was missed the last time."

"Will you need assistance?"

"We got it covered --is everyone out of the building?"

"I've got a few men stationed in the basement level guarding the prisoners."

"I remember," Walker nodded and turned to the team at his back motioning them forward, "All right people lets do it right this time."

The dozen men entered the building. Walker was lagging behind when one of the people jabbed him with a silenced pistol. "I hope you haven't forgotten about your lovely wife and daughter," Balalaika hissed, "I would hate to have to report to them of your foolish lapse in judgment especially when you've done so well up to now."

"The evidence lockup is separately powered and vented. it's impossible to get in there."

"Mister Walker my entire career has been built on doing the "_impossible" _and doing it better then anyone else." she turned to the men with her. "Teams one and two secure the main floor and sweep for stragglers team three will handle the evidence lockup."

"What about him?"

"He has served his purpose." Balalaika held up a radio "Sargent, Mister Walker has performed adequately. Please release his family with a token of our appreciation for their patience in this matter."

"You're letting my family go?"

"...As I promised. You will see them again in the hospital."

"Hospital --Why What's wrong with them?..."

"Oh not for them, for you." Balalaika smiled then suddenly and quickly punched the man hard enough that he collapsed in a heap.

Ivy was amazed, "You took him out in one punch."

"It's all in the hips and shoulders," Balalaika supplied dismissively, "now if you will step quickly mistress, we must hurry and i would not wish for you to remain in harm's way for too long."

They headed down to the lower levels. Another of her men, Denisof, met them. saluting in response to Balalaika's crisp demand for a status report.

"It is as we were informed. A double lock, both electronic keys would be required. It would be faster just to blow the whole thing ."

"When the system loses power you will have a short window to sever the lock make certain we are ready."

"The good news is the only thing in hard lockup was the bio agent Cobblepot's weapons are accessible to us as are some canisters of pressurized gas."

"Gas?"

"Labeled as exhibits in the trial of someone called Jonathon Crane."

"Crane's fear toxin?" Ivy explained."It's a hallucinogenic gas. it would do me no harm, drugs don't do anything to me anymore and with your NBC gear you would be fine. But the prisoners and anyone unprotected..."

Denisof nodded thoughtfully, "I can hook it to the buildings ventilation it would flood the other floors. might serve as an additional defense against incoming hostiles."

Balalaika gave the man a curt nod, "Do it." she ordered.


	10. Chapter 10

Batman raced through the night, his insides feeling like a bag of broken glass was shifting around in his stomach. The pain in his guts however paled next to the uncertainty in his mind. He had begun his crusade to fight evil and crime and here he was forging an alliance of convenience with Catwoman. And while Selina could be amoral, placing thrills and self-interest above any other considerations, she was a far better choice as partner then the Roanapur gunslinger. Life was sacred to The Caped Crusader, even the lives of those who had sworn to kill him. While there was life, there was the possibility of regret and redemption. Hotel Moscow's dark queen and The Gunslinger had fearsome reputations and they had not built them by showing mercy or pity to their enemies. It would be beyond naive to think either of these women would show the slightest hesitation or restrain themselves in unleashing their own kind of hell.

Batman triggered his com-link. "Oracle, Status?" he asked curtly.

"Selina just called. They've made contact with Penguin's forces. It's a warzone down there and if Rock is to be believed Revy's just getting warmed up."

Exactly what Batman had been afraid of, still The GCPD deserved to know what they were up against. "Warn Gordon about Hotel Moscow. His people won't stand a chance if they confront her, especially if Ivy is pulling her strings."

"Just so it's out there, I think you should consider what you're going to do with Balalaika."

"I'm leaving my options open," the caped crusader snapped.

"Bru ... Batman you've seen what she is capable of." Oracle whispered harshly, "She isn't going to leave you a lot of choice."

"She's under Ivy's control. I'm not a judge and jury and I won't make any kind of decision until she's free of that control."

"...At which point ether Ivy is a corpse, or you are. If she's in a bad enough mood she might try for the both of you. Can you ...are you ready for that?"

"Balalaika is pragmatic. If I can give her something she wants more then revenge, she'll quit the field."

"That's one hell of a holy grail you're looking for."

"Then its good I have my own personal digital Merlin. I know you'll find me something Oracle."

"You want me to find something that will keep the woman The Mujahideen claimed was an incarnation of hell itself from going on a killing spree."

Batman chuckled, "Actually what the Warlords claimed was that you could see the coldest levels of hell in her eyes and that she was born of the angel that guards the gates. In the Islamic tradition, Hell has multiple levels."

"Between you and Clark I do not know who has the lock on master of obscure trivia." Oracle grumbled, "Fine, I'll get Rock to help me, his pacing was starting to get on my nerves anyway."

* * *

The GCPD were securing the area around their headquarters. A small crowd of gawkers had gathered to watch the goings on. Gordon was directing crowd control when his ringing cellular snatched his attention. The Police Commissioner held a brief and animated conversation before hanging up the line.

"Bad news?" Bullock asked.

"Open war just broke out downtown. Pretty much every triad soldier is in a running gun battle "

"With who the Japanese? ...The Italians?" Sawyer wondered.

"The Gunslinger - there's also been confirmed reports of Catwoman on the scene."

"Yer kidding me, two women are waging a war." Harvey snickered.

Sawyer gave Bullock a dark stare. "Harvey am I going to have to recommend you for sensitivity training again?"

Gordon chuckled at Harvey's panicked look. "...Actually it looks like they might be winning it. They've already taken out a few of Tommy Lao's boys." He reported.

"Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of scum bags if you ask me." Harvey snickered.

"He didn't Harvey," Sawyer growled, "You want me to take care of it Jim?"

"Do the best you can Maggie. You have my full support. Whatever you have to do to get this under control."

Sawyer nodded and shouted to several men to follow her as she departed.

Bullock started checking his watch. Gordon looked at him." Are we keeping you from something Harvey."

"Waiting for the other shoe Commish, you and I both know it'll be dropping any minute now."

The ringing of Gordon's phone was eerily timed.

"You are being invaded Commissioner." the robotic disguised voice said, "The building is going to be taken by Hotel Moscow."

"How, the place is in lock down we just had a..." realization dawned on Gordon, "...Bio-hazard alert."

"Trouble?" Harvey asked.

Gordon nodded, "Big trouble -we have to get back in there now."

The assembled officers rallied. They raced for the front door but a sudden and violent explosion threw them to the ground.

"The shot came from the roof." Gordon pointed.

Harvey cursed, "A rocket launcher -are they kidding?" he whined. "What could they be after in there? Is it a break out?"

"Hotel Moscow doesn't know anyone in Gotham well enough to risk a direct attack like this." Gordon muttered.

"Isn't Crane's fear gas down there?" Harvey asked.

"Along with enough bio-toxin to kill most of Gotham." Gordon snapped. "Options?"

"If it's the bio-crap they're after, then they'll go for the evidence locker." Bullock supplied.

"Then we assume they have an exit plan." Gordon muttered.

"We could try for sewer access but that would take time."

"How much?"

Harvey turned to one of the uniforms, "Hey Evens you're dating that chick who works at sewage treatment aren't you and she always sneaking off for quickies in the service tunnels?"

"I told you that in confidence Harvey."

Gordon nodded, "Grab some men and head down there. Get in however you can. If they come out the front I'll try and hold them here."

"Commissioner, what's your status?" Gordon was thrilled to hear Batman's voice over the comlink.

"Blocked, they have us pinned down from the rooftop."

"Acknowledged, pull your people back. When I have the roof secured I'll let you know."

Suddenly Gordon heard a familiar whine and watched in awe as a high tech bike sailed off the skyway streaking across the chasm aiming toward the rooftop of police headquarters.

"Jesus is he crazy?" Bullock whistled.

"Do you really need an answer to that?" Gordon answered, "Grab a few men and head through the sewers."

* * *

Balalaika was in the basement detention level when she heard the crash from the upper floors "team one respond," She called, "...Respond!"

"This is Leonid ma'am there is some kind of motorbike up here it crashed through the roof."

"...Through the roof?" Balalaika shook her head, "Unbelievable, well he gets points for creativity."

A lounging prisoner slid up the bars of his cell, "Sounds like someone's got a bat-in-the-belfry." he said,

"We'll have to deal with him." Ivy snapped panicking

Balalaika nodded, "Leonid, rendezvous with team two. Sweep that floor."

"Understood ma'am we will..." a series of sudden thuds cut the man off.

Balalaika called for her men but now only an eerie silence came over the line. Balalaika grinned evilly. "So Mister Bat, I know you are there. Hacking enemy communications is the first step in any infiltration. You have my congratulations I'll have to reassess my opinion of the local criminal element. Taking down a team of my men is no easy feat."

"Why are you doing this, what do you gain?" The Batman asked.

"The destruction of this corrupt city is all the gain I require." Balalaika answered.

"That's Ivy talking, not you." The Dark Knight snapped, "You do things for your own reasons. Think Balalaika, think hard. This isn't like you. Why do YOU want to destroy Gotham city?"

Balalaika paused "I want to destroy this city ... I want to..." Ivy heard the hesitation in her voice. The Russian's iron will was clawing its way back to the surface.

"You want to beat The Batman," Ivy whispered, it was a long shot but Boris had given Ivy enough insight into Balalaika's character "He's the best, the strongest. Every criminal in this city is afraid of him, every one that is, but you. You've beaten his kind."

"Yes," Balalaika whispered dreamily, "I have beaten them, crushed and annihilated them, left them broken, bleeding, and crying for their wives and mothers." The evil smile was back on her face as she spoke into the communications link, "I find you fascinating Mister Bat. Criminals are given to paranoid superstition; it makes sense when you think about it. The image of the bat linked so inexorably with the dark and shadow to harass those who dwell in the dark. I've fought shadows before and found them to be all too human I hope you will provide me with more of a challenge."

"I'm not going to fight you Balalaika, not just for Ivy's amusement."

"I know that you have rules and, according to local rumor, an aversion to killing. If I really want to see what you can do I'm going to have to make it worth your while. Fortunately for both of us, your local police are much more efficient then they are in Roanapur. My cannon fodder shall be along presently, I shall trust you to put on a good show. Mister Bat, I will be disappointed otherwise. Anyone will tell you that disappointment is not a thing I deal with well ... or with any mercy." She cut the line signaling to her men to do the same.

"Are we going after Leonid and the others?" Denisof whispered.

"No, our schedule is a tight one." Balalaika looked at him steadily. "Continue your work on the gas."

Ivy looked at her, "You're really going to flood the building with fear toxin?" She asked.

Balalaika snorted, "An empty building? - Of course not, Mistress. First I will release the jail's inmates, **then **we'll flood the building. Violent prisoners suffering from vivid hallucinations should prove an -effective distraction for the police and The Bat."

"Why not just hunt him down and kill him?"

"He's trying to distract and delay us. Eventually Gordon and his men will realize the only way to retake this building will be to come though the sewers. The gassed prisoners will keep them busy long enough for us to get what we need and get away."

Ivy followed after Balalaika as the Mob mistress descended to the cellblock level of the jail. She walked past the cages peering at the men inside. They lacked that edge that living in the cutthroat world of Roanapur gave a man but they would do. "One does what one can with the resources at hand." She sighed.

She shouted with all the power her years of military service had given her and the room went silent. "Gentlemen, my name is Balalaika... From the silence, I will assume those of you who have never heard of me, have heard of Roanapur. A place which I assure you, does not tolerate do-gooders interfering in its business. I am going to offer you one chance and only one chance to make yourselves useful. Between you and freedom are a few dozen police and The Batman. In a few minutes, you will have access to enough weapons to deal with both of those problems. So I ask you, are any of you brave enough to step up or has a deranged masked man and the police force he cowed into subservience robbed you of everything that makes any of you worthy of being called criminals?"

"What will you be doing while we throw ourselves at the cops and The Bat." one of the men called out.

Balalaika shrugged, "Truthfully, breaking into the evidence lockup and making off with its contents. Make no mistake, you are a distraction, cannon fodder, but those of you who stand up today will be able to tell your friends you took on The Bat and survived. Is that worth anything at all to any of you?"

"I'm in, I'll do whatever you want." said a large black man. One by one, the others nodded in agreement.

Balalaika nodded and turned to Denisof, "Release them."

Ivy watched as one by one the men who didn't know this woman and owed her nothing accepted weapons and one by one headed out knowing they would be taking on their worst fear. And they looked eager.

Balalaika had a power to make others do her will that came from the sheer power of her personality. Ivy shuddered at the thought of what she could do with this woman at her side the world itself would be at her feet...if she could maintain her control.

Balalaika pulled a gas mask on her face and shouldered a weapon.

"Where are you going?" Ivy asked.

"I went to a lot of trouble to get my hands on that rocket launcher I'm not leaving it for some costumed loony." Balalaika snapped before turning to Denisof, "You are in charge until I return. When Penguin falls that rocket launcher is our ticket out of here."

"Don't you mean if he fails?" Ivy asked.

"I've known Revy a long time Mistress, so yes I mean when he falls."

* * *

Tommy Lao heard another explosion behind them and shuddered. "What the hell was that?" he cried

Penguin cackled, "That Thomas would be Geri and Peri with a little something from the summer catalog. a prototype based on the Barret, vehicle mounted. but the real sell point is the light weight construction means its perfect for the happy homemaker who just has to make it go boom in a big way."

Tommy looked back and saw another of the cars his gangsters were driving, blown skyward.

"Those idiots of yours are killing my guys." He grabbed at Penguin who slapped his hands away menacing him with a blade from the umbrella in his hand.

"Your thugs don't matter, nothing matters except the Green" The Penguin snarled before rising up and opening a utility door in the back of the cab climbing into the trailer of the truck.

"You lied to me." Tommy whined.

"Gee what are the chances that a lair would lie especially to another liar? Now be a good lad and keep that crazy girl from stopping us"

"How am I supposed to do that?"

"If the murderous maiden gets close to the cab, use the assault rifle beside you. It's just like a camera, point and click just try and keep your thumb out of the way."

* * *

Revy hauled open an inspection hatch and dropped into the back of the truck she looked around seeing a large machine that was the EMP bomb.

"Great, found you; now how do I break you?" She snarled.

"Sorry love, Uncle Oswald needs this toy intact."

Instinct drove Revy to dive for the floor before bullets raked the air. Penguin stepped forward shooting as she rolled aside behind some boxes and fired back.

"You're really going to blow up the city cause some freaky chick has screwed with your head." Revy mocked, "That is so lane, it's not funny."

"The green is so beautiful my dove. You would know that if you let her in. But its too late for that" he raked the boxes with more gunfire.

Revy heard Selina though the comlink, "Revy I hate to be pushy but these geisha are getting a little close with that rifle fire and I'm running out of things to doge behind. The soldiers are almost all dead." Kyle reported.

"Can you stay behind the truck for a little bit?"

"Why?"

Revy stood up and shot at Penguin but the man was wearing some kind of body armor. Her shots did nothing.

She tuned quickly shooting at the lock for the truck's cargo doors. The huge doors swung wide showing The fleeing Catwoman. The geishas fired at Kyle. She weaved again, allowing the AMR round to fly past Revy and Cobblepot. The shot hit the EMP Bomb, which shuddered with the impact.

"Awesome," Revy cackled, "lets see you fry the city with that dumbass."

"You really don't build 'em to last down in Roanapur. Do you?" Penguin cackled, "This was constructed with hi-test casings. One shot won't break it." A high whining came from the thing and Penguin's face fell, "It will apparently however damage the detonating system causing the whole thing to charge up until it fires off at max discharge level."

"...So its an EMP bomb." Revy asked.

Penguin sighed, "Honey as a rule, it's not a good idea to be standing right next anything that explodes with the force of a bolt of lightning." He raised an umbrella pointing it at Revy, "Not that you'll have to worry about that."

He fired and both he and Revy was shocked when a missile launched from the point of the weapon. Revy danced aside and the missile continued out into the night.

"...A missile launcher, you built a missile launcher into an freaking umbrella?"

"It's a theme," Penguin snarled, "Everybody has one, cats, bats, clowns. I like birds and umbrellas." he raised another umbrella, "Besides that was wrong one. So long sweet pea."

He fired and Revy felt the vicious punch of a shotgun blast. She was flung out the back of the truck, landing with a crash, onto the hood of a pursuing police car. Revy wasn't sure what was more shocking. That she had survived Penguin's attack thanks to the body amour she was wearing, or glancing around to find herself looking into the surprised eyes of Maggie Sawyer. "Nice timing Sawyer, I see cop response time has improved since I was a kid."

Revy looked up and saw the missile arcing back toward them.

"What the hell?"

Penguin got a wide nasty grin on his face. "Smart bomb," he said with a smile, he pressed a switch and a red targeting light appeared on Revy's chest. "I'm especially proud of the beam guidance feature."


	11. Chapter 11

Batman didn't wait for Balalaika's surprise he headed for the basement levels as quickly as he could. He'd reached the stairs when he felt a strange and too-familiar sensation of creeping panic. "Fear gas." he cursed as choked coughing racked his body.

Batman fumbled for his utility belt. When Crane had tried selling his fear toxin as kind of street drug The Caped Crusader had taken to carrying a booster shot of anti-toxin to guard against possible infection. Of course he had no idea what the effects of the thing would be combined with Ivy's poison already in his system but he had no choice. Dying he could deal with, being consumed by fearful images that would eventually break his mind if left unchecked ... that was an entirely different matter.

"So Balalaika," he muttered as he injected himself. "...Playing for keeps are you?"

He heard movement. Voices. He turned a corner and saw two men armed with weapons. The crazed prisoners let loose with incoherent screams before opening fire. Batman ducked behind a desk. Letting the heavy furniture absorb the gunfire.

The enraged prisoners finally stopped firing when their weapons clicked empty. Suddenly a disk-like object slid across the floor toward them. As it reached them, it exploded, sending waves of blinding light into the air. Batman was on them in a second, beating them senseless and stripping them of their weapons.

He heard more prisoners moving toward him. Batman hurled more stun bombs down the stairwell. Catching sight of a fire hose he smashed open the wall container and unreeled the hose directing the high-pressure spray down the stair and forcing the men to flee.

Suddenly the sound of breaking glass and gunshots told him more trouble was at work. He dropped the hose and run down a level barreling into the gunmen who were raining bullets down on the street. He tore into the shooters pounding on them relentlessly. The men fought back. Batman lashed out, pushing one of the men though the window. The man screamed in terror as he dangled over the vast drop. His fear gas fogged mind making the five-story drop into a yawning chasm. Instantly Batman reached out and grabbed the man trying to haul him back, while his partner began raining blows on the Dark Knight's head. Batman ignored the pain as he concentrated on saving the man in his grasp. However he caught sight of a masked soldier coming toward them rifle in hand. The masked intruder slipped up behind the attacking inmate and swiftly clubbed him over the head with the butt of a rifle. The man slipped to the ground unconscious.

Batman used the brief respite to haul the prisoner back inside saving his life. Before delivering a swift blow to the back of his head rendering him he was able to deal with the intruder who regarded him from behind the barrel of their weapon, before lowering it and pulling off the gas mask. Batman saw a beautiful brunette.

"I have to say Bruce your publicity photographs do not do you justice." the woman said. Her features reminded Batman of his lost love the beautiful Rachel Dawes. Even though he knew it was most likely the fear gas making him see things still he wanted to believe he had not failed to save her life from the Joker's bomb.

"Rachel?"

"Rachel Dawes? You dog you. No I'm Talia, Talia al-Ghul I think you know my father?"

Ra's al-Ghul is dead."

"It's cute that you think that Bruce. If you had a dollar for every time someone has believed Ra's al-Ghul to be dead, you'd be richer then you already are...a lot richer."

"I know Ivy was working with the Demon. Did you come to make sure she finished her assignment?"

"Ivy was your replacement. My father thought her rage could be channeled in more productive directions but Isley is psychotic. My father may want to create a garden utopia but he wants subjects to rule over, what's the good of a being a king in a kingdom without subjects to rule. Isley wants to see the world entirely cleansed of human life. She went rouge like you did."

"I'm not seeing much of a difference between Ivy and your father."

"One reason my father and I have never seen eye to eye -truth be told. I was following my own path a slightly less genocidal one, When I realized what Ivy and Penguin were up to, I tried to stop them but the presence of Hotel Moscow complicated matters."

"Why are you here, now."

"When I realized what they were planning I put myself in Balalaika's head space. I figured she would want unlimited access and emergency vehicles can come and go without search. I got lucky in waiting for her people at the hospital. When her men arrived and commandeered the CDC trucks I managed to steal a uniform."

"How did you find out about Penguin's plans?"

"Geri and Peri, they are surprisingly erudite for cold blooded killers. They told me about the plan to dose the partygoers so I inserted myself among the perfume girls to get a sample. Of course that meant I had to circulate. I got to tell you that Revy is one scary girl, she almost killed me when I got too close."

"She's immune to the toxin. I synthesized a temporary antidote based on chemicals in her bloodstream."

"I knew you would figure it out eventually I just had to wait for you to come to me."

Batman shuddered and Talia pulled him to his feet. "You're dying of Ivy's toxin you should let me help you."

"You have a cure?"

"Ivy's toxins are a mix of her own knowledge of chemistry and botany and her unique genetics. But the science isn't nearly as foolproof as she'd like everyone to believe. I have enough counter-agent to cure you."

"No not me, get it to my associate Oracle. She can synthesize enough cure to help the rest of those sick with Ivy's poison."

"Bruce, you're dying." Talia insisted.

"...But I'm not dead," Batman countered strongly, "I have a booster. It will keep me going long enough to get to Ivy and Balalaika and stop them."

"Fine if that's what you want ...If you really want to stop Balalaika, you will need to do more then impress her with your willingness to risk your life.

"Oracle is going though Penguin's files looking for anything that might help us."

"Penguin was a pawn, mostly Ivy's pawn. I doubt she's even planning on taking him with her when she flees the toxic cloud she's going to release over the city. Take this," she handed Batman a tiny flash drive. "Some of Dad's files. You want Balalaika's attention what's on this will get her attention."

Batman opened the comlink, "Oracle, I've met...someone they have the toxin cure and information that will help with Balalaika I need you to get a cure to Gordon and cross check the information and get back to me with the highlights "

"Anything else ... turn back time ... part the red seas maybe?" Oracle sighed sarcastically.

Batman ignored her, "Balalaika will be leaving soon, prep the Batwing. I'll need it "

"The Batwing auto guidance has never been reliable and the auto defense systems are useless. If you aren't in the cockpit, I can guarantee that it won't be able to hit the broadside of a barn let alone take out a ship prepped for combat."

"You'll find a way Oracle. In the meantime I'm sending you data on the Demon's Head. See if it leads you anywhere useful."

Oracle hung up the line and turned to See Rock scanning the incoming data stream. Revy and Selina could be heard bantering back and forth over the communications link they were involved in a pitched battle and Rock was obviously worried for his friend.

"Rock I need a favour. You spend any time in Akihabara?"

"You mean the video gamers paradise? Yeah I'd hang out there when I couldn't get into a batting cage, why?"

"How are you with flight sims."

* * *

Revy looked at the red dot from the beam guide on her chest and then at the demonic leer on Penguin's face.

Scrambling over the roof and onto the trunk if the car, the gunslinger launched herself through the air toward the oncoming geisha twins. She landed on the front of the bike. Geri was shocked and started to fight Revy while Peri tried to shake her off while avoiding the oncoming smart bomb.

Revy tried to shoot Geri but had her weapon knocked out of her fist by a slash from Geri's bladed gloves. Revy grabbed her other hand so that the two were standing in a bizarre frozen pose. The spell was broken when Selina lashed out with her whip entangling Geri's throat and pulling savagely.

The ninja was yanked off balance and Revy kicked hard at her, spilling her on the ground. Peri slashed at the steering column sending up a series of spark before bailing off the motorcycle herself. Revy spun herself around and dropped into the seat but the bike's steering was almost shot to hell ... almost. The throttle was still working so she opened it up full and the bike took off slaloming around the truck. Selina pulled level with her.

"Get off that thing, you can't control it."

"That bomb's going to keep following me till either it dies or I do. Get Sawyer to drop back, this is going to be a big bang when it goes off."

Selina nodded and dropped back. Revy kept one eye on the missile as she and the beam guided ordinance continued keeping pace with the smart bomb pulling closer. Revy hit the end of the block, fishtailing the cycle with a bone-chilling screech of the motorcycle's brakes before aiming the bike at the oncoming truck.

"This is going to hurt like a bitch." She growled to herself as she dropped the bike on its side. Sparks flew up as she rolled free of the speeding bike. The truck rolled over the motorbike even as the missile homed in on the twisted wreck. The truck was blown violently upwards. The trailer portion ripped free landing on its side while the cab smashed back to the ground, skidding down the block to crash against a building front.

A dull thud came from the trailer and every light for blocks around them went dark all at once. The EMP bomb had detonated from the shock.

Revy climbed to her feet and limped toward the trailer picking up the Barret, surprisingly intact after the crash, as she limped.

A groaning Penguin rolled from the trailer looking decidedly haggard, he had been knocked around a far bit during the crash. His monocle was askew and he was bleeding and bruised.

"Hey round boy you and me we ain't done dancing yet." Revy snarled raising the anti material rifle and stalking toward the fat man.

"Ah Rebecca," Cobblepot simpered, "you know I wasn't serious about that whole shooting you thing."

"Ah Penguin, time to man-up. You played the game and lost, now we settle up like we do it back home." She jammed the barrel of the Barret's barrel against the Penguin's noticeably unarmored skull. "I've always wanted to use a Barrett but they're normally so heavy but this one is so light. I wonder what your head'll look like after I pull the trigger."

"Stand down Revy " Sawyer screamed, she had her gun drawn and was covering the both of them "if Penguin dies so will you."

"You aren't seriously planning on arresting this piece of garbage. He's a scumbag."

"He's a scumbag with rights to due process. I'm arresting all of you, including you Revy. I realize it's been a few years but murder is still against the law in this town, even if the victims are criminals. "

Revy cackled "Like your going find twelve people in Gotham City who will give a shit about a bunch of dead gangsters."

"If I have to pound on every door and window and stand on street corners with a megaphone, I will find them and they will be there. This isn't Roanapur. "

"Are you sure?" Revy smirked, "a couple more nights like this one and you won't be able to tell the difference."

Sawyer thumbed the safety of her gun "I'm not screwing around Revy, drop the rifle. "

Suddenly they all heard the Semi flare to life. Tommy was turning the big rig back toward them, an enraged look on his face.

Sawyer screamed out "Kill the engine Lao, its over and you're going to jail for a long time."

His answer was to aim the vehicle at them picking up speed as he hurtled toward them. Both Revy and Sawyer emptied a clip of ammo into the oncoming truck.

Sawyer bent and grabbed the rotund Penguin and stared dragging his protesting body out of the way. "Help me move him dammit," she screamed at Revy who ignored her as she marched to the center of the street.

Lao aimed the big rig toward her stationary form.

"That's it you sadistic son of a bitch come to me." Revy whispered, "I want you to come to me." She was egging him on with more useless gunfire.

"Revy, get the hell out of there!" Kyle screamed even as she tried to get the motorcycle to turn over.

Lao's truck was steamrolling toward her.

"Come on fucker, come on -I want you to do it. Come on, hit me..." she screamed, "Hit me."

Suddenly she raised the anti material rifle still clutched in her other fist. Firing the huge weapon at a sign above the street, the couplings holding the huge thing to the wall were blown away and the sign swung down, landing on the cab of the truck even as it passed underneath. Tommy was instantly and gruesomely crushed.

The truck slid to a halt even as Revy's demonic laughter filled the night.

She looked around at Sawyer and Kyle who were staring at her agape. "Come on, that had to be the coolest thing you've seen all night. It had to be." She sneered.

Penguin held up his hands, "Ah Sawyer such a delight I trust you intend to detain this miscreant she and her cohorts absconded with my company property."

"What, am I just supposed to ignore the fact you took a shot at my car Cobblepot?" Sawyer asked wryly.

"I was just..."

Revy shot a look at Selina who nodded and started her motorcycle. She sped away with Sawyer calling over the radio a description that would do no good. The bike would be off the street and Catwoman safely in hiding by the time the police were ready for a decent search.

"By the way Sawyer, Normally I ain't no squealer but ... a friend was running tape on the Boss while she was staying at the hotel Most of its pretty boring but the bit where Penguin and Poison Ivy are messing with my boss and making her attack you guys, that part should be pretty interesting." Revy pulled a disk from her jacket pocket, "...There's even a cool bit on there about how Bird Boy was holding evidence about who killed The Chechen."

Sawyer played the disk in the player in the squad car and watched as several members of Hotel Moscow restrained Balalaika while Ivy sprayed something in her face. "Coercion, obstruction of justice, interference in a federal investigation, blacking out a chunk of the city you've been a naughty, naughty boy Oswald -a very naughty boy."

"I want my lawyer." Cobblepot grumbled. "It wasn't my fault...The Plant Lady it was her and The Russian I can tell you things."

Revy looked at Cobblepot and laughed cruelly "There's a smart idea Penguin, I'd love to see you try it. Your life won't be worth spit."

"I'm sure we can provide sufficient security." Sawyer said with confidence.

Revy laughed all the more at her words, "Oh yeah The South China Sea is filled with all the people who thought they had -sufficient security- there was this one guy, six boxes he was found in ... six ... and those were the pieces they found."

Cobblepot looked sick to his stomach. Sawyer couldn't tell if that was because he was thinking about his life expectancy or because Revy was now gleefully regaling him with tales of her city's body disposal specialist.


	12. Chapter 12

Rock had been in some strange positions since being kidnapped by Revy and the crew of the Black Lagoon but streaking through the downtown core at mach point five while at the controls of a prototype jet plane ... that had to be the definitive sign that God really had it in for him. "Why do I have to suffer like this? " he screamed as he often did whenever his life got weird.

"Rock, I really need you to calm down. " Oracle said with an irritated sigh, "I'm relying on you to keep the plane level."

"All I'm doing is flying it right? The weapon systems, they work?"

"Ah yeah, weapons system are fine," Oracle lied smoothly, "...at least the pilot controlled ones are."

"You want me to open fire -on my boss. Are you insane?"

"Rock what office drone hasn't dreamed of what you're about to do, use high tech weaponry on your boss and get away with it."

"I like my boss. Sure she can be violent and crazy and she's pulled a gun on me but she's a damn sight easier to deal with then most of the managers I ever worked for."

Oracle assumed a more serious tone, "Rock, in less then an hour your boss will on a position to kill everyone in this city. You can't tell me you're cool with citywide genocide."

Rock looked out the window of the plane at the city rushing past and the people at its heart, "Fine talk me though it," he grumbled.

* * *

Balalaika jogged into the basement room carrying the large rocket launcher across her back.

"Status." she demanded.

Denisof saluted, "We bypassed the locks and we are preparing the canisters for transport"

Balalaika noted with disgust that there was no word from Penguin. The team's monitoring of police broadcasts had already delivered the news that Cobblepot was in custody and the Chinese Triad Boss was on his way to the morgue. "Two Hands doing what she does best. Didn't we drag her along on this mission to make sure we had LESS headaches?"

"How are we supposed to escape, we needed the power to be neutralized to trip the doors in the basement?" Ivy asked.

"Truthfully I always had my doubts that Penguin could be trusted to be successful. Fortunately we have a less subtle but by no means less effective means of egress." She hoisted the rocket launcher. "I have encountered few problems that can not be solved by the application of high explosives."

She heard a series of thuds finishing with the crunch of a bone. Batman had finally reached them.

"He's here," Ivy, snapped "We have to stop him no matter what."

Balalaika looked at two of her men. "Don't let him back here until you hear me blow the door."

She left with the rocket launcher as her two men headed for the door.

"Stop for a second boys." Ivy said. "You're so brave for taking on the Batman on your own. Your mistress just wants you to have a token of her thanks." she kissed them deeply. The men had a noticeably empty look in their eyes as they turned to leave.

"What did you do?" Denisof asked.

"It's called staking the deck in your favour." Ivy hissed.

Batman dropped the last of the fear-crazed inmates. And ran for the entrance when he saw two hulking soldiers coming at him. He punched one and it felt like hitting a brick wall, a brick wall that started hitting back hard.

The two of them were gibbering in Russian about the green. Ivy had dosed them with something. The two men grabbed at him threatening to tear him in two. He was thrown bodily into wall and floors.

Batman heard an explosion from the room beyond, Balalaika was getting away he couldn't afford to be delayed. He un-clipped the liquid plastic explosive from his belt. Rendered in aerosol form, he used it when he needed to plant explosive charges quickly and quietly.

He spayed it on his armored gloves. Turning he lashed out with a vicious punch. The contact explosive detonated sending one of the men crashing to the floor.

The other circled around the Caped Crusader moaning and gibbering in his steroid driven madness. The raging man screamed and charged Batman seeming to want to erase the Dark Knight with his hammering blows. Batman leaped on top of the enraged soldier raining blows on his face and head, trying to knock him out.

Suddenly the big man slumped to the floor choking and throwing up bile. Batman scanned him. His convulsions seemed an allergic reaction to the boost to his speed and strength. Now Ivy's steroid was killing both men and doing it quickly. Batman took the last of the booster he had for himself and injected it into both men. The One still awake soon settled, his choking ceased and settling into shallow ragged breathing. The soldier would live; Batman however, had at best, an hour or so until he succumbed to the poisons in his body.

Batman left them where they had fallen dashing through the detention level to find the cells empty and the back wall gone. IT had been blown up and looking through the hole he saw ATV's speeding away. Balalaika had thought of everything...almost everything, one ATV was still sitting

He heard coughing and saw Bullock leading a team through the debris. "Tell me they didn't blow up the basement." Bullock whined

"I have to assume the Catwoman and the Gunslinger have stopped Cobblepot I've put down most of the crazies Balalaika set loose you need to get them back under lock and key "

"I'll notify harbor patrol to stop her ship."

"Unless they are ready to fight a war, then they haven't a prayer of stopping her."

"...And you do?"

"I have someone taking care of it." Batman hopped on the idling ATV and raced away

"Harvey should we go after them." one of the officers asked

Bullock snorted, "You got a way of taking them down, I'm all ears. Otherwise I'm for getting our HQ, which is crawling with crazy loons with guns, under control. Is that OK with you?"

* * *

Balalaika heard the racing ATV engine in the confined space and glanced back she saw the ATV in the distance but it was not the two soldiers she had left behind but The Batman himself.

"He is determined I'll give him that." she opened the throttle and increased speed calling for the rest of her men to do likewise.

They blasted through the tunnel past old crumbling brickwork. It was a History Teacher's wet dream. A perfectly preserved time capsule of Gotham's prohibition era past but it was so much scenery to the fleeing figures.

The voice of her Sergeant came over the comlink. "Ma'am we monitoring your progress." Boris reported.

"Have the entry port open and ready," Balalaika yelled. "We are coming in hot."

They rocketed out of the tunnel and shot across the lowered entry door. Balalaika skidded to a stop dismounting and unleashing the rocket launcher slung to her back. She sighted down the barrel locking on to the tunnel mouth. She waited until she saw the headlights of the ATV glimmering in the darkness. She fired with a joyous shout and watched as the tunnel exploded and the burning wreck of the ATV arced away from the tunnel to fall to the water below.

Her men cheered in triumph. Balalaika allowed the joyous shouting to continue for a while before her loud shout reminded them that the operation was not complete. They snapped to attention and went to action stations. Balalaika's well-trained sniper's eyesight picked out the dark shadow of a plane. It was skimming low across the water as the entryway closed cutting off further sight.

"Have you been tracking the plane," she asked Boris, who looked at her mystified.

"I thought as much, it must have been running in stealth mode. Prepare the rockets for deployment."

"It could be Air Force but US military wouldn't need to hide themselves." Boris pointed out.

Balalaika nodded, "They must be one of HIS people, we shall accommodate their death wish."

"It has been awhile since we had to hold off air support." Boris reminded his commander.

"Never the less I intend that this thrill seeker learn that attacking Hotel Moscow comes with a very steep price."

* * *

The plane with Rock at the controls was streaking across the water coming up fast on the Marie Zeleska.

"Closing fast, stealth systems are engaged but at this range if they can't see me they are blind and deaf. What about Batman?"

"Don't you worry about Batman, Try and concentrate on not crashing that plane or getting yourself killed... in that order." Oracle sounded distracted and Rock noticed data uploading to the battle computers that was altering the load out of the torpedoes.

"You have to stop that ship," Oracle continued, "if they get too far from land, Balalaika can fill he sky with toxic gas."

"How am I supposed to stop her," Rock asked as he read the data stream, "what's an Arc Projector?"

Oracle explained that an arc projector would send a localized electrostatic pulse throughout the freighter disabling its power including the engines. Hopefully without killing anyone aboard.

A heavy tapping like raindrops drew his attention back to the ship. Balalaika's men had opened fire on him. The tapping was the sound of bullets bouncing off the armored skin of the plane. Rock recalled only too well Revy's comment about the difference between bullet resistant and bulletproof. The last thing he wanted was to find out for himself that difference while at the controls of a crashing plane. Rock weaved and dodged trying to stay out of the worst of the gunfire.

Rock finally guided the plane down, skimming in low across the water and popping up above the deck firing the torpedo and rocketing directly into the sky. The torpedo crashed to the deck and blue-white light cascaded across the ship as one by one the ship's lights shut off and the drone of its engines stopped.

Rock hooted and yelled in joy

"Congratulations Rock, but I have some bad news for you...I need you to take another run at the ship and this time I need you to come around to heading ... five, three two and make your run from there."

Rock glanced at the minicomputer it's data screen immediately showing him the course she was telling him to take. "I'd be coming in straight ahead. I'll be a sitting duck."

"Rock your using some experimental tech, it needs to be fired at a precise angle to work. If it doesn't hit the ship right it'll end up ripping a hole in the hull and she'll sink."

Rock sighed and turned the plane, swinging in low and fast.

"Remember you have to fire it at the right moment or it won't hit correctly."

"They're going to be trying to kill me."

"They're already trying to do that. Coming at them straight and level will just make it easier this time. Don't divert course until you hear the tone sound. That's your signal to fire."

Balalaika tracked the planes progress across the sky.

"I doubt our attacker has ever pulled a strafing run in their lives Sergeant."

"Their attack killed the power aboard ship it will be some time before we have the launchers ready."

"Continue your work Sergeant I will swat our troublesome gnat." Balalaika trained the reloaded rocket launcher at the strafing plane lining her shot up perfectly. She fired expecting the jet to peel away to avoid her shot but instead the pilot either bravely or foolishly held course as the plane unleashed a set of twin torpedoes. The weapons dropped to the water surging toward her ship. Balalaika watched as the plane tried to pull away from the rocket she'd fired but it was far too late as the rocket's warhead impacted on the plane's underbelly. Flames blossomed outward as the plane trailed smoke and fire across the night sky. There was a barely felt shudder as the torpedoes impacted on the hull. Hearing no explosion or any other sign the hull had been compromised the men cheered their commander. She silenced them ordering them back to their appointed tasks.

One of the men waved for her attention. he had been inspecting the damage done by the first missile now lodged in the deck and throwing off billows of exhaust fumes and smoke. "Ma'am this missile, the one that took out our power," The man reported, "there is something odd the smoke. I don't think its exhaust there's..."

He was cut off from further speculations by a shadow that surged from the smoke to tackle him dragging him into the shadows where a loud thud was heard.

"Dammit, it's The Bat," Balalaika screamed, "he survived and got aboard somehow. I want this vessel swept from stem to stern. No mistakes this time, I want his pointy eared head on my mantle."

Her remaining men organized themselves poking into every shadowy corner for the caped crusader. They would see a fleeting shadow and open fire but still that Batman manage to take down several of Balalaika's best one by one till only a six including Balalaika herself remained.

She directed their fire at the fleeting shadow that was Batman. Finally in frustration the Russian growled and lashed out with her weapon bashing the Dark Knight hurling him bodily into the hold of the freighter. "Get those rockets back on line ...I'll deal with him."

***  
"Okajima... Okajima are you paying attention?"

Rock was back in his cubical "Yes Mister Kagayama..." he said to his domineering section boss.

"The Market is going down in flames," His manager complained, "...And your sitting at your desk day dreaming."

I'm sorry Mister Kagayama, I'll be more attentive." the subservience that had once been second nature tasted like ash in his mouth now. Had it really been like this. Bowing and scraping to get noticed, get promoted, to become like him and do as he did to others down the road.

"What should we be doing Okajima," His boss was saying, "maybe abandon the project, just punch out so to speak?"

Rock looked at the information in front of him. "No, no I think I can save it I think I can pull us out of this tail spin."

Rock reached out and pressed the call button for his secretary. Miss Sullivan do we have a fire suppression system installed?"

"Thank God, you're awake. I thought I'd lost you."

"Okajima is this really what you want to be doing with yourself. Was it really so bad here?"

"Yes Mister Kagyama it was. Now if you will excuse me I think I'm crashing so hallucinating is kind of a distraction."

Rock opened his eyes, looking around, he realized that his head had smacked the dashboard. he grabbed at the knot forming on his forehead. At least he wasn't bleeding. Sirens whined in his ears as the water rushed by with threatening closeness.

"Rock I need you to snap out of it. See if you can get the fire suppression systems online."

Rock looked for and found the control she was talking about yanked on the switch and new alarms replaced the old ones. As far as his limited understanding of the control could tell him he had partially averted his fate of burning alive enough that the jet felt attention could be played to the fact they were nose-diving into the ocean at a speed guaranteed to spread him like a fine paste across the eastern seaboard.

"OK, I'm not on fire anymore can we do something about the crashing thing." he asked

"OK Rock you have to level that plane out the engines were overheating with the fires so it will take a while to get them back. "

How long is awhile?" Rock asked.

Not short enough if you don't level that plane out and start climbing."

Rock angled the plane, which started to level but did not climb.

"Rock quit screwing around get that plane back in the air. You're going too fast to ditch it safely."

Rock ignored her, he ignored everything except the altitude and pitch controls as the altimeter clicked off the final few feet until he hit the water Rock pulled the stick back hard.

The nose pulled up and wake churned up as the back of the plane skidded across the water. Rock nailed his eyes to the controls and saw that the overheated engine was cooling rapidly. He punched the engine restart and felt a surge of power as the jets kicked in sending the plane skyward.

The ex-office drone let out a rebel yell screaming as he flew higher.

"Congratulations Rock if you were a testing pilot you would definitely have earned your wings." Oracle said obviously sharing in his joy, "Ok, take her up about a thousand feet and circle, hit the coms, and wait I'll signal you when its time for a pick up."

"Pick up, who am I picking up?"

"If everything goes like we planned, Batman will be coming back and he'll need a ride. Assuming he survives dealing with your Boss."

"Batman is going toe to toe with Boss Balalaika?"

"I'd place your bets now Rock this is going to be a close one."

* * *

Balalaika dropped in the gloom of the freighter's hold.

"I must admit Mister Bat you've surprised me. I thought you some glory hound, a misguided fool lucky enough to be pulling your nonsense in a city filled with incompetents but you really have some skills don't you?"

She saw a shadow flitting though the inky blackness and smiled. Batman skipped from cover to cover trying to get close to her. His insides were on fire he had gotten lucky with her men the adrenaline rush of surviving the ATV's fiery plunge to the water had strengthened him but that strength was long gone. He was hoping Balalaika might have snapped out of the daze of Ivy's control but his luck tonight was bad verging on disastrous.

He crept up behind her and was reaching for her when she kicked backwards hard sending him stumbling with a gasp. He looked up and she faced him wearing a set of goggles.

"All this time, I'm I really the first to think of wearing night vision goggles when facing you?"

He hurled a flash bang at her causing Balalaika to roar in annoyance as she peeled the goggles from her face. She kicked him again. He rallied punching out at her sending her rifle flying. The two of them pounded on each other relentlessly but the ending of the fight seemed certain. Batman was weakening, he had pushed himself beyond all reason while Balalaika was running on the pure love of combat that had chilled the hearts of so many who had fallen before her. Finally she grabbed a metal pole and used it to swat him into a wall where she began bringing the bar down on him, bashing him repeatedly.

"You invade my ship, frustrate my plans, if this was anywhere else you'd be dead already." she growled as she hurled him down on the ground, jamming the pole onto his chest.

"Had to come ...had to...stop your master."

"I'm the master here."

"Not anymore, now Ivy is calling the shots I had to stop her from killing everyone."

"Amazing," Ivy was climbing down the steps into the hold, "The Great Batman champion of justice in the end your nothing but a corporate lackey."

"You and Penguin will kill thousands of innocent people."

"Please, as if that skirt chasing moron would kill someone he could take advantage of and how can you call any of those rich cretins innocent. Wayne is the worst of the lot talking about saving the planet and all the time his company runs a slash and burn outfit destroying thousands of miles of rainforest."

"Bruce Wayne had no idea about that."

"His name on the door," Ivy ranted, "his responsibility -people like him allowed Jason Woodrue to poison me and get away with it. But I'll have my revenge, Mother Earth will have her revenge."

"Those people you attacked were innocent and even if they had committed crimes they should be tried and convicted under the law, not the deranged justice of an eco-terrorist."

"People like Wayne can buy police, government, even so-called heroes of the people."

"What about Balalaika's men, the ones you used your steroid on. They almost died, they would have died if not for me."

"Mother Earth takes care of her children if they were dying its only because their bodies were so filled with chemicals and poisons that they didn't deserve Gala's gifts."

"...And what about Balalaika what happens when your poisons won't work on her anymore. You almost lost control at the station she could break free again."

"Enough, I'm tired of your interference. You want to save Wayne and the others so badly I'll give you the cure. It's a biochemical agent manufactured within my own body. I can dose you with it in any one of a hundred ways, but I have admit I like kissing the best and if I may say so I've never had any one complain...any one who lived that is."

Poison Ivy Kissed Batman full on the mouth. Holding the kiss, she finally released him and let him slump to the floor.

"Now you are dying of the same thing Bruce Wayne is and the beautiful part is the only cure is the poison. I'd have to give you another dose of the toxin. Too bad I'm not that kind of girl." She gestured to Batman, "Feel free to shot him if you want Balalaika it would be a waste of a bullet he'll be dead soon enough."

Balalaika looked at The Batman before stepping forward and cocking her pistol jamming the barrel against Ivy's head.

"What are you...?"

"I'm a little fuzzy on the last few hours but I feel an overwhelming urge to shoot you and I have found that going with my instincts is always a good idea."

"You don't want to hurt me. We're friends don't you remember?"

Balalaika looked at her curiously before shooting her in the leg. "I'm feeling a lot of things right now but friendship is not among them care to try again?"

"But how, how could you..." Ivy looked at the Batman who was struggling back to his feet, "You did this somehow you did it."

"She did it, her will and her strength. The arc projector was rigged to release a counter agent. I just neutralized the effect your pheromones were having on her. Now she is her own self again."

"Please you have to..." ivy started but the Russian pistol-whipped her savagely, jamming her gun in Ivy's mouth.

"Shut your mouth bitch and keep your hands to yourself. I am going to hurt you in ways that you cannot even begin to imagine. You will look like a fucking jigsaw puzzle when I am done with you. Every time you look in the mirror you'll be sick to your stomach and you will remember what a bad idea it was to fuck with me and my men."

"Let her go Balalaika you don't want to do this."

"What, are you planning on appealing my morality, perhaps you're hoping that I have a better nature, a merciful and gentle side that can be reasoned with. Look in my eyes -masked man, do you see anything like mercy or pity there."

"No I don't but I do see intelligence enough to wonder why you can still hear engine sounds even though I crippled your engines. Or why the ship could still be moving when it's supposed to be dead in the water."

"The Ship...it's not drifting?" Balalaika whispered with dawning realization.

"The Torpedoes you thought missed you. They're experimental tech destined for the coast guard and harbor patrol. Torpedoes with the warheads gutted to make room for a more powerful engine and magnets that allow them to attach to disabled vessels..."

"You've been pushing the Zeleska back toward Gotham."

By now we should be only a few miles from Gotham City. If you kill her now you won't be acting in self defense and no consulate will be able to get you out of a murder rap -this isn't Roanapur."

There is no way a system like that would work without on shore communications."

"Or a relay from the plane, you didn't think one attack would take it out did you? it's been acting as a beacon so the torpedo engines can guide the ship toward land. Its also been relaying our conversation to the Coast Guard. Ivy just implicated herself and exonerated you."

"You honestly believe I'm scared of your little Police Man Gordon or his pit bull Sawyer. Don't make me laugh."

"I can give you a very good reason." Batman held out a PDA, "Your second in command during the war. His murder was what drove you to join the Russian Mafia seeking the man who ordered his death. That name has always eluded you. Kept just out of reach ...until now."

Balalaika took the pad and read the information "These accounts are they all Ra's-al-ghul?

"He has people in every branch and cell of most criminal cartels including the Russian Mafia. The man you have been looking for is one of his top agents within the organization. I will give him to you along with the names of the few of The Demon's agents who have managed to find places in Roanapur. With that, you, Chang and the rest can purge Ra's-al-ghul's influence completely from your little kingdom of crime."

"This information would make me more powerful why would you want that?"

"There are degrees of victory and loss I am prepared to accept. I want you out of Gotham and I want Ivy alive. The real question is what level of victory or defeat is acceptable to you?"

"She's dangerous she almost killed your city's precious Bruce Wayne and others."

Wayne was never in any real danger Some associates of mine cracked Ivy's poison puzzle your people were useful in helping."

Balalaika looked torn between shooting Ivy and letting her go and ultimately screamed in frustration. She shot holes in the fuselages of the ATV's before training her weapon on the earth witch again. fuel started seeping out pooling across the floor.

"You are very lucky today Doctor, luckier then you deserve to be. But I have a long, long memory and the world is not so large that I won't be able to find you one day. You and I are not anywhere near being done with each other."

She turned on her heel and stalked toward the stairs leading out of the hold "I would advise you to move quickly Mister Bat. I am about to be the victim of a most regrettable chemical fire aboard ship. Much damage will have been done to the cargo preventing full identification." she flicked a lighter sparking up a cigar, Ivy realizing what she was intending, started screaming even as Balalaika launched the lighter into the air to land in the corner setting the room -including all her plants, ablaze.

Batman shot a line that latched on to the plane hovering over head Ivy was still screaming threats and curses when Batman dragged her to safety. His last sight of Balalaika was her cold eyes watching as he fled. Small wonder the warlords had come to fear her. Even in the midst of the bonfire surrounding her, she seemed oddly calm.

* * *

Rock sat nervously at the controls. "Are you sure you don't want to take over?" he asked Batman who was in the rear co-pilot seat.

"i need to keep her sedated. her unique body chemistry makes drugs useless so I'm trying ultra-sonics."

"But this is your plane and..."

"I'd be happy to take over if you think you can keep the deranged criminal who's slightest touch can kill under control."

"Never mind, I'm fine up here." Rock sighed.


	13. Chapter 13

Revy's Tale

...And that was how it all came down Boys & Girls

Balalaika cruised into port an hour after the fire and the cops didn't find anything. At first I was a little too busy being arrested by that dyke bitch Sawyer to give a crap about where she managed to stash a few hundred pounds of lethal weaponry. A few days later I found out. it all turned up in Cobblepot's warehouse sitting there in the middle of the floor like it had been left there.

Cobblepot was pissed at being framed and screamed to anyone who would listen to him that he was innocent. I think it might have gone OK for him if he hadn't then started hinting that he was going to name names starting with the real owner of the weapons cache. I'm guessing Cobblepot aint done much time or he would know you don't say something like that in front of guards who aren't getting paid nearly as much as they think they deserve.

On the day Penguin was to give his deposition He somehow ended up alone in an unmonitored interrogation room with Big Sister, What they talked about for thirty minutes I'll never know but when Penguin got back to Blackgate, rumor has it he needed a change of undies. There wasn't a mark on him but his story changed radically. He named names all right every crime boss he had done business with except Balalaika. Kind of convenient, everyone he named was connected to some organization called The Demon's Head. Cobblepot finished it off by naming Mickey as his partner and accusing him of trying to kill Balalaika and myself in the hotel. A bunch of people got it in the ass from the bosses right on down. Even a few members of the police force got named. It was beautiful.

Sawyer was good to her word, she tried to lock me up and have the key melted down. The DA lost interest in nailing me when he had the Great Penguin ratting out so many cooks and scumbags you'd think he was one of the good guys ...and not a freaky little worm who was obviously scared for his life and limbs. She tried bring up the murders I had committed years ago but my freebie lawyer pointed out that since I had been arrested for those crimes the only thing that really had me on was the crooks I had killed and since they were all made guys there was a feeling in the DA's office that crooks killing crooks was just either Darwinism in action or God's good work being done.

While Sawyer was screaming for my blood, I had my own worries however. I was still in jail. I was getting a lot of space at the chow line and in the exercise yard. The problem with that is when you are getting more space, someone else who liked the space they had, gets less.

Her name was Mimi and she was in for double homicide. Two beefy girls backed her; I only had to break their noses to get them to stay down. Mimi, I had to really work her over. I finally had to curb stomp the bitch. Nothing personal really, but if you don't mark your territory, someone else will be crapping on your lawn in no time.

After that I had no worries it seems rumors were spreading that I was some big time rep for Fourteen K Triad. Mimi and everyone else left me alone. Less then a week later I was back in an Interrogation room. Sawyer was grumbling while Rock was sitting looking miserable. Rock had spilled his guts, so he claimed, about being some kind of criminal high on the wanted list and a person of interest to the Thai Government. That Rock loses his shit at the thought of illegal downloading didn't seem to matter to anyone. Rock and I were being handed over to the Thai Government with the compliments of the US State Department. In fact a local law enforcement agent had shown up along with a member of the sate department to facilitate the transfer. The Door opens and in walks Eda in a business suit. Behind her was, of all things Chinglish dressed like a schoolteacher. I have no idea how Rock pulled this off but I figure I could play along.

"So you vile little Bitch," _Inspector_ Shenhua hissed, "After all the people you killed including my partner I finally catch up with you." She had managed to lose her normal pidgin dialect and was speaking English almost perfectly.

She reeled back and delivered a vicious slap across my face "You're going back to Big Tiger and this time they won't be letting you out." She snarled.

I was already to launch myself across the room when I noticed Rock shaking his head. Sawyer was looking at us like we were insane

Eda piped up "_Inspector_ - perhaps you might want to calm down." She gave Shenhua a dirty look who blushed a little before getting back into character.

"Yeah bitch," I snarled, "it's a long trip and nasty things can happen in-flight"

Shenhua forgot herself again for a second, "Just try it you stupid bitch, we see who is making it..." she calmed herself switching back to her character's speaking voice. "You won't provoke me, you animal, you and your boy toy will be doing a long stretch back home."

"Would you like help taking her back " Sawyer asked.

"Thank you Miss Sawyer but I brought along assistance just for the occasion." Shenhua gestured to the hallway. There, looking cool in a pin-strip business suit was Rotton; His sunglasses almost hid the slow wink he threw in my direction.

"Great, you got me," I sighed, "I'm ready to go - back to jail."

Eda piled on the charm like she was working a gullible mark, "Officer Sawyer the Sate Department wants to thank you for your accommodation in this, rest assured it's a favor we will remember when the time is right." she said sounding all professional and crap.

They even gave us a police escort to the airport. It took everything I had not to flip Sawyer the finger as the plane's door closed and the plane began to taxi down the runway.

* * *

Sawyer spent the rest of the day looking at the tape of the meeting, her instinct told her there was something off about the whole thing but she couldn't nail it down. Bullock happened to be walking by her office while she was scanning the tape and as he heard he action he smiled.

"Hey Sawyer I thought you hated my taste in movies?"

"I would hardly call that B-movie stuff you watch movies Harvey the women run around with almost no clothes and they do things with guns that are totally impossible."

"Yeah but you got to admit Shanghai Sirens is a cut above interrogation scene won the lead actress some kind of viewers choice award."

"I'm not watching a scene from a movie Harvey. This ... actually ...happened." She whispered with dawning realization.

""Well you could fool me that's the Shanghai Sirens interrogation scene word for word I remember it because the lady walks and slaps the other chick really hard. "

"SONOFABITCH." Sawyer screamed before leaping from her desk and running down the hallway.

"Hey Harvey, what'd you do this time?"

"I don't know and I don't want to know."

* * *

Team Roanapur didn't relax till they were out over the ocean. Revy settled back in her seat with a sigh.

"Who's paying for this? Balalaika?"

Eda answered her while slipping back into her tinted shades. "Chang is paying for the ride home but Shenhua and Rotton are coming out of your bonuses."

"Fuck, that is not fair."

"Don't blame me, Lover-boy agreed to the deal when he set all this up."

Revy shot Rock a dirty look. Rock sighed and wondered how long it would be before this was going to come back and bite him on the ass. For Revy, screwing with her bonus was a sin punishable by death, preferably a slow and painful one.

He looked around the cabin to avoid Revy's glare of death and that was when he saw her, dressed in dark glasses and big floppy hat, sitting across the aisle. He looked closer and was shocked to realize he recognized this stranger. It was Selina Kyle. She gave him a knowing smile and a wink while putting a finger to her lips asking for his silence. Rock had no idea why Selina was on a plane headed nonstop for Thailand but he resolved to grab as much shuteye as he could. It had been a long trip that had taken much out of him and he suspected that when he finally found out what was going on it would be yet more of the weirdness that constituted his daily life.

If there was one thing living in Roanapur had taught him it was that you grabbed onto the little moments of joy while they lasted.

* * *

Balalaika and Chang were meeting for lunch. She had returned to the city to find it running smoothly. Apparently the overt threat of personally dealing with Balalaika if anyone so much as breathed wrong had kept the streets peaceful in her absence.

She had filled Chang in on the events in Gotham and he was amazed at her tale. "So what about the boys," he asked when she was finished, "How are they taking it -what happened with this ivy person."

"Boris is taking it the hardest they just need rest and time. I've given everyone who accompanied me light duties for a while let them enjoy being away from that nonsense."

"What about you? How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling like I should be kneecapping you or did you think I would not figure out who sent me those pictures in the first place."

Chang looked shocked, "If I did such a thing, and that is no admission, but if I did such a thing; it would have been at the behest of a friend who just wanted you to know how Nukhaev was being treated."

"...And this friend did they perhaps get anything out of the fact that during the chaos a triad boss was killed and several of his solders as well?"

"If I had such a friend I doubt they would tell me other then to say that in return for undermining the triad in Gotham and you breaking the leadership of the Russians, they are enjoying a well-deserved and stomach cancer free retirement."

"Just like that, cancer went away, that sounds almost miraculous."

"I was thinking the same thing. You know one day the Demon's Head is going to make another run at us here. We dodged a bullet this time but Roanapur is just too rich a target for someone not to make another play for us."

"When that day comes we will deal with it, but I'm more concerned about you. Why would you risk getting involved in something like this it seems so out of character."

"Uncle Donnie told me about Nukhaev. You and I my have had our differences but I think you're a good judge of character. I doubt you would fall for a guy who would steal or was so incompetent he would let himself be betrayed. I hope you got a little ...well closure."

"Nukhaev was an idiot and always was a poor judge of character. The only reason we even met was because he was always being dumped by my barracks mate so she could chase anything that had a inch of braid on its chest."

"Ouch, when did he finally get a clue?"

"A round about the time I was promoted to unit commander and Natasha dumped him so she could take a run at me. He got roaring drunk and told her off in such a passionate fashion ...I was impressed I didn't think he had it in him."

Their lunch tuned into dinner, which became late night snacks and more drinks. About two am the owner of the restaurant decided that if the two most powerful syndicate bosses wanted to sit around getting drunk, telling stories and laughing like jackals he might as well enjoy it after all you had to grab the good times while they lasted.

* * *

Ivy woke up to find Harley looking down at her

"Welcome to your new home Red, Arkham Asylum"

"I'm not crazy."

"I never get tired of the people who say that..." Quinzell assumed a mocking tone, "Sure I carve a mark in my own flesh every time I kill someone, but that doesn't make me insane," She laughed, it was a chilling sound, "...Anyway Red we have a lot of ground to cover over the next few days."

"I not staying here, I'm not insane."

"Well see if you are sane, then you will go to trial. A trial you won't live to see. In fact, I doubt you'll last five minutes in general population of any prison within a hundred miles of here."

"Balalaika wants me dead?"

Harley giggled, "Not dead - She'll pay double the bounty if she can get her hands on you, triple if you are unharmed. What she wants to do to you, she wants to do it with her own two hands, over the course of several days."

"So what happens now?"

"I have the newt few days to prepare you so that when the court ordered head shrink examines you he'll decide that you're not competent. After that you get fully committed to our care. You'll be safe till Balalaika gets bored waiting for someone to deliver your head on platter to her. "

Harley patted Ivy "Relax and enjoy the ride Red cause you and me, we're going to be good friends one way or the other." she siad with a sinister smile.

As Ivy looked at her she saw one thing very clearly. Doctor Harleen Quinzell was easily as insane as anyone locked up in Arkham Asylum, maybe even more so.

* * *

It was almost a week later when Balalaika got the videodisk it arrived in a plain brown wrapper with her name written in green and purple crayon. She played the disk it showed Mikhail looking beaten and scared, standing over him was Joker.

"You know Bally You and Me, it could have been special but never let it be said the Joker doesn't understand when the heart calls you home you have to answer. But Let me leave you with a final thought as you murder, mutilate, pillage and plunder and in general do all the things that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." The Joker stepped back to gesture to the tied up Mikhail, "Look at this guy, this loathsome sickly little mongrel who isn't fit to lick the scum from your boots let alone be killed by you, but me on the other hand ... I like to say the only difference between a sane man and an insane man is one very bad day...well welcome to Mickey's really, really bad day." He started laughing manically while he picked up a surgical tool and advanced toward Mikhail.

Balalaika sat watching the video in its entirety and when it was done she rewound it ...if any of the Spaznets found it odd the disturbing sound of her laughter coming from the editing room they were smart enough not to say anything.

***The End***

AN - I want to thank everyone who stuck with me on this its been a fun ride for me and hope the same is true of you.


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